Glad to see lots of spirited and useful inputs and opinions on this thread. Thats actually what Hard Torque is supposed to be like.
This 'honest and straight talk' thing rides a pretty thin edge on the relationship quadrant. It is so easy to slip into the hierarchy trap without even realising it when you walk this border. One way 'has' to be better than the other and that's where the problem lies.
Animeher points to the utility of straight and honest talk. We all learn from an unbiased dissection of the trip, an uninhibited sharing of the spicy details. Yes, thats enticing and good in a way. But then can a post or two give you the real picture? We are talking of real persons here. If I have a better way with words, I can take apart another person and he probably would be hard put getting his side of the story up at equal value. And there are better ways of sharing and putting things up for learning than turning them into spicy episodes that probably typecast a person in a certain manner. Asrani could never get beyond his 'Jailer' image from Sholay
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Vishwas' logs make for great reading and his unaffected candidness is an endearing trait. His forthrightness did make Inder uncomfortable but I believe they both have been around together long enough to work it out between themselves and plan more rides together, this time 'knowing' what each does. And I definitely was not pointing exclusively at his logs when I penned this write-up though he was obviously included. It was about a trend that walks the edge of personality clashes as knowledge and skill hierarchies are sure to crop up and that one way is better than the other will show face inevitably. And people on the forum will unwittingly encourage that by taking sides. Do the 'truthful introspection' in the privacy of your friendship, of the togetherness your ride had garnered and give everyone here the results of your learning. The process of attaining that experience is irrelevant for strangers on the forum, it is the results that hold value. Put the process on display and you might end up loosing a real friend on the altar of public applause, a misplaced appreciation for braveheart honesty that looks good only as long as someone else is indulging in it and you are nowhere close to getting scalded by the steam.
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Originally Posted by darkknight
well I completely disagree to compatibility thing.Me & MG just did this Spiti+leh circuit.Arduous thing to say the least.
both if us are like chalk & cheese with dramatically opposite personalities.
i smoke ,drink & enjoy many a stops.he doesn't (except for photo stops  ).
I am extrovert & he an introvert.
As long as you respect each other & each other's traits than other things automatically fall into place.
having different personalities actually helped us around more than if we were of the same nature.specific examples will be shared as & when the thread starts . |
DK: Compatibility is NOT about being photocopies of each other. The differences or similarities actually are not the issue. The issue is knowing what to expect. You and MG 'knew' each other well enough to accept the apparent 'differences in temperament'. It is the unknowns, the 'surprise revelations' that cause the most problems. And this surprise is two sided. Both are as put off or taken aback by what each does or doesn't. You could turn your differing personalities to your advantage only because you knew the differences. Thats exactly the purpose of the 'compatibility check'.
PS: yes, we did miss you guys by a couple of days. would have been great to catch up somewhere high up in the Himalayan highlands.
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Originally Posted by darkside_of_d_sun
A good write up and this is not a recent trend either! I was a member of xBhp's first group ride to Ladakh in sirca 2005 and we came back with similar sentiments echoing in our minds.
Fast forward 5 years and the friendship amongst that "then famous" group of 5 is still pretty intact and we have clocked quite a few short and long rides together. As you grow up, if you are able keep your head in the right place things smoothen out and the fragile "buddy"ship blossoms into lifelong friendship. And once that happens, the plurality of a "group" soon disappears and you tend to go by the cliche "all for one and one for all". Much easier said than done, there isnt any shortcuts to this! Understanding each other and accomodating everyone takes time and some maturity - not every group would achieve that and thats life! Ride on.
Cheers,
Shamik
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Well put Shamik. Like I stated in the article, "And personalities are about priorities and decisions. Which is where the differences and similarities exist.", differences will always be there and are in a way necessary in tight situations. Identical thinking could become a thought-deficient trap. Maturity is about knowing these differences and keeping them in their place. What one does wrong has to be kept apart from what one is. Faults and the person are not the same and realizing this is the core of growing up. Getting in sync with each other takes time and its worth restraining oneself from public sharing of rifts while giving the togetherness time to form a rhythm and grow strong enough to last long.