forty6

For the first time in my life i sat on a RE Bullet Electra. And thumbed the starter. It shuddered and shook so much that i thought i would have to call everyone a comrade now.

Naxalites and all the people who love revolutions must love the Bullet.

Starting it is like being on a cusp of a revolt. The point in history where the tide turned. Bike may or may not have moved, but yes history has been created. The bullet has come to life and it sends all the vibes to show its displeasure at being woken up, for something as humiliating as a test ride.

Slot it into first gear and it moves as urgently as a kid sent to meet the principal. Reluctantly. Dragging its feet. With that much torque it should go like stink but it does not. With great torque comes great responsibility. Electra's motto, not mine.

It is comfy though. It feels like a sofa with a handle bar. Or maybe sitting on the pot with newspaper in hand. Which is good because you arrive in style, no matter what time you arrive. Or if you arrive at all. Because the brakes are useless. I doubt there is a brake in there. The retardation is due to hamsters running inside the drum in the opposite direction. Or maybe braking is just a faith, if you have believe in it, it might stop. The infidels should just die.

Osama and his bearded homies might also love the bullet then.

Ohkay i admit you look good on it. Even Nannu looked smart on it. Which is something because otherwise Nannu is the only brother who looks good with his sister. The whole sit straight posture helps you look smart on it. But then think about it, the only way to sit on a bullet is straight. Any other way and the Frisbees in the spinal chord will fly out. No, really someday they will, the shudder form starting it will loosen them over time and then one day "Hello is it the Indian Spinal Injuries Centre. Yes I would like to book an appointment".

And don't tell me it builds character. That's what my Dad said every time i protested at being taken to the Village for the summer vacation. That's also what the slap said when he slapped me for protesting too much. Didn't build anything. I still like boobs.

But still i like it. Not as a bike, but as a thing. Sort of like a controversial opinion. It is an opinion. You can't be sitting on the fence with it. You are either this side or that side with the bullet. I like it for that. I also like it for making you have no respect for law, once you are astride it. It is the frown in "ohh those damn bikers".

It does not have an accent. It has attitude and that makes me think of forgiving my friend for buying one.

P.S: In case you have seen adverts of Bullet, don't believe a word of them. It is not a bike for grown up men. It is for young boys. You have to a boy to love tractors. Or fire engines.

ken cool

Interestingly written. Did not understand the Boobs bit though!

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forty6

thanks. that one is a perennial joke that i run.

Also after i wrote that one i added this.

I know i have derided Bullet for being agricultural, old and to some extent snooty. And like a petrol pump attendant, i stand by all that.

But that is like judging a Ferrari just by its looks or just by its engine. A Ferrari brings occasion to every sense and sometimes sense to occasions. Now, Bullet can give you Parkinsons due to its shaky ride, and maybe, Syphilis too, but more importantly like Ferrari it can also give sense to some occasions.

Occasions like good weather.

You have to be on a Bullet to enjoy good weather and feel smug about it. In the same way you have to be in an old house with 15 foot high ceiling, old creaky ceiling fans, a bright summer day with light filtering through the drapes, lemonade on call and an old transistor to really enjoy Rafi or Kishore songs.

You do need a Bullet to enjoy good weather.

And that's because Bullet's are not supposed to go fast. At 70 you're at the Bike's limit and at 80 you are at yours. So you tend to drive at a middle-ground 60. Perfect speed for the breeze to gently brush past by, rather than the full-on rugby assault it is at 110 on my Pulsar.


Riding into the sunset is old-school. So is smiling at fellow motorist. So is eating bugs; because you are wearing a half-face helmet. And so is riding a slow and crude bullet. It is the perfect tool to bring some old-school joy to good old-school things, like good old good weather.

After all occasions are old-school too.

n_aditya

ROFL. +1 to that Ken da. Wonderfully put forty6, but why the abrupt mention of the twins?

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forty6

^ trying to emphasize on the fact that going through pain is not a sure shot way to build character. because if it was i would have one. And openly claiming i love boobs is something that shows i don't have too much of character. So that is why it ends the argument.

satyenpoojary

Fantastic!
Thats some polished bullet bashing!

WTH! You guys didnt get the boobs joke?
Slap - Character - Still Like Boobs? Wasnt that simple! Or I guess I am just corny! (with a C)


Awesomeness!

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niks_devil666

I was never a bulleteer till I bot one and enjoyed every bit of the bike. Am not a fan of 350 but sheer torq and feel of the 500 is something that brings a smile to my face . Having ridden numerous bikes over the years I feel it is the best Indian bike I have ridden . And I for one will always love the bullet for what it is. It was , is and will always be a great bike to own and ride.
Bullet <-> Joy of riding .

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enfro

indeed a differntly written blog good one..Good one Rossi

road_ripper

Awesome Writeup!!
Loved it completely.. Lol, B**BS part was the funniest!
Now that you have dared bashing bullet so bad, Be ready to see some Osama's missile's being fired at you!

Siddhant Mishra

Impressed by your write up........thank u very much for expressing BOOBS (bullets) in such a manner .It's the real fact that until and unless you own a bullet or either ride a bullet you don't know what a bullet is, whether it is a bike for riding it on your own way or it is either a lords of the largest democracy in the world.....
Atlast it is the real bike which makes me proud to be an INDIAN where bullets are being manufactured and are the Pride of our nation.