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Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

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  • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

    Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mothers pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. they were both very much in favor of it.

    The doctor set the pain transfer to 10%, for starters, explaning that even 10% was probably more pain the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and "kick it up a notch."

    The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husbands blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing at this point, they decided to try for 50%. the husband continued to feel quite well.

    Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

    The wife delivered a healthy baby boy with virtuall,y no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, they found their driver dead near car.

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    • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

      Originally posted by psr View Post
      So you are the one with the big Laugh eh ? Mr.Cleaner soon you will meet a Washing Machine who will " Take care of you ".... (Just a lament.........as a man I don't wish it on you.)
      ROFLMAO!!! HA HA HA HA! THAT IS EPIC!!!
      yeah... nail that guy... he cannot... he has no right to be happy while we all r burning in hell!

      Originally posted by psr View Post
      "ONLY" 10+ years of married life...then you have a long way to go judging by your Avatar, which has to wear a Hood for ID protection...
      oh well, its been 14 yrs of terror & exile [15th year running]
      i also tried convincing the mods to block the forum content for non-registered visitors - they just wont listen!
      have no choice but to hide under that hoodie veil
      ◦ ● 4-wheels move the body... 2-wheels move the soul ● ◦

      Comment


      • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

        Originally posted by whymail View Post
        ROFLMAO!!! HA HA HA HA! THAT IS EPIC!!!
        yeah... nail that guy... he cannot... he has no right to be happy while we all r burning in hell!

        Please don't nail that guy. Please.

        The phrase has very different connotations today than what it meant 2000 years ago
        Biking is not about what you have between your legs, its all about how well you use it!!!!!!!

        Give your details here if you want to help your fellow xBhpian stranded in your city

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        • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

          Originally posted by The Monk View Post
          Please don't nail that guy. Please. The phrase has very different connotations today than what it meant 2000 years ago
          ROFL LOL LOL!
          oh well i stand corrected then!
          yes, the phrase in my times, considering i've fallen off the calendar about a decade ago, meant something totally naive back then
          in present times, u just get the guy married & the rest of his fate will follow!

          That encourages me to share today's demented pic...

          With the advent of Pulsar 220F & then the NS200 & the new fleet of sub-300's about to be released...
          THIS is what the trusted ol' 150 is doing!

          Click image for larger version

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          ◦ ● 4-wheels move the body... 2-wheels move the soul ● ◦

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          • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

            Originally posted by Cleaner View Post
            Haha, the recent posts here make me feel glad that I'm unable to get married.
            Milton soon the day will come.
            OF THE BIKERS, BY THE BIKERS, FOR THE BIKERs

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            • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

              It's alright Two friends talking: - Sorry man, I slept with your wife - It's ok, I sleep with her every night ! ........... We're all gonna die - Doctor, I ate pizza with the expired date of consumption, what'll happen to me, am I gonna die? - Well everyone is going to die some day, you know.... - Oh my God! What have I done? Now we're all gonna die!.............. Happy Marriage - Honey, both that journalist and the engineer proposed to our daughter! - So who's the lucky man? - The engineer. Our daughter married the journalist...

              ----consecutive posts auto-merged-----

              A 60-year-old man is getting his annual physical: - Doc, do you think I'll live another 40 years so I can reach 100? - That depends," says the doctor.Do you smoke? - No - Do you drink? - No - Do you fool around with loose women? - Of course not - Well, then, why the hell do you want to live for another 40 years?...

              ----consecutive posts auto-merged---------consecutive posts auto-merged-----

              A DAMN GOOD EXPLANATION - The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman And she was upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away ! Andthe husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened. 'Go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!' And the husband began -- 'Well, Iwas getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them inmoments. Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw themaway. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, whi ch you don't wear because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sistergave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same. 'The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please, Do you have Anything else that your wife doesn't use? Thats how we ended up on bed...

              ----consecutive posts auto-merged-----

              A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he hadany jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added,"that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari sir...!!"

              ----consecutive posts auto-merged-----

              A man and a financial adviser went out on a date and there conversation landed up 2 be this; Lady: Do you smoke? Guy: Yes I do. Lady: How many packs a day? Guy: 3 packs. Lady: How much per pack? Guy: $10.00 per pack. Lady: And how long have you been smoking? Guy: 15 years Lady: So 1 pack is $10.00 and you have been smoking 3 packs a day which puts your spending per month at $900. In 1 year, it would have been $10,800. Correct? Guy: Correct. Lady: If 1 year you spend $10,800, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending total at $162,000. Correct? Guy: Correct. Lady: Do you know if you hadn't smoke, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have by now bought a Ferrari? Guy: Oh. Do you smoke? Lady: No. Guy: Then where's your Ferrari? Hahahahahahhaha *ahahha Women think they know everything

              ----consecutive posts auto-merged---------consecutive posts auto-merged-----

              Auto merging...! Its working perfectly..!!
              Ride like you are invisible.

              Comment


              • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                For those who have the weekend near. Other folks, keep slogging!! Sunday is coming.

                Cheerz!!
                Attached Files
                The real beauty lies in throttle's twist!!

                Headlight can be replaced, Head cannot be. Wear a helmet.

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                • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                  Originally posted by whymail View Post
                  he has no right to be happy while we all r burning in hell!
                  oh my God !! is it that painful ?? burning in hell !!
                  .
                  .
                  .
                  .
                  .
                  Anyways, after been through the recent posts on this thread I was researching on the internet about marriage, couples etc etc and came across this

                  .Click image for larger version

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                  Last edited by xpranav; 05-24-2013, 02:17 PM. Reason: updating post

                  Warm Regards,
                  Pranav


                  Use riding gears because Safety doesn't happen by Accident

                  Spot me covered in:
                  Vega Shadow - SPG Icarus - SPG Ares - SPG Perseus

                  Honda CBF Stunner - Oct'11 to till date | Barky's Baby: Honda CBF 125 Modification

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                  • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                    Originally posted by devils_friend View Post
                    For those who have the weekend near. Other folks, keep slogging!! Sunday is coming.

                    Cheerz!!
                    jingalala ho,jingalalalaaaa hoooo chall daroo pitey hai cheers every one.

                    Comment


                    • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                      A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then getsup and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom..! Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
                      Ride like you are invisible.

                      Comment


                      • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                        Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya ...
                        Mechanic - Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ?


                        Sardar - Nahin yaar, dono side ki daal de, warna phir problem hogi.


                        ----------------------------------


                        Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
                        A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
                        Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
                        This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.


                        ---------------------------------


                        Our Sardarji got an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. Sardarji had never flied before and hence was quite excited although tense.
                        Once he boarded the plane, a BOEING 707 Sardaji started jumping in excitement,jumping from seat to seat and shouting 'BOEING! BOEING!!
                        BOEING!!! BO....'.

                        He forgot all about the surroundings and the shouting reached the
                        cock-pit. Irritated by the sound, the Pilot came out and shouted 'BE SILENT! '.

                        There was a pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody was looking at the Sardarji and the angry Pilot.

                        Sardarji stared at the Pilot in silence for a moment and the next moment
                        was shouting, 'OEING! OEING!! OEING!!! OE...'
                        Last edited by Divya Sharan; 05-24-2013, 03:26 PM.
                        Got a $5 head? Get a $5 helmet.
                        Because everyone who passes, isn't a martyr!

                        Bullet Service Guide CBR 250R Parts Manual Fz16 service manual - https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1-...VFQmJzakk/view
                        Hero Moto Corp Bikes' Parts RE STD 350 Wiring Diagram (CI) Service Manual - Classic 350/500
                        ZMR parts - https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-U...it?usp=sharing
                        P200NS Spares' prices - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/...taGd5R2c#gid=0

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                        • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                          Sorry Pic is not in proper size.
                          Attached Files
                          Last edited by sumitro_d; 05-24-2013, 03:56 PM. Reason: Sorry Pic is not in proper size.

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                          • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                            2013 R15(Sold) | 2014-?? Duke 390

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                            • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                              They are stiff... ahem..ahem.. The T-shirt dude!!

                              Click image for larger version

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                              Cheers!
                              VJ
                              Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
                              The girl said, 'NO!'


                              And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


                              THE END

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                              • The Dream come true


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