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Thread: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

  1. #3601
    Rusted nadz11.ns's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...



    He sure looks happy

    Ride safe and have fun.
    Regards
    Nadeem


  2. #3602
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

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    ------

    Four expectant fathers pace in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse enters and tells the first man, "Congratulations, you're the father of twins."

    "What a coincidence," the man says. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team."

    A little later, the nurse returns and tells the second man, "You are the father of triplets."

    "That's really an incredible coincidence," he answers. "I work for the 3M Corporation."

    An hour later, the nurse tells the third man that his wife has just given birth to quadruplets.

    The man says, "I don't believe it! I work for the Four Seasons. What a coincidence!"

    After hearing this, everyone's attention turns to the fourth guy, who has just fainted. He slowly regains consciousness and whispers, "I should have never taken that job at Millennium Computers."

    ------

    A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide.

    The pharmacist said, " Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy. I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! They'll throw both of us in jail, and I'll lose my license."

    Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife and handed it to the pharmacist.

    The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription.".


  3. #3603
    Keyboard Warrior chaosaddict's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    Speechless!!!


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    sibun, sambit, ryan.virgo and 12 others like this.
    BENEATH THE REMAINS.........
    Instagram - chaosaddict666 (follow for atypical uploads on heavy metal, bikes, alcohol, chakna, life, fashion yada, yada)
    YouTube - chaosaddict666 (Disclaimer: crappiest uploads ever, viewer discretion is advised)

  4. #3604
    Addicted rajpal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    Quote Originally Posted by siddharthsure View Post

    Anyone need her?? xD
    Attachment 127209
    That's hilarious...

    For Yuvi, he was diagnosed with cancer as well around the same time..isn't it?
    sibun and krishnab4u like this.
    Once I have donned my black helmet, I become anonymous. My face ceases to identify me. My black visor shields others from the rigours of my passing glance while shielding me from their attempts to peer into my soul. I am an anonymous rider shrouded in black. I am no longer a specific self. I am a passing Traveller.

  5. #3605
    psr
    psr is offline
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    Sister Barbara opened a letter from home one evening. Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had sent.
    Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture.
    As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.
    Quickly, she wrote, "Don't despair. Sister Barbara" on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man's attention and tossed it out the window to him. The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.
    The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at her door, insisting on seeing her.
    She went down and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills.
    "What's this?" she asked.
    "That's the $8,000 you have coming Sister," he replied. "Don't Despair paid 80-to-1."


    A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.

    She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

    "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

    She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic."

    The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"

    The nun says "OK, pull into the next alley."

    He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

    "My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?"

    "Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

    The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."


    It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

    Nevertheless, to be on the safe side he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

    "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
    So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.
    A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"

    "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."
    The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.
    Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

    "Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever." "How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

    The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."


    A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever.
    She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car.
    She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that her the fever was getting worse.
    She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door." The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this."
    So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a shady looking character inside wearing an old biker skull rag on his head . The woman thought, "This is who you sent to help me?" But, being desperate she pressed thru her fear and decided to be thankful. The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
    He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened. She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank you so much! You are a very nice man."
    The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."
    The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you God! You even sent me a professional!"

    Faith is Always Answered..
    Last edited by psr; 12-04-2013 at 12:14 PM.
    When Was The Last Time,You Did Something For The First Time.

  6. #3606
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    9 THINGS I HATE ABOUT PEOPLE

    1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

    2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

    3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

    4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!

    5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid rs.300 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.

    6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

    7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

    8. When people say "life is short". What the?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

    9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?

  7. #3607
    Rusted nadz11.ns's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

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    sibun and Honda_CBF like this.

    Ride safe and have fun.
    Regards
    Nadeem


  8. #3608
    Live2Race Rakesh Rok's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...



    Cheers!!!
    Yamaha Rx135 - 2005 - 2007 (stolen :mad:)
    Scooty Pep - 2008 - 2012 (sold)
    Honda Unicorn - 2012 - 2015 (crashed)
    Hero Honda Splendor+ 2015 - present (temporary ride)
    Bajaj Pulsar AS200 - 16th September 2015 - present ride

    10 years into riding :D
    Live2Race. . .

  9. #3609
    Rusted shelton_jh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    You think you're cool ??? Think again!

    sibun, psr, Honda_CBF and 5 others like this.
    Young riders pick a destination and go, Old riders pick a direction and go !
    My best trip till date:http://www.xbhp.com/talkies/tourer/2...uke-390-a.html

  10. #3610
    psr
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    A woman is out looking for a pet, and so she's trying the local pet shops.
    She walks into a small pet shop and explains her need to the attendant.
    He thinks for a moment and then says, "I've got just the thing for you madam. I'll just get him."
    With that, he disappears into the back of the shop, and returns a few seconds later with a cute little puppy.
    "This dog is a special dog," he tells her. "It is able to fly," he explains, and with that throws the dog into the air.
    It immediately begins to float gracefully around the shop.
    "There is one problem with him, however. Whenever you say 'my', he'll eat whatever you've mentioned.
    Watch. "My apple!"
    The lady watches in astonishment as the dog zooms over to the shop attendant and furiously devours an apple he has produced from his pocket.
    "He's cute, and so unusual. I'll take him," she says, and a few minutes later she is on her way back home with dog to show her husband.
    "Darling, look what a clever pet I bought today!" she exclaims when she gets back home. "He can fly!"

    The husband peers at the dog, and then remarks, "Fly eh? Ha! My ass!"


    A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
    "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."
    "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."
    "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise.
    They are Russian."


    A duke is hunting in a forest with his men-at-arms and servants when he comes upon a tree.
    Archery targets are painted all over it, and smack in the middle of each is an arrow.
    "Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cries the duke. "I must find him."

    After continuing through the forest for a few miles, he comes across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow.
    Eventually the boy admits that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets.
    "You didn't just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?" asks the duke worriedly.
    "No my lord. I shot them from 100 paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy."

    "That is truly astonishing," says the duke. "I hereby admit you into my service. But I must ask one favor in return.
    You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot."
    "Well," said the boy, "first I fire the arrow at the tree, and then I paint the target around it."



    Two patients limp into two different American Medical clinics with the same complaint.
    Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.

    The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

    The second sees the family doctor after waiting a week for an appointment, then waits eighteen weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another month and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then.

    Why the different treatment for the two patients?

    The first is a Golden Retriever.....

    The second is a Senior Citizen.
    When Was The Last Time,You Did Something For The First Time.

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