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Thread: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

  1. #3621
    Addicted Abhisek's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    1 badshah apne sipahiyo ke sath ek
    talab par nahane ke liye gaya waha
    kuch ladkiya pehle se naha rahi thi
    badshah ki sawari aate dekh wo sari
    bahar aa gayi unme se ek ladki
    badshah ko pasand aa gayi..!!
    Badshah apne mahel wapas
    aaya,lekin badshah ki nazro ke
    samne bar bar usi ladki ki surat aa
    rahi thi,uska mann kisi kaam me
    nahi lag raha tha,raat hui sari raat
    badshah usi ladki ke bare me sochta
    raha,subah usne apne sipahiyo ko
    hukm diya jao pata karo wo ladki
    kaha rehti hai,sipahiyo ne pata
    lagaya,
    Uss ladki ka baap sunaar tha,
    badshah ne sunaar ko darbar me
    bulaya.
    4 din guzarne k baad bhi sunar
    badshah k darbar me nahi
    aya,badshah ne dubara bulawa
    bheja,is bar 8 din guzar gaye wo
    nahi aaya,badshah ko gussa aa gaya
    aur usne sunar ko giraftar karne k
    liye Sipahi bheje.
    Jab woh Sunar k ghar pahuche to
    ghar ko Tala laga hua tha,
    Badshah ne Sipahiyon ko Hukm diya
    ki Sunaar ko dhundo.
    Sipahiyo ne sunar ko har jagah
    dhunda lekin wo unko kahi nhi mila.
    Fir unhone ek tarkeeb nikali aur
    ailaan kiya ke jo bhi sunaar ko
    dhundne me madat karega use 1kg
    sona diya jayega.ek hafta guzar
    gaya,
    Fir bhi sunaar nahi mila.
    Fir ailaan kiya gaya ki jo bhi sunaar
    ko chupne me madat karega use
    sooli pe chadaya jayega.aur ek hafta
    guzar gaya,
    Fir bhi sunaar nahi mila.
    Fir 1 mahina guzar gya fir bhi sunar
    nhi mila
    Fir raja ne ailaan kiya ki agar sunar
    nhi mila toh woh pure rajya ko saja
    dega fir bhi sunar nahi mila.
    Aakhir mei raja ne aas paas ke kahi
    rajyo ke raja o se madat maangi,
    Unhone bhi sunar ko apne apne
    rajya mei dhoonda fir sunar nhi
    mila.
    Badshah mayus ho gaya,ek din
    badshah ne ek sapna dekha sapne
    me usi taalab ko dekha aur sapne
    me hi daud kar us taalab ke pas
    gaya lekin waha bhi koi nahi
    tha,udas hokar jab piche palta to ek
    gyani baba nazar aaye unhone nadi
    ko lag kar ek jhopde ki taraf ishara
    kiya aur kaha tujhe jiski talash hai
    wo wahi hai,badshah chaunk kar
    nind se utha aur apne sipahiyo ko
    lekar us talab ke pas gaya,waha wo
    sapne wala jhopda use nazar
    aaya,badshah khush ho gaya,aur jab
    jhopde me ghusa to ek ladki aur aur
    ek boodha aadmi nazar aaye,lekin
    wo ladki badsurat thi aur uska baap
    bhikhari tha.
    Ab bhi sunar nahi mila,
    Aakhir kar tang aakar badshah ne
    apne sipahiyo ko Nakara karar diya
    aur case CBI ko saunp diya,
    Phir bhi SUNAR nahi MILA,
    Aur aakhir Raja ka,uske siphaiyon
    ka,dusre rajya walo ka aur CBI walo
    ka Sunar ko dhundne me sara Waqt
    aise barbad hua jaise Aap ka is
    message ko padhne me hua...
    jis ka koi matlab nahi.
    Hasna mat, mere sath bhi aisa hua
    tha..!!
    kisi aur ko bhej ke badla le lo! 😛
    Sunar mil jae to bata dena ushki
    ladki bahut khubsurat hai ..!!
    Sent from my GT-I9070 using xBhp Connect mobile app
    sumitro_d and hgps like this.

  2. #3622
    Moderator B7ACKTHORN's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    Why blood, ah! same plood.

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    Cheers!
    VJ
    Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
    The girl said, 'NO!'


    And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


    THE END

  3. #3623
    Searching... snehithpereira's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    Dropping BOMBS

    A dentist a nurse and a army general are flying.
    The dentist decides to drop a tooth brush out of the plane. The nurse drops down a medical kit and the army general drops a bomb.
    They land the airplane and see what happened...
    First they found a guy looking for his false teeth.
    Next they found a guy bandaging his wounds.
    Lastly they found a young boy laughing his head off.
    They asked him what happened and he said, "My grandfather farted and blew up his house."


    -------------------------

    Hillary in heaven

    Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, "What are all those clocks?"

    Saint Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
    Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.

    "Oh," said Hillary, "whose clock is that?"

    "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie."

    "Whose clock is that?"

    "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life."

    "Where's Bill's clock?" Hillary asked.

    "Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

    --------------------

    No Great Loss

    Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy."

    "No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."

    A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside...that would be a tragedy."

    "I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."

    The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.

    "What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

    Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton was blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy."

    "Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"

    "Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"

  4. #3624
    Keyboard Warrior chaosaddict's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    I don't want to live in planet anymore!!


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    BENEATH THE REMAINS.........
    Instagram - chaosaddict666 (follow for atypical uploads on heavy metal, bikes, alcohol, chakna, life, fashion yada, yada)
    YouTube - chaosaddict666 (Disclaimer: crappiest uploads ever, viewer discretion is advised)

  5. #3625
    psr
    psr is offline
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    When Was The Last Time,You Did Something For The First Time.

  6. #3626
    Moderator B7ACKTHORN's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    How Morgan Freeman would explain....

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    Cheers!
    VJ
    Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
    The girl said, 'NO!'


    And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


    THE END

  7. #3627
    psr
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...



    When Was The Last Time,You Did Something For The First Time.

  8. #3628
    Rusted rreneav1987's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...





    Sent from my Spice Mi-530 using Tapatalk 4
    Anurag_ likes this.
    Splendor - 2k to 2006
    Karizma - 2k3 to 2009
    P180 - 2k6 to 2k9
    Hunk - Oct 2k7 til now
    ZMR - 2010 to Forever
    RX135(2k) - 2013 to 2018
    Ninja 250R (2010) - 2016 til now
    RayZ - 2015 til now
    Ninja 650 (2014) - 2017 til now


    Delhi to Narkanda
    Delhi to Coimbatore
    Delhi to Nepal

  9. #3629
    Rusted
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    I am back!

  10. #3630
    Rusted devils_friend's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

    A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

    The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.They agreed it was.

    The professor next picked up a box of sand and oured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes'.

    The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

    'Now,'said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

    The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

    The sand is everything else---the small stuff.

    'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

    'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents.
    Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18.There will always be time to clean the house and fix the
    disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

    One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented.

    The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'

    The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _____

    True?

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    For all the resolution makers :P

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    Undeniable fact.

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    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ___________________________________

    This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

    The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her
    husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

    He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not
    all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....

    FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
    rreneav1987, psr, AmoghDox and 6 others like this.
    The real beauty lies in throttle's twist!!

    Headlight can be replaced, Head cannot be. Wear a helmet.

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