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Thread: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

  1. #5381
    Rusted frankpilli's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    Identify these species

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    ryan.virgo likes this.
    Biker of the Year -2013

    1987 Yamaha RD-350-B
    2009 Pulsar 220 DTS-Fi
    2017 aprilia SR 150

  2. #5382
    Rusted Iam_Hoodi_CBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    Snardosaur(snake+lizard+dinosaur) :-o

  3. #5383
    Rookie rideon74's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    GOD asks Santa: "Now that you are old, you have to choose either Parkinson's disease (haath kaapna) or Alzheimer's (yaadaast khona) as punishment for your karma in this life."

    Santa goes to Banta who advises him to choose Parkinson and says, "Its better to spill half glass of whiskey than to forget where the bottles are kept."

    Santa hugs Banta.

    That's what friends are for ! 🍷
    - ​When Life throws you a curve, Lean into it! -

  4. #5384
    Rookie rideon74's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    No father has ever explained the importance of Studies in such a awesome way to his son :

    With every wrong answer that you write in your exam paper, your future honeymoon shifts from Switzerland to Thailand to Goa to Ooty to Mysore to Hotel Annapoorna or a relative's house or under the ceiling fan at your wife's house.
    prateek2210, psr, max007 and 1 others like this.
    - ​When Life throws you a curve, Lean into it! -

  5. #5385
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    Read this on a bike's rear mudguard a few months ago:

    "Mom says no racing, I only do Chori, Chori!"

    I guess he was attempting some sort of pun

    Have also read lots of stuff like:

    "Dad's gift"
    "Mom's gift"
    etc.

    Kinda looks out of place IMO.

    Also a bit off topic but saw "4X4" written behind an auto rickshaw!!!
    ryan.virgo likes this.
    Blood, Sweat and Gears - Enough Said.

  6. #5386
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    A recently divorced women advertised:
    Male needed with three qualities.
    1) He must not beat me and respect women.
    2) He would not run away and leave me.
    3) He must be a fantastic lover.

    Few days later her door bell rings.
    She opens the door and finds no one on the door. She shuts the door back.
    Few moments later door bell rings again. She opens the door again and finds no one on the door. She shuts it again.
    Then just when she's about to sit her door bell rings again. She rushes to the door with anger and opens it. This time she looks around and finds a man without hands and lags standing on the door step looking up at her with a smile on his face.
    Shouting down on his face she asks "what do you want?"
    He replies "madam you advertised for a man with three qualities. I have no hands so I won't be able to beat you and I respect women. I have no legs so there is no question of running away."

    Women says " that I can see but there is one more condition, din you read the advertisement?"
    He replies " of-course madam I read it."
    Women "if you did, you shouldn't be here"
    Man "I am a fantastic lover madam. You see I rang the door bell, din i..."
    Last edited by bavlo; 03-14-2017 at 04:59 PM.
    accuengineer and TheArcher84 like this.

  7. #5387
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    Quote Originally Posted by bavlo View Post
    A recently divorced women advertised:
    Male needed with three qualities.
    1) He must not beat me and respect women.
    2) He would not run away and leave me.
    3) He must be a fantastic lover.

    Few days later her door bell rings.
    She opens the door and finds no one on the door. She shuts the door back.
    Few moments later door bell rings again. She opens the door again and finds no one on the door. She shuts it again.
    Then just when she's about to sit her door bell rings again. She rushes to the door with anger and opens it. This time she looks around and finds a man without hands and lags standing on the door step looking up at her with a smile on his face.
    Shouting down on his face she asks "what do you want?"
    He replies "madam you advertised for a man with three qualities. I have no hands so I won't be able to beat you and I respect women. I have no legs so there is no question of running away."

    Women says " that I can see but there is one more condition, din you read the advertisement?"
    He replies " of-course madam I read it."
    Women "if you did, you shouldn't be here"
    Man "I am a fantastic lover madam. You see I rang the door bell, din i..."
    lol...haha, oh man, it just took a second for me to understand how he rang the bell, sure he would be a fantastic lover for her
    "If you care enough for a result,you will most certainly attain it."

  8. #5388
    Rookie rideon74's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    These made me crack up!



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    sanjaynk15 and WindPacer like this.
    - ​When Life throws you a curve, Lean into it! -

  9. #5389
    Rusted Ankey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    Two guys were walking to wards parking area when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
    The second guy replied, "Well, I was walking alone yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She parked the bike, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
    The first one nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

    ----consecutive posts auto-merged-----


    Son - Dad, what is the meaning of gay?
    Father - It means 'to be happy'.

    Son - So dad, are you gay?
    Father - No dear, I have a wife.
    Last edited by Ankey; 04-03-2017 at 09:45 PM.
    psr and rideon74 like this.
    I would like to thank my legs for supporting me, my arms for being always by my side and my fingers; I could always count on them.

  10. #5390
    Rookie rideon74's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    Finally, the Husbands' point of view:

    At last a Husband has gathered the courage and taken the time to write down all of these.

    We always hear "the rules" from the Wife's side.

    Now here are the rules from the husband's side.

    These are our rules! Please note..
    These are all numbered "1" because each one is as important as the others !!!

    1. Husbands ARE not mind readers.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Neither do Strong hints! Obvious hints never! Our wiring does not take them!! Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

    1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

    1. If you already know best how to do it, please just do it yourself.

    1. When I am seeing tv, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Like Pumpkin! We have no idea what mauve or lavender is.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, cars, bikes or games or page 3 pyts.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. U r in shape..... Round IS also a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    ------------
    Last edited by rideon74; 03-25-2017 at 03:25 PM.
    fullmoon, psr, sarada06884 and 2 others like this.
    - ​When Life throws you a curve, Lean into it! -

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