Ranbanka

Here’s the complete unabridged version of Two 24 year old “Executives” ride to the unexplored MOUNTAIN COUNTRY OF KERALA - PALAKKAD

My Bike --CBZ
Kakki -- Enticer

Hmmm I begin with the first day,,, Chennai – Two Research Analysts - lots of hopes expectations and two weeks of planning right from the time of departure to exact time of return,,but then plans r good only in paper,, its Wednesday Oct 1, 2003, i had a total of 4 rupees in my bank account and we were supposed to leave by 5:00 pm for pondicherry,, harassed our HR guy the whole day for salary,,,n then suddenly the weekly team meet was called and I as usual started blabbering my expert comments in the meeting abt whats wrong and what shud be done,, at the same time the other joker kakki ,, was lying to Olympus guys that we r makin a website and it will excellent promotion for their cameras,,(his brand new Olympus camera was given for repairin!!). Anyways money arrives in bank at the nick of time,, kakki has already escaped the office at 4 and goes with stars in his eyes to collect a camera promised by Olympus people. I go to collect my bike and his,,meanwhile kakki the fool left his mobile at my place so there is no contact between us now,, and he doesn’t know my mobile no.,,, its already 6:30 no sign of kakki,, around 7 he calls from my landlords place,,both of us shouting at each other simultaneously over the phone,,my mom also calls the phone goes dead no battery,,so I go to my house walkin to find kakki nowhere,, come back to the shop,, kakki’s scared I might call of the trip already its 7:30,,anyways Olympus people give him the oldest cameras they cud find. We start off finally at 10!! 5 hours away from scheduled departure,, we go for the national highway route to salem (40kms shorter than East Coast road-bad decision) national highway traffic’s like some morning rush hour at 10:30 in the night,, meanwhile the traffic is mind blowing,,luckily there are dividers so we r able to do 100s,,doin stunts and getting kicks out of scaring truckies and bus drivers by cutting and swerving,,,again the interruptions continue,,kaun hai deemag kharab kar raha hai,, I finally stop and pick up the phone,,”hellloooo sweetooo I’m very scared,, I’m getting hysterical…blah blaah blaah,” I lie and say that traffic’s cool such a peaceful ride hehe,, but the caller is not satisfied,, my patience is runnin out,,kakki also has run me out by few kms….after a few kms the divider goes,,n it’s a free for all bout,,whoever is the most daring gets to go ahead,, its like a night at some “day n night who dares win” show on the highway,, first we r scared,,then the mayhem starts furious overtakin,, “crazed truckies n bus drivers comin,, guts r growin,, thats y we are rollin” ( copied from Dr. Dre hehe) we reach villipuram,,the place where the mayhem finally ends after 120 kms, and we move on,,keep hammerin at the miles,, I loose kakki think that he’s taken another route and hope that he calls to enquire,,he appears from nowhere,,says that he was looking at some good babe in a bus at the rail crossing who was “supposedly” looking back at him,,,,anyway our first stop,,, After a town the road goes empty totally,,brand new road n we push the limits,,it keeps goin on we keeppushin,,then take a stop at a teastall,,,its 3:30 in the morning we have done 200 kms,,good coverage,,meet another gang of idiots headed to ooty at the teastall ,,they r over awed by our bikes and adventurisms ,,ask us our complete history,,they tell theirs,, ask em abt a place to stay they say just ten kms ahead,,oka they shake our hands and push off as if we were some stars (or that’s what we perceived of our image in that remote place) we come to a town there’s a lodge,,kakki sees that its locked the care takers r asleep,,he goes n enquires from police guys in an adjacent restaurant,, early morning life is different,,everyone’s helpful cos everyone’s scared of each other,, anyways the police guys send one of their chamchas to wake up the guys at the lodge,,he bangs furiously at the metal doors,,a groggy fool comes he gives a few gaalis to the hotel guy,, the groggo grumbles and gives us our room 100 bucks we say waah waah,,

I take bath in chillin water n sleep,,, first day over at 4:30 am…..

Plans to get goin at 6 but wake up at 9 get ready have dosas in hotel opposite to the place,, everyone looking at us as if aliens have landed (that was the case everywhere we went),,, We move on,,kakki’s bike is behaving ****,,gulpin petrol as if there’s no tomorrow…we go back to the town for petrol…move on to Salem,, we r totally refreshed the rising hills are in view,, gives a feelin that mountain country is comin,,me havin a good ride,,dancing on the bike,,showin my fist to some small truckies overtakin n comin towards me and kakki in the opposite lane,, three four guys sittin in the cabin laugh at me,, we reach salem,,20 kms and we stop for lunch at 2,,,amazing food,, ,,we give some toffees to two small kids barely 4 years old working at the dhaba,,they r overjoyed,, no stops anymore we move on to coimbatore the traffic’s less the road’s pretty fast,, we reach coimbatore in the evening,,buy camera reels from a guy who tells us that the area we intend to go is very “rough” ( we still laugh at that guy) the confusion starts,, ,,The numbers r mentioned wrong in outlook traveler’s holiday in the hills,,its getting dark,,we r loosing our patience,,no way to go,,search the net for the numbers for over an hour no luck,, the net guy’s tryin to help us like crazy he’s also overawed,,calls his friends too to know the route,,it’s a shame these guys live 60 kms from silent valley n they don’t know the route,,,,all numbers engaged or wrong,,,finally kakki uses his kopf and somehow gets the number from his roomies,,luckily we ask a guy who knows where we r headed we just have to go just another 30 kms and go straight till we reach it,,we move on buy some cheap raincoats (a purchase I regretted till the end of the journey),,keep movin,,its starts to rain violently,,we duck for cover in a gift shop,,kakki finds a costlier raincoat but a wise purchase,,anyway we enter mountain country,,,there’s a gate that is opened for us,,me a bit scared but try not to show it,,as soon as we cross the gate I’m looking at some wildlife institution on the left side,,the road’s goin down,,,out of nowhere a truck comes roarin towards me,,instead of braking I put my right foot down and go to the corner of the road,,kakki’s havin fun at my expense,, all ideas of robbery dacoity comin,,not a soul (that’s becos of incorrect preconceived notions),,but we can sense the scenery,,its pitch dark but all around us are green mountains,,can see them rising towards the sky,,,its spooky and that’s what a real adventure feels like,(when I’ve never been in that kind of a situation),,,,we keep movin thru the lonely hills,,a handful of vehicles pass in the whole drive,,but then as our apprehensions were rising due to no lights in the area cos of rain,, we ask a few villagers for directions to a destination called agali..the people r normal,,nobody seems to be “rough”,,we reach the town and ask where is the town agali?? they say we r standing in it,,and right behind them stands our “new aroma lodge”(wonder the reasoning behind the brand name),, I smile from one ear to another,,it felt as an oasis,,home sweet home,,we go in a if we just won a battle,,
Go n call my babe, then suddenly the phone goes bang,,I come out thinking that I’ve survived a lightning bolt which gave a wild electric bolt to my hand and ear,, ,,the guys outside r sweet and laughin without any amazement cos it’s a normal thing I guess in this part of the world.

People here, like all of rural India r too sweet,,very happy even though they don’t have much,,but then I guess that’s what they say that in order to be happy u shud always make do with less, expect less, and be content with less things in life,, everyone knows each other,,its too stress free out here,,city life is ****,, full of the “**** ya” crowd,,here everyone’s drinkin the best nilgiri tea without milk,,old guys running away with a kid’s cap,,kid’s running after him in the rain,,all lungi wearin ultra cool malyalis,, malyalis are real happy go lucky people,,they have certain lightness attached to them,,kind of broad minded too,,not too much into petty stuff,,anyways we take bath in the freezing mountain water…kakki and me have food,,in the meantime kakki calls his new found love who he hasn’t seen as yet…I call mummy n tell her the bus ride was cool,,

Sleep

Plans to go early morning trek,,wake up at 6,, very excited….

look out of the window and we see heaven for the first time,,fog fog fog on mountains everywhere,,very cool chill in the morning,, too fresh to be true,,the world was supposed to be like this only,, capitalism is the not the right answer…something else has to be innovated,,, I’ve just forgotten life can be this simple and clean too,,,,, but all that was not on my mind then,, all we could think of was to get out fast,,had breaki,,cool stuff,, appams and chana,,amazing tea,,the cook is one coolio,,I’m wearin a t-shirt and the sweat shirt over it and he’s wearin just a loongi with a cigarette in his mouth,,cool guy..wud’ve given travolta a run for his money

We take off on one bike with the camera and jackets in hand,,kakki’s bike eatin too much of fuel…the fool didn’t give the bike for servicing at the right time….

We stop with 100 metres of ridin the scenery is just too good,, unbelievable,, kakki and me go down near a stream and take the first pic,,which came out to be totally absurd when I saw it today…but now I remember it was the first pic and we were laughin and wonderin “what photu what art what ****”,, anyway back to the scenery,, the smell of fresh rain on leaves is everywhere,, its indescribable,, soul’s levitating,, that’s y those old freaks headed to the hills to do tapasya and **** cos the environment itself is a stimulant for higher things,,,we move on awe struck by the green beauty around us,, early mornin sun’s rays out too,, too good,, too good,, snap a few more pics,,few jeep drivers bathin in the stream itself,, music blarin from their jeeps,, we move on,, there’s an amazing high quality hotel/lodge just around the corner over looking a valley this would have been the best place to stay,, anyways next time,,, we go thru the winding turns askin our way,,we find people sittin on the road itself cos they don’t expect vehicles,,sweet people everywhere but all starin like mad ****ers as we r aliens to them,, we take pics of two kids,,the first one’s too good looking but very shy,,,gets conscious when I tell him to smile,, take a pic of another kid who’s maybe just 10 years and wearin a loongi like a pro,,we go ahead thru the wonderful scenery,, “greenery greenery everywhere not a grain of sand to eat”. We reach the village mukkali before silent valley finally,, just 30 kms but more than heaven in that 30,, actually the last place before silent valley, the forest guys tell us its gonna cost us 600 in total for the jeep and the guide,,long treks are not possible cos its takes minimum a day and then 6:00 the gates close so comin back is not possible,,jeep shud start back for mukkalli by 4:30 from silent valley which is 22 kms from mukkali,,after talking for some time our driver and guide arrives,,I blabber out like a fool that pls get us a guide who speaks English or hindi,,not realisin that he was standing beside us,,but he’s a sweet guy,,though a bit commercial cos it’s a business for him,,we plead for longer trek than the proposed walk about in our plans,,the police guy has some mercy seeing that we came from Chennai on bikes,, explains in malyali to the guide,, but I cud understand cos he uses the word excited,, must be telling them that these jokers are excited so pls take them a bit further than the stipulated tour,,off we go to the valley of our dreams-silent ****in valley, wonder if the animals don’t make noises while havin sex too,,or maybe they use silencers….

The ride starts,,the place is like the programmes in national geographic,,the road’s made of stones,,winding around the most thick forests I’ve ever seen in my life,,nature is all over powering and I succumb to it,,sittin and admiring the beauty of it all from the jeep,,kakki’s jammin me in cos he’s got the seat on the outside to take pics,,but I’m enjoying it anyways,, kakki’s lost his head over the place he’s all gaga takin pics in the movin vehicles,,wannabe national geographic photographer,,hehe he’s gonna read this, so **** u kakki,,hope u burn in hell mother****er,,,take some good pics of the devil and send them for enlarging down here,,

It had rained heavily the previous night here,, so there are fallen trees all over,, our guide jumps out now and then to cut and clear the fallen branches and trees. The journey is an eye opener to the wonders of a gone era,, all this seems to be a luxury now,, the driver’s pretty cool too,, says there is maal goin in the bus ahead,,wonder how the hell a bus cud go thru these stoned pathway,,our CBZwud have been better,,but there r wild animals around too,,so its better in the jeep,, but the mall turns out to be plain simple college babes on a college picnic,, the driver speaks a bit of Hindi too. After a while the greenery becomes an excess, I’m waiting for silent valley to come..it comes finally and we go to the office people,, there’s a huge tower constructed here to look at the lengths n breadths of silent valley in all directions. But the peace is spoilt by those college people who r shouting and screaming from the towers,, ,, as if they r in an amusement park,,we escape as fast as we can,, initially we walk along with school kids,, who r all hyper cos it’s a totally different world from their school environments,, stuck in an ordered world solely concentrated on academics,, teacher’s pets r also around the teachers helping out some stupid teachers who cant descend a simple steep patch,, peer pressure’s all around,, the tallest and toughest leads the bunch of kids,, another tyrant who’s supported by scared chamchas,, freedom’s hard to understand. The system will always be like this,, Floyd’s song just an anthem to a few who realize its real,, all in all u justa anotha brick in the mutha ****a wall.
We come to the bridge where the trek is officially supposed to end,, but our guide informs us abt that and gives a wink n says that “pls take care of the tip cos I’m takin ya ahead”,,not his fault maybe,, most tourists r like that,, make someone work their ass off and pay nothing,, but wud pay loads for jewellery and property,, third world characteristics(learnt it in economics hehe)

Anyway enough of bickering back to the hanging bridges of silent valley,, the bridge is shakin my heart aint shakin cos I’ve seen the depth and tell kakki who’s wide eyed at the scenery that even If we fall it don’t matter cos the water is deep enough to save us from getting hurt,, but kakki’s a fool and doesn’t know how to swim,, tch tch… basics….. anyway we start climbing it’s getting tougher as we keep climbin,, I realize the route is one which is usually described in travel sites,, butterflies all around bunched and huddled up in long grasses, suddenly the climb’s getting tougher,, and I ask when its gonna end,, but keep walkin,, we come across to heavily built guys comin from the opp direction without a guide, both put up a smile but cant hide their fear,, put them alone in a jungle and their character comes out,, guide enquires abt their identity,, I take the opportunity to sit and hav our chocolates,, guide is kinda embarrassed takin it from us,, good trait of Indians or people everywhere,, feelin conscious when starngers offer them favors,, take out my vitamin tabs and they prove to be a killer to the loss in energy,, the climb’s eased out,, we keep movin the jungle’s becoming darker and then when the hunger was at its peak guidey finds a fallen amla,, he offers me but I refuse out of manners taught by mama,, gives to kakki the fool who accepts its like a greedy monkey,, not his fault,, he has to evolve to a human,, which will take millions of years,,

,, we move and now it’s a real tropical evergreen forest,, its dark and getting darker,, very mystic,, fogs comin in too on the mountain,, but we just see the darkness cos of the longest dark green trees I’ve ever seen in my life,, this is the real Schwarz wald,, I blabber out “Misty moutain top” to kakki who thinks its an original word,, doesn’t know abt LED ZEP,,, but I recreate the world Led Zep tried to create only in dreams,, I guess Misty mountain hop is abt the so called middle earth where the power of the ring or whatever **** resides in lord of the rings,,

I’m in mountain country now,, huge trees fallen here n there,, middle of the path too. Realize that its good for a fabricated walk thru a trail made for tourist but ya put a guy in here alone the mutha ****a will die in a few days,, but the corporate world is again an extension of nature,, we just primal fools thinking we smart enough,,just re-enacting the same **** there,,,u don’t need blair witch projects the animals or the jungle itself will kill ya,, meanwhile the leeches keep stickin to the socks and shoes,, I start flickin them off don’t care if they die,, those mutha ****as deserve to die cos they harmin me and I aint doin anything to them,, would’ve left them in any other place but this is the jungle any other animal wud’ve come I wud’ve done the same,, wherever u see there are paths leading to some place,, I envy salim ali( the walkin dictionary of birds,, he played a big part in the preservation of this park,, which was supposed to be converted into a submerged piece of **** under water,, just becos some IAS asshole from the planning department decided to use his imagination and his intellect and make a dam somewhere ahead of this forest) but back to ali,, he roamed these forests day in and day out studying the stunning variety of birds found here,, surprisingly in the whole mutha ****a trip to silent valley including the jeep ride I just saw a few mutha ****a local dogs and two black monkeys,, ( apart from that one monkey was permanently sitting with me),,, we move ahead,, the path is cleared up,, we come across a stream guide drinks water,, and says we can drink too,, its too good to be true,, no pesticides no nothing,, just clean natural water,,don’t know where the **** it came from,, but cant be completely pollution free I guess in this world….anyway my narcissistic attitude comes out wet my hair and tell the guide to take a fabricated pic of ours sittin on rocks in the stream tryin to look as if the photo was a natural,, but fake mutha ****as never succeed cos the fotu never came out,, maybe the guide never pressed the button and now we understand,, anyway I say “we move ahead?” he says no back to the park,, he says sofort mein camaraden and I lead the pack start running,, take a few pics and we thot that these will be award winning fotus but sadly the beauty was never captured exactly on the camera,,

But then these are memorable times,, y is it that beauty always stays,, that year in my early years on earth in wellington is unforgettable,, then r all the rest of them wasted years?? Not their time in tears?? Been too long in darkness,, with the trial of tears ( hehehehehe u think I’m that original?? **** ya,, that’s dream theater u fool)



But dreamtheater is all I can sing the whole day from the time I started my bike in the morning towards misty mountain hop,,,the spirit carries on keeps humming in my mind,, guess the most powerful song alongwith surrounded,,, “y r we here?? where do we come from?? Where do we go from here?? They say life is too short,, the here and the now… but I know now for sure,, that after we r gone the…. The spirit carries onnnnnn……….
N If I die tomorrow
I'd be all right
Because I believe
That after we're gone
The spirit carries on
I don’t actually believe that **** but I believe in parallel universes, anyway the song is good and matches the occasion,, I switch on to sleeping satellite,,, I blame u for the moonlit sky,,, the stars that shine

Ok ok we come back to silent valley,, I’m running running running,, they r not able to catch up with me,, I hear loud shouts again,, feel that the school or college guys entered the forbidden forests too,, its just a bunch of bangaloreans on a trip,, everyone’s more decked up in nike’s and accompanying ****,, we aint surprised to see em but I think they were,, checkin us out if we r cool enough,, I break the ice and ask the guy where’s he from,, “Bangalore” ok,, how many days?? “two” I stop asking he’s still checking us out… a few loudmouths,, stupid giggling girls,, bunch of sissies,,,dropping stupid wise cracks here n there,, the group mentality people -for the mutha ****in common good,, we r delayed by them crossing one by one the fallen tree in the path,, a guy is with a babe at the back….seemingly helping her out but in reality wants more than that,,,, anyway we go on now I’m getting tired of the running,, I start running fast downhill,,my legs r getting a beating,,, ,,remind kakki the unaware fool to give money to guide,, anyway we do reach the hanging bridges of silent valley where all the shouting and screaming can be heard all college people bathing in the water n polluting it,, kakki regains his senses and goes n gives the money and is dropping notes without realizing,, the climb starts again, its unbearable now,, mind and body says stop,, but still carry on,,its like Spiegel one part says go other says stop….just abt when the legs are abt to give away,, the forest dept’s homes come in sight,,,aah silent valley over,,,.we climb slowly up the tower and look around the beau scenery,,,take a few pics too,,

We sit back in the jeep n off we go,,, suddenly the whole xperience starts seeping in,, the forbidden jungle has done the magic I came to seek unknowingly,, now I’m sitting alone in the front seat,, thoughts of my babe revolving all around me,, she’s omnipresent,, my oxygen,,I don’t care anymore of anyone coming between us now,,I’ve found what I’ve been looking for,, I decide to bring our kids to these places,, and cranberry ringin in my head………”these worlds are ours and the daffodils look lovely today”….,, the whole drive everyone’s quite n I can concentrate on my love,, one life,,one love,,.,,suddenly is that predator running around in the jungles of silent valley,, two jet black monkeys are jumpin around trees and are scared of us,, they don’t give kakki an opportunity to click pics of them,,

We reach the base of town mukkalli the starting point of our journey into silent valley,,,its starting to rain,, my thoughts go away n we r very grateful to the police and the forest officials.

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world
---I guess that’s Armstrong’s song???

We wear our raincoats,, its raining heavy,, but its welcome cos our throats were parched,, the bike refuses to start,, guess due to the pounding taken since Chennai,, there’s a release of positive energy,, I start revving the bike in the rain,, swaying the bike around,, curious villagers look at us and r wide eyed,, I compare myself to max biaggi and now both of us r laughing gregariously,, the atmosphere is too refreshing,, greenery everywhere and pure rain droplets,, we ask for directions and go the other way and come to know that this route is shorter than the one we took in morning,, all of a sudden there’s fog and mist on the road,, kakki takes a pic but that didn’t come finally,, all of the good ones didn’t come out,, we have some close calls from oncoming vehicles on blind turns,, but the scene’s too light,, and we move along the path, green mountains and plateaus on the left side,, shoes r all wet now,, we come across an old tribal who’s walkin along the road and I see that he’s carrying bows and arrows,, I ask kakki he didn’t see him carry anything,, we decide maybe we could buy a bow and arrow from him,, take a u-turn and go back to him,, he’s scared of us puts on a scared smile,, its all very lonely here,, very few people around,,I see that he has just one bow, for personal use most probably,, so I ask him the way so that he doesn’t get a bad perception of tourists, his relief is evident he says keep goin straight,,

We reach agali faster than expected cos it’s a short cut,, I recognize the village by the loafer donkey that I’ve seen roaming around since the day before,, the crack creature was shouting like a buffoon in the morning,, we see our hotel,, dinesh is smiling from top,,asks us abt the place?we r surprised he hasn’t been there as yet,, maybe its to expensive for him,, we start packing its already 4 and we better reach mannarkad by 6 pm so that we can enjoy the scenery,, read in outlook holiday in the hills that the unexplored hills of northern pallakad are a delight to drive by,, (they proved to be the peak rush of adrenaline in our trip ,,, more on that later)) we start packing its taking longer,, shoes r soggy,, my raincoats gone,, so we do some innovations,,, as ya all mutha ****as know necessity is the mother ****all of innovations,, pin up the jacket and wear it ulta,, no socks no problemo,,we wear polythene bags on our feet,, take pics in the weird dresses,, looking like fancy dress jokers,, we go about, take our bag and zoom for the northern heights of mountain country,, its stopped raining,, kakki gets some fuel in his petrol gulping Enticer,, we go on some local fools r fighting in the middle of the road,, a bus driver and jeep drivers,,. The scenery’s too good kakki cant resist we start stopping here n there take lotsa pics,, one of them my favs,, lush green paddy fields with fog covering the entire hill near the field,, we go on , I just look right towards the scenery and see a beautiful sight thru a small opening,, in the far distance a church towering out of the green forests and a few mountains in the background,,” what a wonderful world” its all dream like here,, sadly that pic also didn’t come out,, on the way we encounter two workmen we saw in the fields in the morning,, we wave at them they too,, we reach mukkali back again (it means fountainhead of two paths-one leading to silent valley the other goin to mannarkad,,must be more to the name cos the roads were built maybe just 50 years back)..


we move towards mannarkad,, its raining lightly,,

don’t remember how the route started,, remember it was dusk and then we enter them ---

DARK FORBIDDEN FORESTS OF MOUNTAIN COUNTRY,, ,,,we keep takin off our helmets and start exchanging our excitement,, this is real adventure,, its raining,, getting darker and suddenly we r in dark forests,, trees all around us,, trees touching the sky,, this is silent valley out in the open without anyone protecting its borders,, this is peak performance by nature,, Mercedes formula one team says the road to perfection never ends ,, so can there be anything much more than this,, donno,, anyways this is beyond images and words,, to top it all the fog comes in,, visibility is hardly 2 metres,, ,, I tell kakki to lead cos my bike aint got a horn,, kakki leads but is finding it difficult to figure out the road direction,, a land slide just happened,, huge rocks lying on the road,, that gives a scare and makes us realize we r right up and square face to face with the elements,, there’s no protection no mercy just survival,, few big trees also fallen none directly on the road,, the drive is getting more exotic by the moment,, we do countless hair pins,, cant see the plains cant see whats two metres ahead,, plains r almost in the other galaxy,, the song comes to my mind ”Riders of the storm””all this excess is too much for us to take,, kakki stops has a good idea,, tells me to go down and start comin up towards him so that he can take a pic of the lights coming up thru the fog,, we try it two three times,, he finally manages to take one,, but the best photo of the trip never came out sadly,, maybe becos of the dark conditions,, two fools pass on a bike,, the one on the back seat screams,, maybe he was too scared to see us and the n realized we were harmless released his tension by screaming at us,,, same for us we were screaming and yelling and did countless yahoos as the whole thing overwhelmed us,, kakki’s leading good,, we keep turning and twisting,, wishing it never ends,,that was some dream stuff,, the fog,, the lights trying to find our way down and the thick dark black forest and hard rain to top all that,, a total of 4 vehicles passed in the whole descent,,we come out of it like bats out of a dark mysterious forests… comfortably proclaiming that it was the best ride of our lives,,,
,, a guy tells us to keep moving we reach mannarkad fully drenched,, I ask a guy waiting for a bus for a hotel,, blabbers something and we go off in that direction,, we see a good place and check in, ,, an adjacent restaurant owner of our age enquires abt us,, he also has the same bike as mine,, just 100 bucks, all our hotels costed exactly that amount,,,I go off and get some good sandals ,, kakki does the same,, we go out looking for a bar to celebrate the ride,, its 1.5kms away and reject it cos its raining and we don’t have any money too,, no ATM here,, kakki and I fight for the umbrella, the food is what we wanted and its great after all that.
Now we r solid tired,, its just 10 and after doin a 14 km trek and countless up and down hill bike and jeep rides,, energy levels have disappeared but a wholesome satisfaction is around,,,

Wake up at 8 in the morning, get ready by 9,, getting late as usual,, we have our breakfasts. Big day ahead, we have to go to the highest peak in Kerala,, start off for pallakad,, the road’s beautiful,, gives us a view of the churches, convents and Kerala culture,, reminds me of my convent school in Wellington,, very orderly very strict,, no use this is fit to be called the Caribbean islands,, we see a sign leading to dhoni falls,, when we reach there some 10 kms away,, a group of young men says we need a pass from forest officials cos it’s a reserve or some **** he blabbers,,, that does it we go back,, kakki takes a few pics,, we reach pallakad and kakki finds the yamaha showroom to get his bike checked no problem,, again guys are curious,, they ask kakki abt our trip,, he asks how does he find Kerala,, kakki uses the clichéd line ”gods own ****ing country”,, all laugh simultaneously,, he says u come down south we go up in holidays,, kakki’s bike is ready ,,we ask for ATMs, a nearby shop keeper tells us that there’s another atm n if u have visa on ur card then it wont be a problem,, our common sense was missing till then on that point,, no lateral thinking powers,, so we ask the directions and it happens to be on the way to nelliampathy,, mt. everest of Kerala,,we take out another sum of money,, fearing that our planned shoe string trip is turning into a prada shoe string trip. in the meantime I’m in the mood for some change in helmets,, take it off and wear my black bandana n my black raybans,, which completes us as typical tourists,, people to be stared at,, now no power in the world can stop me from conquering Mt. keverest,,, we ask our way around,, reach the last town before the ascent to keverest,,I’m goin fast come to a turn,, a bus is right there turning at the same time coming towards me,, I cant stop,,if I brake hard I’m under the bus,, I brake slowly, I’m drifting towards the bus drifting drifting drifting,, the bus driver sees whats happening and straightens his bus,, that was the saving grace and psycho boost for me to escape the accident,, hehe,, don’t even look back keep driving,, anyway we r in reach of keverest which seem to be touching hell,, kakki starts snapping,, a horrible thorny caterpillar kinda insect is on my hand which leaves its small thorns on my skin,, all rashes rashes everywhere,, this sucks,, ,, we move ahead and stop at a shop,, drink coke,, feels good,, a few stupids pass in a jeep howling,, wonder whats wrong with them,, then realize these kinda crowds r there in all parts of the country,, we even put oil in our heads,,the shopkeeper thinks we r cracks,, we start our ride,, there’s a big dam,, kakki luckily doesn’t see that otherwise wud’ve been another stop,, we start our ascent,,we pass the howling jeeps guys,, the climb is steep kakki’s goin too fast,, tell him to go slow,, one slip and we take a shortcut to hell,, the road is amazingly narrow,, enough for a vehicle to pass,, the place is green but now we have benchmark of whats green and its nowhere close to the forbidden black forest hills we went thru last night,,
It seems its been a long time we went to silent valley but we’ve been thru so many things after that,, its alices in wonder ****ing land,, we go ahead and stop at a few placessee a lot of streams and small waterfalls on the way,, typical climb,, we come across a plain area the howling guys hav also stopped and one of them starts dancing in front of kakki,, the guys almost middle aged,, he’s wearing goggs and dancing to show off or something,, we laugh our heads off,, cant believe the old ass can be that immature,, we also stop to soak in the panoramic views,, climb on a big flat rock opposite the road and take kakki’s pic,, we see a stream down below this place is ideal for treks,,, we start off,, kakki again stops,, takes a pic of the rising peak covered with mist,, a good majestic sight,, anyways we move on and come to the top,, there’s a restaurant,,, we go in and order food,, the fools tell us there’s no food,, there’s some foul play but we come to know that people have to book in advance or something or its only for hotel guests,, great no food,, but we aint hungry.. the scenery drives us ahead,, we come across a small village and think that’s it,, and ask is there any tourist point,, he points northwards….we follow the route,, a young crackpot’s driving his jeep like crazy as if it’s a two lane highway,, the road and the area is too good,, people living here are in paradise,, I wonder if they realize that. It brings back memories of Wellington,, maybe I knew what was important at that age itself,, so used to lead my gang for a picnic everyday all throughout the year,,, child ****ing prodigy hehe,, anyway the place is really under a spell it seems,, we come across a private tea estate,, we think maybe that’s it,, but here we meet the freakiest guys on our trip,, two freaks from Nepal have been given the duty to do chowkidaari on the massive gates,, the two fools r typical,, both blabbering uncontrollably and saying patanahi kya dekhne ko aata hai ye malyali log yaha par,, mereko to kuch nahi acha lagta,,both keep blabbering we move on, we reach beautiful tea estates,, the place is worth staying at least an year and u wouldn’t get bored of it ever, park our bikes and it seems to b a tourist place as there are lotsa cars and jeeps parked,, we have to carry our bag which is quite heavy and looking awkward carrying it along, we r tired now and now’s the trip’s comin to an end we can feel it,, we reach a T junction while walking,, I decide to walkabout and see whats ahead I come across a seemingly dead end and some bushes and loud noises from maybe some drunks drinking there,, I see that its one hellva view and all tourists r shouting and screaming,, don’t think if any animals will be coming this way,, wherever its commercialized it’s a degeneration,, maybe the animals consider us to be jerks and rightly so,,the howling guys r here again one of them is sitting dangerously on a tree overlooking the cliff,,, they r shouting and acting like fools,, we go towards them I sense a fight,, I go thru first no one says anything,, the dancing guy catches kakki ,, says why is the bag heavy is there any food in it,,,kakki maharaj is in full gussa he says “wanna try lifting it?”,, another guy senses a fight and tells his friend to leave,, before I cud reach the spot all have dissolved otherwise somebody wud’ve died from my hands,, hehe,, we take a few pics ,, we can see all of pallakkad or maybe tamilnadu too,, can see the blue nilgiris or maybe they the black forest hills.

we go ahead keep goin down non-stop following a jeep,, we reach back down in 30 minutes flat,, kakki sees the dam,, its heaven,, a big lake with mountains on all sides and the ideal place to camp overnight,, again the pics don’t come out as beau as the real the thing..we carry on feel like fever has hit me,, stop again at the same shop,, carry on its raining heavily now ,,later on we take some beautiful sunset pics they also don’t come out finally, we rush towards pallakad,, pallakads gone now we r on a toll road leading towards coimbatore,, this road is the best we have ever seen in the whole trip,,straight,, we speed up and reach speeds of 110,,hero Honda ****ers mention 160 on the speedometer but the CBZ starts crying after 110,,but it’s robust,,not a **** from its engine throughout the whole trip,,fill it shut it n **** it,,we reach coimbatore ,,70 kms gone another 150 to go to salem our halt for the day,,,we stop at a drive in restaurant,, order heavy food,, nothing since breakfast today n its already 7:00 PM..we hog ..the fever’s feels less bad,, ,, but seems too much to go now,, we speed up and try to go fast but it rains in the way total numbness,, very boring ride with the fever too spoiling the mood,, count each n every km,, drop my 2k specs also somewhere in the way,,, reach salem finally in the night,,,take a room this time it’s a 300 one,, with a tv,,we r comin back to city life,, we watch tv refresh and sleep,, get up late at 9 r ready by 10 and r ready to go to pondicherry,, I’m waiting alone for kakki to come in the lobby,,an idea hits me,, we got the whole day,, y not go to yercaud,, 40 kms away,, good ol colonial hillstation,,we ask for directions and head up,, nothing compared to Kerala, a local asks for a lift from kakki,,he comes aboard and we make him our guide,,lotsa monkeys on the way,,, we reach the top after takin some pics in the way,, a crowded hill station,,lotsa people around,, our guide takes us to a waterfall,, it’s a steep trek down the valley,,we r tired,, take a few pics in the waterfall and head for lunch,, this is getting boring now,, we go for a restaurant,, our guide the mechanic is a bit conscious cos we’ve got him in here,, he eats consciously too,, we take his address and try to make him feel comfortable,, ask him his fav tamil songs, movies actor actresses,,then drop him off and move for pondi,, we go fast,, the scenery’s good,, its starting to rain now,, we put on our raincoats,, its getting fun now,, the rain’s coming really hard now,, we put our feet on our guards and riding like as if we r on buffaloes,, I raise my both feet in the air when truckies pass,, enjoying them looking at us and laughing,, the rain comes down real hard and visibility becomes zero and we stop,, the rain passes us by. We go ahead and reach a junction,, a crossing leads to cuddalore which is closer to pondicherry,, so we decide to take the risk and take the shortcut,,the first two kms are wonderful and I’m glad abt my decision within two minutes the road’s gone and the only thing that we see on the road is potholes,, I call it Dakar road rally and we r twisting and turning and trying to avoid as many potholes as possible,, we were bored but now its turning out to be a fun day again after the rains left us afresh,, we come to a power station where two caretakers are looking at us from the inside as we skid our bikes on their entrance,, we ask them for a better way they say its like that for another 15 kms,, we go ahead and I do one last final skid in the gravel where I keep skidding and finally am kissing the sand and kakki gets down laughin so hard he’s got tears in his eyes,, I swallow my pride and we start off after some time.. we reach pondi in the night at 9,, eat some good food and italian pizzas, call mama and tell her I’ve safely reached Chennai by bus,, hunt for some bacardi or foreign liquor don’t get anything at 11,, a guy tries to con kakki but kakki uses his khopdi and avoids him,, we start off to Chennai,, its gonna be one sleepy ride,, the East coast road is absouletly clear at 11:30 in the night,, we accelerate,, I’m in the lead kakki’s light is getting dimmer and dimmer,, we speed off in high gear,, very fast 100 kmph again,, follow a zen but its too fast,, two guys on 180 pulsar start accompanying behind us,, I keep leading faster n faster,, its getting tiring,, my legs r shaking n I’m still pushing the bike above 100,, if a fall happens its over,, we drive at 100s for an hour then stop near Chennai, bad condition,, no joy left now,, just wanna be home n sleep,, no police checks in the whole journey wow,, reach home at 2:00 ..call up my babe and say I’m alive,, sleep wake up for office and since then instead of getting charged and refreshed all I cud I do was pass one whole week in remorse workin in this world renowed consulting group n remember about the time we had there,, slow recovery,,,but will be fine…
NEXT MOUNTAIN RIDE (HOPEFULLY) – GARHWAL HIMALAYAS---SNOWBOARDING TO NIRVANA