2014 was the year I was given my first medication for depression by my therapist. He told me that my body was also unfit to take up many physical activities.

I got my first motorcycle and began riding far with my friends. I was least bothered about depression and medicines. Slowly, the fear grew on me. It was a period of withdrawal from the world. As the days passed, I continued riding my motorcycle. I had a crash and still continued as if it didn't happen. My family was never interested in motorcycles and they did not support my like to ride. They suggested they would get me a car for city and I used public transport. But with time, I slowly reduced my motorcycling activities. Fear grew on me. Being physically weak aggravated my fears and depression. Whenever I used to feel tired after a ride, I used to fall on the floor and think whether I was going to die. In the same year, people left my life - friends and a girlfriend whom I thought I had bright future with. As symptoms rose, my medication became stronger - I started taking sedatives that were clinically prescribed. My physical activities slowed down. Going to college became a pain, not just physically but mentally. I was unable to wake up and felt heavy at heart and mind. I started spending less time with people and as a result my fear of traffic cops, road rage and crashes increased. In 2015, I had left my swimming and diving lessons. I couldn't stand after every time I dived and got out of swimming pool. My body had gotten used to being sedate, I was losing the dynamic nature and balance. In the same year, I got a new motorcycle with less power, it was a choice made out of fear and my parents approved it.

By 2016, my fears became prominent that I avoided any debates with friends and reduced riding only to nearest shops. Only thing I did until that time was to clear my exams with least grades possible. I took a lot of days off from college. It was a time of sorrow at home - I was under medication, a dead man walking, parents were unhappy and we had sold our house because of a financial crunch. I got a job where my boss, a middle-aged lady, supported me and taught me the work. I was the odd man out there. I was unusually quiet for them and suddenly became the topic of gossip. There were low-level comments on me and whoever I talked with, about my condition and the medicines I took after every meal, about why I talked nothing but work. Nobody realised I was harmless but only doing my job because I had lost a happy youthful life. My boss got suspicious and asked me why I was like that. I disclosed that I was having this problem and tackling it. Only thing I was good at was taking all these criticism on my face and still showing up the next day. I did not feel their disgust but I felt how lonely I was. My boss told me not to worry and that she supported me because I had no bullshit. I took a lot of days off or worked from home because of my withdrawal. But I wanted to work irrespective of what happened and that kept me regular.

I did not know that my boss was a motorcycle enthusiast. She loved motogp and f1. She goes to many grand prix's, she's wealthy and can afford them. She even got amused with the new bikes that other employees brought to office and occasionally enjoyed going on rides on those bikes. I told her I liked motorcycle too and she asked why I was not riding it. I said I have been hesitant and scared since 2015 and I was unable to maintain balance at times while riding at speeds. After that even in middle of the work she used to talk about motorcycles and encourage me. She saved me from office politics and helped me when someone picked on me. There were days when I took public transport like trains and every time I felt lonely at work, I would stay back at the station, find a corner and cry. Sometimes till 10 p.m. My parents had become weak in the three years that whenever they saw me crying they used to cry too and that, I could not take. So, I avoided crying at home as much as possible. I worked in the office for one year and I increased my frequency of riding, even though it was for short distances. Once or twice a month I took my bike to office. I was still scared and sometimes disappointed my boss when she asked me if I can take her on my bike.

I then left the job for studying further and by this time, in 2017, I was riding more. I stopped taking sedatives and gave time for body to detox and lose all the chemicals I had taken. My only aim was happiness and to stay low-key. I became a quiet person and spoke only with parents and one or two friends. And I forgot to mention earlier, I had friends with whom I used to go on long rides, but because of what I was and new opportunities in different places, we stopped meeting after graduating from our undergrad studies. My higher studies are going to come to an end next month and in this one year, I saw a lot of positive difference in my attitude towards riding which I think will help others.

1. It is okay to go to a smaller bike when there is a need. Health and confidence are important.
2. Follow road rules. You'll be safe and nobody will mess with you.
3. Real life is mostly not like movies. You won't crash all the time or people won't harass you all the time. It happens rarely and look out for such situation to avoid them.
4. Make friends which is more important. A network is a great way to travel, with your bike, to different places and to take people along.
5. Take your parents on your motorcycle - it will make them feel safe and happy. In turn you will feel confident. Fro this purpose I'm looking for a scooter now which will be comfortable.
6. Keep riding even if its smaller distances, don't lose the muscle memory that you've developed with your motorcycle. Only because of that I'm now back on road and riding normally as I used to. I am also looking for an upgrade to a bigger motorcycle.

I also met friends who want to go as pillion with me, in my college. I felt happy. Some said my bike was uncomfortable and still went with me and asked me to get a scooter too. It was great hearing it because at this point, all I wanted was positivity. Don't lose hope if you're having a bad time. Sometimes you want to die but don't commit any such actions. It's not worth it. Give it some time and with years you will see a change. I realised that because of the establishment we feel left out when certain things don't happen at certain age. But no, that was not how our previous generations rolled and theirs was a better way of looking at life. You can get things much later in life that others have right now and it is fine. No one can define that life should be in a particular way. Please accept that to stay in peace. Slow down and breathe.

Please share your inspiring story if you have one. This thread should be a positive thread. Thank you.