What is better than a regular car? A quick car. What’s better than a quick car? A quick car with awesome noise? What’s better than that? A quick car with awesome noise combined with light weight and compact dimensions. In which category do you look for such a car? ‘Dem hot hatches. Recently, I had a brush with a pristine example of such a car in Dubai. It is called the Audi RS3; a little car big on fury. 

The last time I was in Dubai, I drove an R8 and the RS e-tron GT. Most of you may already know this but Audi uses the prefix RS as a synonym for a bit of madness. There was the polite A4 and the bonkers RS4. There was the soft-spoken A6 and the expletive-laden RS6. So the RS3, in essence, is an A3 hatch that was injected with the super-soldier serum and then gamma-rayed till it came out ‘green’. And it is quite angry too. It also comes in the saloon flavour but I got my hands on the hatch and have no complaints.

I am a big fan of the way the Audi RS3 looks. It is very compact but from the colour scheme to the wheels to the aggressive creases and inserts everywhere, it shouts recreation of a certain kind. The two exhaust pipes at the end further cement what the minimal RS3 branding has been trying to tell you for a while. On the inside too, the RS3 is sporty. The seating, the body-coloured inserts, and the aggressive flashing colours on the display; all not-so-subtly ask the driver to take the RS3 seriously. And one would do well to agree to that. 

I am not a big fan of talking about cars in a general manner following a set pattern. But along with being a motoring enthusiast, I am supposed to be a journalist too so I try. That said, what I have already said is all that I will say about looks and interiors and such. It is an Audi RS and it demands driving, so that is what I did and what I will talk about for the rest of the piece. For more, you can refer to the photos you find here and Audi’s website. 

The Audi RS3 is powered by a 2.5L turbocharged 5-cylinder engine. 5 cylinders may sound a little off but Audi has done that a few times. Now, you know how V10s are supposed to sound ungodly. Audi figured out a while ago that 5-cylinder engines can do the same. Add to that the swoosh of a turbo and you have a really nice soundtrack to accompany you on your adventures. And with the RS3 having 500 Nm of torque and just shy of 400 horses, you can have some serious adventures.

So in terms of power, torque and aural drama, the RS3 is well-endowed. And when it comes to putting all of that on the tarmac, the RS3 does that via Audi’s Quattro system so the grip on offer is absolute. You can be fairly rowdy with the RS3 coming out of corners and it will oblige. You can just mash the pedal off the line and it will oblige. In fact, the RS3 will dispatch 0-100 km/h in less than 4 seconds and go on to 290 km/h (with the optional dynamic pack). That is mighty quick and mighty fast. 

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Moreover, one of the major reasons why the Audi RS3 feels so sprightly is a clever trick that Audi calls the RS Torque Splitter. In layman’s terms, it can use mechanical magic to divert the torque available on the rear driveshaft to the wheel that the system deems in need of it. During a corner, it is often the loaded outer wheel and more torque there mitigates understeer. In practical terms, it makes the RS3 feel a lot more agile than it would have been if only the front wheels were driven. 

In addition to the engine, the dynamics of the Audi RS3 are mighty impressive as well. The chassis feels well-judged, the steering weighty and the adaptive damping is mechanical and electronic sorcery. On rougher roads, the ride quality is more forgiving than you might imagine and when you push it, the support from the suspension inspires confidence. Confidence that you greedily utilize to push the RS3 even harder. 

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For the even greedier ones, there’s a mode called RS Torque Rear and simply put, it is sort of like a drift mode. Though with a car like the Audi RS3 which is not primarily or predominantly rear-wheel drive, it is a bit unceremonious to use the mode for such paltry tricks that involve tyre wear and smoke. 

This brings me to the modes and such. There are quite a few and all of them do things in a manner that is mostly right for the occasion but not just right. I do not own the car and I was not using it to go to work. I wanted fun and it takes a minute to figure out your kinda fun in a system that has a fair few variables. But if you can get it set up just right for your driving style, there are not a lot of cars that are more enjoyable than this little number. 

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I think that the term sportscar has become rather loose nowadays. The Audi RS3 though… man, it puts that term into the right-est perspective possible. And it does that without being absurd. It is comfortable to drive, comfortable on the inside, not obnoxious on the outside and simply put, one of the quickest nice cars around. It proves that a car does not need the driver to sacrifice everything else to have fun. It proves that cars that can do Monday to Friday 9 to 5s and then let loose on the weekend exist. 

It proves that Audi has the goods to make such a car.