They say all things happen in due course. Bad things… and good things. Sometimes the bad phase goes on for a tad bit too long, and sometimes, the good times roll. The latter seems to be the case with us. Why… you ask? Well, imagine this, you get a BMW M4 and a BMW S1000RR to thrash around in Dubai, and when you finally, with a heavy heart we might add, go to return them, they hand you over the keys to a BMW M850i xDrive and a BMW R nineT Heritage! If this doesn’t imply good times, we don’t know what does. That is exactly what happened with us, and we’d like to thank BMW AGMC for understanding the insatiable thirst of us petrolheads!

BMW AGMC Motorrad leads the sale of high-displacement motorcycles in Dubai and Northern-Emirates despite the premium placement of BMW Motorrad motorcycles. In cars, m850i has been selling really well despite the premium placement which is a result of BMWs quality products and AGMC’s excellent customer service.

Now the 8-series has had an interesting run to date. First introduced in 1990, the 8-series coupes introduced a radical design language in the BMW lineup. They were really long, really luxurious and packed a serious punch. Yet, for a multitude of reasons, the sales never really picked up, and the production was ended in 1999. Sad… but in 2018, BMW reintroduced the 8-series, and while the design is a bit more in line with other cars in BMW’s stable, the 8-series is still manageably long, insanely opulent and the performance… oh boy!

Starting with the looks of the car, despite the setback with the old-gen 8-series, BMW has opted for a bold approach for the design of the new 8-series. One look at the front and it almost misleads you into thinking that it is a sports car. The long hood houses the BMW badging, and in addition to that, the contours and the lines lend it a perfectly aggressive stance. The headlights too are lean and mean-looking, but most importantly, they are Laser. When the car is on, the DRLs look beautiful, but the best part is, look at them from the side, and they look like more than hollow glass tubes!

The signature kidney grille is bigger, and a little more convex edge in the upper region sharpens the front a bit more. Interestingly, the grille is… closed. Actually, the grille is active, and it opens up when the car is at speed. A lot is going on in the front diffuser as well, which houses cleverly shaped intakes that lend the car the dynamism and aggression that we talked about. The side profile of the car is just as flowy with an air outlet just behind the wheel arches, which perfectly blends with the aerodynamic lines along the door, which flow to the rear wheel arches and the taillight. But it is the sloping roofline that will really take your heart when you are looking at the car from its side! The M-Sport insignia along the front wheel arch gave it a tough fight though.

Even if we could time-travel to the 60s aboard the BMW R nineT, we’d go there wearing the Apex Sharkco from Axor. In an across-the-town race, this helmet would have conveyed the intent of the rider to their competitors very clearly. And help the rider keep his head on his shoulders too!

The Stealth Evo pants from Rynox make sure that the rider’s knees are safe if they scrape their knees accidentally… or intentionally! The knee-guards provide protection for the shins as well and the hip-guards provide the rider with 360-degree protection.

The rear of the car carries on the athletic lines by means of a lean taillight. Surprisingly though, the rear of the car looks much busier than any other profile. The diffuser, the lines, and the vents are right behind the rear tyres. The right side has the M850i badging, and the M is of the motorsport flavour. Despite not being a dedicated performance-oriented M8, the car gets a generous amount of M-badging.

Now, onwards to the weird things. First, there is a body-coloured spoiler on the top of the rising tail, and it is really small. Probably the smallest spoiler we have ever seen, but then we are not going to comment on its aerodynamic effects on the car because come on… Germans know their engineering. The actually weird part, though, is that looking at the rear of the M850i, you feel that it has a two-pipe exhaust… but look closely, and each outlet houses two pipes. So effectively, the car has a quad-pipe exhaust, but it makes it look like it’s dual-pipe. Maybe they saved it for the M8, or maybe… someone messed up.

The exterior is beautiful, but it is a BMW 8 Series, so the real fun must be inside. The first thing that we’d like to tell you about is the interior lighting. It exists on the door panel and around the centre console, and it is just gorgeous. It is customizable too, but the really smart thing is that they flash red when the door is open to let other people know that the door of a beautiful M850i is open! We always wondered why it was referred to as mood lighting… if you have the same question on your mind. Set the light to blue or lavender and cruise around, the answer is right there.

The dash shows analogue speedo, rev counter, temperature gauge, and fuel gauge digitally. On the same screen, navigation is displayed between the speedo and tacho. It is configurable, and it will show you the g-force, instantaneous horsepower and torque figures, mode, and such if you so desire. The BMW m805i is also made to love the people in the cabin, so it shows a warning on the display when the engine is hot, so that you are careful when you open the hood of the car.

Technology has come a long way, and the M850i is full of it. The adaptive cruise control of the car makes it slow down or speed up depending on the traffic conditions. The cool part is that there is a button that says Lim, and if you press it, the car will detect speed signs and adjust the speed accordingly, automatically! And then it has voice command too, and you just have to say ‘Hello BMW’ to wake it up. That is configurable too, and you can set your own phrase to activate the voice command. The possibilities… Come forth into the light of things! And then there’s gesture control. Rotate your finger in the clockwise direction, and it increases the volume and the opposite decreases it.

Since it is a luxury coupe, the seats are heated (or cooled). Since it’s a luxury coupe from the house of BMW, even the armrests are heated! There are more configurable things under the centre console… buttons to be precise. And simply gliding your fingers over the buttons tells you of their assigned function, which is very thoughtful… and beautiful when you see it happening on the infotainment screen.

Another rather quirky feature is that you can teach the m850i about your relationship with a particular contact, so that when you call your father/mother/son/daughter, you can just say call father/mother/son/daughter instead of saying their name and the car obliges. There’s also a ‘Delete all relationships’ option for the times when the world becomes too much to deal with!

Performance? This is a luxury 8-series car, so… SO WHAT? It can still scare the bejesus out of you because it may weigh close to 2 tonnes, but it is powered by a 4.4L BMW TwinPower Turbo V8, which makes 530 bhp of power and 750 Nm of torque. But those things are on paper, and the real deal is when you press the power button and the engine comes to life. The roar of the V8 is a bit muted but resolute. Give it a few revs, and you know why the engine has the M-Performance cover on it. If you want to drive around encompassed in the luxuries of this world, it’ll happily do that with the balanced power delivery and supple suspension. If you are a sprightly one, put it in Sport and watch it transform… from a ballerina to a hip-hop legend.

It does 0-100 km/h in less than 4s and goes to an electronically limited top speed of 250 km/h (the M8 is the naughty unlocked cousin). Also, when you are in the process of validating the authenticity of the above-stated numbers, the sound is so gloriously V8 that you’d happily make do with the car even if it lacked half the features that we mentioned above.

The BMW M850i is a super-luxury coupe, and it is all justified by the abundance of modern-day features and creature comforts. What really makes this car engaging is the performance full of soul and character. The sound that the engine makes when you count the revs with the car as they rise. All of that is a bonus, and if this particular model packs this much performance, what would the M8 be like… Yep, we’re leaving for Dubai on the first chance we get!

In the grand scheme of things (quite literally), we must not forget another little warrior that accompanied the m850i. The BMW R nineT, the Racer variant of which we rode to the World Ducati Week last year. The motorcycle belongs to the Heritage family in the BMW Motorrad lineup, and that much is quite palpable. The classic cafe-racer design language, the round headlamp and that sweet, sweet Boxer protruding from the motorcycle. It is touches like these (and the BMW insignia on the bulb inside the headlight) that endear a particular model to a rider.

A printed graphic tee to match the classic cafe-racer BMW R nineT and a blue jacket to make sure that the BMW M850i doesn’t think too highly of itself in front of the man behind the wheel. Rare Rabbit is ready to help you dress-up for any occasion!

The classic touch is continued in the mechanical department as well. The air-cooled 2-cylinder ‘Boxer’ displaces 1,170cc and makes 110 bhp of power and 116 Nm of torque. The hydraulically-activated dry clutch emphasises the retro nature of the motorcycle even more. Be it the rattle of the dry clutch or the rumble of the ‘Boxer’, the R nineT ticks a lot of boxes in the nostalgic sense of the word. A must-have for a motorcycle enthusiast and for someone who’d like to arrive at a discotheque and announce that they have arrived without saying a word.

This was one heck of an episode for us, getting to experience two machines, one of which paves the way for the future and one that takes you back in time to when all this started. And we are glad to be living in this age in which we get to experience both. Again, a big thanks to BMW AGMC for lending us these two beauties.