Funny Article Approved

General Biking Discussion Approved.

Ken & Aryan, thanks for the approval!

@Everyone, waiting for your insights.

In Delhi.. you cannot spot the traffic cops unless you are caught by them.. Its their rule to be hidden and let people break the rules.. and when they break it .. catch hold of them !!

everyone knows... those who drive slower than you are idiots and those drive faster are maniacs.

only good thing abt Bangalore is too much traffic and too narrow roads to drive rash rest all you know, nobody respect cops here, buses even being all govt are damn rash!

Rules of traffic here in chennai.......
1 - Always stop ur Vehicle on the Zebra crossing and let the pedestrains trouble
2 - Make sure u do not wear helmet
3 - Hit thy Cycles which drives in the middle of the road
4 - Hit thy Catwalk girls in the middle of the road with thier Mobiles in thier ears - doesnt even consider the Green light for Vehicles
5 - Honk your Multisound Airhorn when there are flies flying in front of you
6 - Remember to Honk thrice.....
7 - Honk when the signal is green for you - as you stand behind 50 vehicles
8 - Wash your helmet daily as u see Bus wallas and Lory wallas split PAN on it
9 - Always Turn in a Non U turn
10 - Obey the rule of always getting into No Way or One Way
11 - Always Drive Zig Zag in a Narrow Road

Wellll there are still a lot to tell.......................

Well my friend, you have missed out a few golden rules which i see quite often on our roads:
- Autos always travel on the right most lane even if they are crawling at 20kmph
- One auto will overtake another auto on a steep incline blocking the entire road without allowing other swifter road users to pass till the overtaker finishes overtaking which might take 15-20 seconds on an incline.
- Cycles want to travel on the right most side of the road just beside the median and want to swing left immediately without even turning back to look if there is any vehicle behind them.
- Buses will not stop at the designated stop and has to stop either few yards before or after the stop.
- Always attempt a turn in No U-Turn median.
- Enter into One Way and drive/ride as if they have the right of way and we are offenders.

Many more....

-Abhi

I feel that the people in Hyderabad have the worst traffic sense(or I should say, they don't have any traffic sense) in India.

1. Don't follow any rule.

2. Always keep the helmet on the rvm or the tank while riding.

3. Always cross the railway crossing by pushing the bike through the tracks when a train is about to come.

4. Never ride at sane speeds.

5. Always jump traffic signals.

6. Always walk in the middle of the road.

7. Look straight while crossing the road(don't look towards the oncoming traffic).

8. Cross half the road and then turn back if you see a vehicle approaching near you.

9. Always jump from the bus before it comes to a halt.

10. The more the number of people you are able to stuff into an auto, the better.

11. (for cops)Stop a motorist even if he wears a helmet and follows all the traffic rules.

12. (for cops)Stop a vehicle if you see a temporary registration.

Some Rules from my side.
1. Traffic Rules don't apply till 15 days before some big National festival(Holi, Diwali etc). You dont need any documents but a big pocket to get away if caught.
2. You have the liberty to use the road to the fullest i.e. park in the middle of the road or if you want to talk to someone you find one the way stop right there and talk.
3. Take U turn only when some one is coming towards you at a good speed and to avoid crash he has to brake hard.
4. You are allowed to talk on mobile phone.
5. You should honk if signal is going to get red and speed away, you get here a Right to Brag about.
6. Always drive in the midlle of the road because you have also paid the road tax.
7. Helmet is not for safety but it causes accidents.
8. If you are a Girl no Traffic rules apply.

Great stuff!

A small one from my side:
If going left and there's a vehicle in front of you MUST overtake it on the right side. Cut into its path as sharp as possible to make sure the driver gets an opportunity to test his braking skills. Of course, if going right, overtake from the left side!

There are some pretty good entries on this thread. I am enjoying this!

Traffic rules apply only when there is some political party meeting in my place

I disagree completely. Everything does not work. What seems to work, is due to the magical fluke of it all. Drivers do not know how to avoid an accident, they only know how to create one. Take the example of the latest tragedy befallen on Kriss. The driver of the bus is just another of them who knows how to create an accident, but does not know how to avoid. And his style of driving DID NOT WORK!

The chaos that reigns on the streets is due to the fluke of missing the accident by inches. I ride on my bike every single day to office and to many other places. There is not a day that I have not just missed an accident. By the time I am home, I thank God I arrived in 1 piece.

I am the evergreen ranter of Indian traffic!

Prajwal

And in Chennai -

1. Cops will just hide and wait till the signal turns orange. Then they will come rushing towards any vehicles they see after the signal point, even if it has crossed the signal when the light was green.

2. MTC buses will stop only on the rightmost side of the road, nearest to the divider.

3. When the long distance bus drivers enter the city, they will try and maintain the same 80kmph, and zig zag through traffic with such maneuvers that will put fear of god in the hearts of auto drivers and bikers.

4. The Indica cabs will always be in a hurry, be it in morning rush hour or late night, and it is in your best interest to give way to them.

5. If you are infront of a MTC bus and is bold enough to stop at a signal, the bus driver will honk and honk till you are forced to break the signal.

6. The scooty girls here, sure knows a thing or two about wringing out the maximum performance out of their puny vehicles. All this, without wearing any helmet and hairs flying about in the wind. They are the closest you will come to seeing any miracles on Indian roads.

7. The white Scorpios will try to come as close as possible to you in an effort to scare the hell out of you. They have this compulsive overtaking disorder.

8. Same with the Pajeros and the Prados. The Mercs and the BMWs will drive well though.

9. If the time is after 11pm, the cops will stop you at every checkpoint. If the papers are in order, get ready to open your mouth and blow into their nose to prove that you are not drinking! C'mon ever heard of breath analysers?

10. Lastly, all of these cops will vanish after 2am. After that, you are free to do as you please.