funniest topic ever....

hey nice ones dude

hey nice ones dude

nice one dude!!

nice one dude!!

Thats awesome!!!

Thats awesome!!!

Hey Dude, I found out these Bumper Stickers.
Check em out.........

My job is secure. No one else wants it.
You've obviously mistaken me for someone who cares
This is my other car!
And on the eighth day, God went fishing
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
Stop the violins. Visualize whirled peas.
Gun Control isn't about guns. It's about control.
There's too much youth; how about a fountain of smart.
My computer doesn't understand me!!
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Horn broken. Watch for finger.
I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings
Grandchildren are spoiled because you can't spank the Grandma!
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway
Support Capitol Punishment, Flog a Politician Today
I'd rather be hunting
Sometimes I wish life had subtitles
Save the humans
The gene pool could use a little chlorine!
Hang up and drive!
Proud member of the vast right-wing conspiracy
I'd rather be fishing
If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative
I souport publik edukashun
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse
Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity
I'd rather be driving a golf ball
I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong!
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
A politician should do two terms - one in office and one in jail
Tired of being around? Call Dr. Jack
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed Regularly, and for the same reason.
My other car bumper sticker is funny
If all else fails .. lower your standards
Bosses are like diapers. Full of **** and all over your ass!
The religious right is neither
It's hard to stumble when you're on your knees.
Nuke the gay unborn baby whales for peace
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Don't laugh .. It's paid for!
Time flies when you don't know what you're doing
He who dies with the most toys, wins!
My other car is a Porsche
Cat: The other white meat
I'm in no hurry, I'm on my way to work
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time
Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it
The #1 cause of divorce is ... Marriage
Don't take life too seriously. You won't get out alive.
We are spending our kids inheritance.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Some days you're the Dog, & Some days you're the Hydrant
If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
Don't let school interfere with your education
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
My karma ran over your dogma
I may be slow, but I'm ahead of you
**** happens!
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
If it's tourist season then why can't we shoot them?
Men have feelings too, but who really cares?
And on the eighth day, God went skiing
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
Athletes love to score
Not all women are fools. Some are single.
There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.
If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane
Yes, I've heard of ""decaf."" What's your point?
Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your children
Procrastinate Later
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... not screaming and yelling like the assengers in his car.
I love cats, they taste just like chicken
Men are idiots and I married their king
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
The best way to get on your feet is to get off your ass!
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes!
Caution! Driver just doesn't give a **** anymore!
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
Have a crappy day
God grant me patience. And I want it NOW!
Impeach Clinton. And her husband.
I'll do it tomorrow, I've made enuf mistakes today
Remember when sex was safe and motorcycles were not!
Caution! I brake for tailgaters
Life's too short to date ugly women
Liberals want misery spread equally
I'm looking for true love. But I'll settle for cheap sex.
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
Love is free. It's diapers that are expensive
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
Life would be so much easier if we just had the source code
Annoy a liberal. Work hard and smile
Proud to be an American
Lottery! A tax on people who are bad at math
Mean people suck
Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die
If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people!
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them
I am an escapee of a political correction facility.
Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot!
I still miss my Ex ... but my aim is improving
Women who want to be equal to men lack ambition
Computers cut my work in half and the boss expects me to put it all back together!
Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself!
Give me coffee and no one will get hurt
Sleep is a poor substitute for coffee
Ignore your rights and they'll go away
C code. C code run. Run, code, run! (please?)
If you're rich, I'm single!
This truck belongs to me. Everything else belongs to her
The complaint department is closed!
I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it
Work is for people who don't know how to golf
Get even. Live long enough to be a problem to your children
Question Authority before it Questions You!
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Support the right to arm bears!
I need someone really bad... are you really bad?
Invest in America Buy a Congressman!
A woman with a big fat ass should dump him
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an idiot!
You can't fix stupid
24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
I AM in shape. Round is a shape.
Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship
My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
I've run out of sick days, so I'm calling in dead!
Politically incorrect and proud of it
Vegetables aren't food. Vegetables are what food eats.
If you drink like a fish - swim, don't drive
I don't give a damn what your other car is!
Earth First. We'll screw up the other planets later.
Warning! Driver only carries $20 in ammunition
When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle
If you're not the lead dog, the scenery never changes
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether
Gun control is being able to hit your target
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you
I drive way too fast to worry about cholestrol
Reality is the leading cause of stress
Good planets are hard to find
It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
Jesus is coming! Look busy
Same BS, different day
I like your approach, let's see your departure
Life's too short to date ugly men
I said for better or for worse, not forever!
If the van's a' rockin, don't come a' knockin
Computer Literacy? You mean my computer is supposed to be able to read?
Quiet! Genius at work
Work is for people who don't surf the net!
Men are pigs
Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional.
I love my country. It's the government I'm afraid of.
I respect your opinion. Just don't want to hear it!
Remember when Windows were washed, mice were trapped, and UNIX guarded the harem?
Why should we trust the government with automatic weapons?
Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
What part of ""NO"" don't you understand?
Panic now and avoid the rush
I fight poverty, I work
If men are from Mars, then why can't we send them back?
The opposite of progress is Congress
When the going gets tough, everybody leaves
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!
The best things in life aren't things
If you can read this, you are too close!
God's last name is not damnit!
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
America - Love it or leave it
DAMM - Drunks against Mad Mothers
I love my boss, I love my job, I'm self employed
I always wanted to be a procrastinator; never got around to it.
Life's a ***** and then you die!
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
I'd rather be playing golf
Life is like a box of chocolates .. full of nuts!
To hell with the dog, beware of the owner
I'm not as think as you drunk I am
Was today really necessary?
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog
The computer revolution is over and the computers won!
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
It's bad enough driving sober. Don't drive drunk
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you!
Few women admit their age ... Fewer men act theirs
Honesty pays, but not enough
Computers aren't intelligent. They just think they are.
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
If this car were a horse, I'd have to shoot it
A bad day of golf beats a good day of working
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Ask me if I care!
Good cowgirls keep their calves together
Work is for people who don't know how to fish
The ten commandments aren't multiple choice
I don't deserve self esteem
I'm not deaf. I'm just ignoring you.
Proud to be a Democrat
Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control
The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open.
Falwell and Robertson don't speak for me!
I finally got it all together, but I forgot where I put it
First they burn books then they burn people
Ask me about my vow of silence
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
I only look Sweet & Innocent
You have the right to remain silent. So please SHUT UP.
Work harder. Millions on welfare depend on you
My other car is also a piece of junk
And on the eighth day, God played golf
If women are from Venus, then why can't we send them back?
Conservatives suck
A bad day of fishing beats a good day of working
Meeting - an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
Not all men are fools. Some are single.
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance
Death Before Dishonor Nothing Before Coffee
Proud to be a Republican
I love cats. Want to trade recipes?
It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
To err is human. To really screw up, you need a computer
I'd rather be skiing
Hey jerk, you are driving a car, not a phone booth
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
My kid beat up your honor student
Love is a 4-letter word
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

aah , so you're feminist ? how cute !


Cathode , that quote Ive heard before - who's is it ? Mahatma Gandhi ? or Martin Luther King ?

Hi cathode pls try to post in a single post & not in many.. if u remember something later then u can edit ur topic & add it.. thx

man thats one hell of a collection, keep them coming.

Another quote that came to my mind,

FIRST THEY LAUGH AT YOU
THEN THEY IGNORE YOU
THEN THEY FIGHT YOU

AND THEN YOU WIN!

I DONT FLY LOW,
I JUST RIDE FAST!

Just came across this one....

"When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness..."


:-)

every artist is a cannibal, every poet is a thief...
all kill their imagination, then sing about the grief.

Love is blindness, i dont wanna see

u know jesus used to show me the way...
then they put jesus in show business...
now its hard to get in the door.

the faster thee all...
the harder the fall...

woman needs a man...
like a fish needs a bicycle...

i cant hold on to you...
when all u got is hurt.