Re: Royal Enfield Tractor. A review.

Yes, this is not a banter thread. Don't we all love our bikes? It is just a lighthearted thread as SK mentioned.
Though I don't quite agree with the statement that "men ride bullets and boys ride XYZ"!

Re: Royal Enfield Tractor. A review.


Hmmm.... even i am also taking it in a good way , there is nothing to complain about

Re: Royal Enfield Tractor. A review.

[MENTION=75372]Kamendra Chahar[/MENTION]: This is a lighthearted thread, and you should take it as it is. There are other bullet owners on this thread who have taken the humor in a good way. Even I am a Bullet owner since 2006 and I know where it is bad and where it is good... and I am actually enjoying various posts..

Re: Royal Enfield Tractor. A review.

hey divya......

i say it proudly that i m a BULLETIER.......

But i don't understand y people compare RE with any other bike , especially those who don't ride RE & there excuse weight is more , power is less, low fuel efficiency , not fast as XX,YY Blah Blah....

In my perspective every bike is unique but i can't hear anything bad about my darling.......

Re: Royal Enfield Tractor. A review.

[MENTION=8461]forty6[/MENTION] what amazing write up man... Enjoyed every word. Should write articles for a living, if you are not doing that already

Re: Royal Enfield Tractor. A review.

Kindergarten? Lol!
Do you ride a bullet?


Sent from my phone. Kindly avoid it while riding.

Re: Royal Enfield Tractor. A review.


Hey dude ...hats off to u

Only real man rides bullets & all others are still in there kindergarten

Re: Royal Enfield Tractor. A review.

now that this thread is awake and some amazing write-up by @fortysix .

oh yes... i do own one.. and yes the old one.. .77 model and yes it is indeed a tractor and yes i laugh on it too...
and yes i ride my cbr , cbz , rx more and most often.. the bull is taken out when i want some back pain. when madam says the battery will be dead.. "kabhi to chalao"..

i have one for the "heritage value" . and thats bout it.... no way practical....

i was going ladakh 2014- and folks/friends/colleagues asked.... so bull is being readied.... and i was like.. did you guys miss the CBR ?

the cbr gave dust to every bike i possibly saw .. most of them being bulls..
never broke down.
no carb adjustments.
redlining even on the highest passes ( yes i mean it ) i did redline the damn thing on those roads.


i am not a part of bull group for the same reason. i love riding and touring but i am not of opinion on "bull is the best" .No ITS NOT. even splendor will outdo it any day... and i will stand by it. i wont prefer doing daba-daba-daba-da da da da at 50--60kmph on plain roads , rather i'd enjoy the wind buzzing my lid at 90-100's and take a longer break at some scenic spot and click more pictures.

Re: Royal Enfield Tractor. A review.

[MENTION=69523]Ankey[/MENTION]: very well said. its the essence of two wheels that we love. and every bike has its own pros and cons.
what matters at the end is "we all love to ride", so let's just ride on in the joys.

Re: Royal Enfield Tractor. A review.

Superb comments starting with @fortysix and now Ankey's post, totally hilarious wow.

Now coming to the point- I am a bullet owner and ride a classic 500 and below are some facts from my 2 year ownership-
Top speed- It can reach up to 120kmph for short duration but there is numbing vibration at that speed.
Pickup- Depends on rider, I can accelerate quite fast and strong.
Cruising- I think it does this best and can do so comfortably at 80-90kmph all day long.
Seating- Best seating so far in my experience (I have stock seats). Pillion seat sucks.
Problems- Surprisingly and contrary to reputation, nothing so far except for blown fuses in initial days. No leak, no cable breakage, nothing. But I do carry the spares (I hate it)
Offroad travel- No problems, I have ridden it on some of the worst roads and even no roads.

Having said all that I still feel that RE is taking us for a ride and for the money and for gods sake for the era we live in, they should improve the quality of the electricals and wiring and fittings and engine power- why a meagre 27BHP in a 500cc?

Re: Royal Enfield Tractor. A review.


My friend you are the only Bullet owner who took it in the right spirit, and laughed it off, like it is supposed to be. I dont understand why people take it to their heart and start an argument which they know will never end. I own a R15 V2 and whenever anyone asks for advice about buying it, the first thing I say is that the pillion seat it bloody useless. It is R15's shortcoming and I accept it and agree to live with it. I dont start arguing and defending an R15 with stupid arguments. Yes it is an engineering marvel, a technological leap that is first seen in any of the Indian bikes, but it also have faults and shortcomings,and I am the first one to tell people, who ask me if they should buy one. I dont get all hot and bothered if someone says that it gives wrist pain and back pain, instead agree to the shortcomings and warn the new buyers about these things so that they can make an informed decision.
So, to anyone who is offended by these posts, please dont be offended, its just a group of friends teasing each other and having fun. Peace out. Ride safe.

Re: Royal Enfield Tractor. A review.

man, amazing q and a, really rofl stuff

and got even funnier from this question onward(Q : There is this 'noise' on my Bullet's (insert part here))
i found myself imbued with laughter from here onwards .
great stuff

Re: Royal Enfield Tractor. A review.

A few Q and A for someone who is thinking of buying a BULLET.

Q : How many Bulleteers does it take to change a rear wheel?
A : None, Thanks to the amazing power of the Bullet, it'll wheel on no matter what.

Q : What do I do in case my Bullet has a puncture?
A : 'Pray' - you surely can't push THAT thing anywhere.

Q : How many mechanics does it take to fix a Bullet's leaky head?
A : '0', Only God can fix that. However don't forget the 10 different know it all owners who keep advising him how to fix it.

Q : Why is the Bullet's seat so comfy?
A : We live in India. We want everything comfy, right from the government to not standing in line... to Bullet seats.

Q : Why is the Bullet so amazing?
A : It is amazing to other people - the ones who take off their blinkers and are amazed to see people paying through their noses for what essentially amounts to something a 3 year old put together with a Lego set.

Q : What makes the Bullet thump?
A : There are little men with big hammers and gongs sitting in the silencer. When the vehicle is started, they start hitting the gong in joy at that feat.

Q : Why is the Bullet considered a legend?
A : It is a legend in the same way as the Nizam of Hyderabad's jewels. The similarity stops there, however, museums and collectors would pay for the Nizam's jewels, the same thing does not apply to the Bullet.

Q : I've heard said about the Bullet that "there is no logic, no reasoning, no practicality involved when buying a Royal Enfield."
A : Yes, the proper single word for that is called "Stupidity"

Q : Why do Bullet owners think everyone on the road is looking at them? Does this make them happier?
A : This is a false misunderstanding. When a Bulleteer pops by with a 'whup whup whup' and a smug expression, the bystanders are delighted at the thought of someone giving credence to the saying "There's a sucker born every minute".

Q : I believe my Bullet is invincible. However, what do I do in case it breaks down on the highway?
A : First things first, deflate your ego, then hail down the nearest guy on a 100CC bike. Chances are, that Plastic bike owner will have enough consideration to stop and see if he can help, unlike you Bullet owners, who keep sitting straight stiffly and look straight ahead at the road no matter what.
(Note : 200CC+ bikes will already be a far off speck, and there is no point hailing them anyway)

Q : What do I do if my Bullet breaks down in the forest?
A : Boss, with your handlebar moustache and macho looks, surely you're not frightened of a mere lion or tiger? In any case, all animals will cower in fear at the sound of a Bullet breaking down.

Q : What do I do if my Bullet breaks down in the city?
A : Call the Enfield service centre. Once they get their heads out of their asses, they will get to solving your problem in the next month. But mark my words, there is no guaranty of the problem getting fixed, but there is a fair chance of it getting worse.

Q : Why is there such a long waiting period for the Bullet?
A : They keep scouring the country for low standard parts to fix onto these bikes, unfortunately, no factories manufacture things with such specs.

Q : Why are the Bullet showrooms so full of arrogant salesmen?
A : They cater to people with more money than sense, sort of like the Lamborghini or Rolls Royce guys. (Dear reader, this isn't a comparison however. Please read the Nizam of Hyderabad's Q/A to see where the similarity ends).

Q : There is this 'noise' on my Bullet's (insert part here)
A : It's normal

Q : My Bullet is spewing smoke like an oil well on fire!
A : It's normal

Q : I found this 'nut' (or insert other spare part here) lying on the ground next to my Bullet
A : Don't worry, the Bullet has many non essential spare parts. If need be, you can use the engine components as a Hammer and Sickle and say "Nyet Nyet!Comrades"

Q : HAH! My Bullet has run for over 50K kms without failure, what do you have to say now??
A : That's definitely NOT normal, you should have your Bullet examined by some mechanic who can then take a hammer and sickle to the engine until you feel the pain of your fellow brethern.

Q : I'm a noob to biking, is the Bullet right for me?
A : Shame on you for even considering it.

Q : I'm 6'6" in height, is the Bullet suitable for me?
A : No

Q : I'm 5'5" in height, is the Bullet suitable for me?
A : No

Q : Is the Bullet suitable for ANYONE?
A : Yes, if you desire to torture yourself, have a fetish for the middle ages, and can use black magic on the engine to keep it running, the Bullet is made for you.

Q : Jokes apart, why do so many police forces use the Bullet?
A : They are paid by the crooks so they can outrun and outmanuever the Bullets anywhere and everywhere, be it a crowded city, where the bullet lumbers along like a drunk buffalo or a highway where it is out of breath nearing an engine seize.

Q : My Bullet chokes and gasps for air after reaching 80kph
A : Its face will also turn red, and its veins will bulge, not for the lack of trying. You can't expect a pot bellied, fat constable to run like Usain Bolt, can you?

Q : Why is the Bullet so Addictive?
A : We have a lot of drug addicts too, that doesn't make it right somehow, does it?

Q : Why do Bulleters don't wave at other bikers?
A : They're too busy daydreaming about owning a real motorcycle.
Their engine is too weak to handle the added wind resistance of a waving hand.
Are you kidding? Risk their lives trying to control a Bullet with just one hand!
They can't see you because their half helmet keeps falling down over their eyes.
They think we are actually trying to draw their attention to the parts falling off their bikes, and they are sick and tired of it.

Note: I am not the author of the above post, I came across it a long time ago in Xbhp and reposted. Any credit goes to the the original author.

Re: Royal Enfield Tractor. A review.

that was just hilarious man, so many good parts. just beautiful
@ forty6 : i hope you wont mind if i forward the link to few of my frinds for a good laugh, very well put.
any chance you are a writer by profession

as for the general discussion:
what can i say, i am bit of a enfield fanatic myself, have owned 2, one still lives and desperately seeking third
one through the army barracks, if i can find one. and this with having owned and still continuing to owm numerous so called Desi, and Desi Japs( aka pulsars, shogun, R15 v1 and now V2, CBR 250)
bikes are bikes, got two wheels and an engine, and they will float, they will waft, through all the terrains
and through our thoughts.
so honestly i dont understand any point of arguing which is a good bad or ugly of bike. to each his own as they say.

i believe forty6 was just narrating his thoughts with surreal humourous antics, in a very eloquent way with a tinge of sarcasm.
and what a good read it is, i still cant stop laughing, and after all there is some truth in what he said aswell. the line about starting and waking her up i remember my days in 2000 when i got lightning 535, oh, what a pain it was to start it, i only had a brief stint on my cousins 350 standard after selling shogun, and goodness that 535 killed me, within a week i was looking for buyers so that i can get rid of it and get a cbz. but thank goodness that didnt happen, not until 2009 when i sold it got get r15, and i still regret selling it. but thats a story for another time, let me not bore you guys.
and it took me long time to get a hold of that kick, so i can very well relate to the narration.

just my 2 cents here.
i remember this too, on one of the ride to shimla, i guess somewhere in 2005, along with a friend,
got stuck in traffic near dilshad garden, it was peak summer, there was some construction going around.
maybe it was the happiness of heading out or may be it was the heat or god knows what
but these words flew through the mind and they stuck around till today.

cruise man cruise and not for speed
but to feel the wind and fall in love with the heat
with dust as my blanket, in the sun so bright
i'll ride all day, and all through the night
to cruise on and on, maybe not for speed
just to feel the dust and fall in love with my iron steed!

Re: Royal Enfield Tractor. A review.

Left here and forgotten this thread is a reminder that bastard child also deserve love. 10 pages of comments!! Thank you guys for having a good laugh over this. I had too.