Archived Thread:The Poser Diaries..

[technoraj2004]

PoserX meets a Zen Master....

(techno tip - Zen masters sayings require enlightenment to understand. Any poser with over 50 crashes qualifies.

Zen masters carry a short staff with which they whack the heads of disciples if they do not understand.)

Hey bikers... saw a simple buddisht monk today.. me being the most irritating guy I decided to harass him... asked him what he specializes in.. His question to me was"What kind of creature are you?".. I reply "human o monk! dont be fooled by the yellow hair and open chested shirt and hanging bling.. He said "your kind should have become extinct long ago." I asked sarcastically for some gyaan..

A Q&A session started:

ZM(Zen Master): Zen is like gold and dung. Before you understand it is gold, after you understand it is dung.

PoserX: Umm dunno about dung.. Ask dung tasting posers.. Some say its bitter.. PoserY especially likes buffaloes. His RX 135 is half broken from buffalo crashes.

WHACK!

ZM: Before enlightenment I chopped wood and carried water. After enlightenment I chopped wood and carried water.

PoserX: Before crashing I ride at 100+ kmph. After crashing I ride at 100 kmph+. and crash again.

WHACK!

ZM: No snowflake falls in the wrong place.

PoserX: Exactly. No poser falls on smooth road.. we have variety. Muncipal bins, dung patches, mud patches.. you name it we crashed there.

WHACK!

ZM: The quieter you become the more you are able to hear.

PoserX: The louder we become the less we hear. and miss those damned yelping canines or buffaloes just until the last moment.... Then DADT (Dont Ask Dont Tell).

WHACK!

ZM: If your try to aim for it, you are turning away from it.

PoserX: I disagree. PoserY once tried to pull off a long christ and had to avoid a cyclist at short notice. He hit a pothole went flying and fell with pinpoint accuracy into a shallow well.

WHACK! (Ow. my head...)

ZM: Every exit is an entry somewhere else.

PoserX: Yeah last time I tried a cornering exit, I sent out a mud spray and 3 vegetable vendors gave a sound thrashing and had to shell out 1000 bucks..

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! (Boo Hoo Hoo my poor head. Its not an anvil!)

The ZM is disgusted and leaves me with a bunch of painful bumps on the head.my head looks like a bushel of potatoes..gotta fin painkillers..

(Next: Uncle Poser..)

[cyclone2k]

Sounds like that was a combo of wet and dirt race, lol. Indeed those guys are lame, how would a chick recognise, that the biker was indeed Rossi? or, maybe he was someone else?? They really need to work out a lot to be a true Poser, just riding Poser class bikes isn't enough, ain't it?

BTW, glad to know you got yourself vaccines, else I'd have to stay away from this thread...

[abhishekgyani]

Great one.

[ajinkya]

we want more
This is too good

[saj]

oh god! i missed this

[technoraj2004]

Poser tries track skills...

[chicane1879]

pramit bhai....kouthi thila??

Keep ur brilliant'ism ON!!

[cyclone2k]

ROFL, can just imagine the scene! D00d, your return just owned my off-mood... I just returned after having a tensed session with some maamus over letting me go in No Entry, your dosage just cured the headache! Also, your new sig is pwn4g3!!

Poser X seems still be having roots in ground and doesn't discriminate two-wheelers, that so emotional!

[L.P.]

Allright guys!! Enough obituaries for me..

Thanks L.P., cyclone and ankit for keeping this thread alive.. Many thanks to your kind words..

(Coming up: The much anticipated PoserX takes on the Chetak)

Request please repost any content you have of my posts as I have lost my backups.

I promise I will make that blasted %&$# xbhp hacker sit on heated underseat silencers if I ever catch him. grrrr. PoserX agrees on the same too but he wants to introduce sharp parts to tender regions but I have him on leash on humanitarian grounds.

Welcome Back Sir... it has been days..
We serioulsy missed you...Glad YOU are back..
with your new signature.. shall we search her somewhere on the poles..
ya firr 1 khurpi laaaun..?? usse road pe se ukhaadne k liye.??

[technoraj2004]

[ankit mishra]

hi Techno,
give me your mail ID... I'll mail entire poser series back to you..

and the best would be that you yourself post it on the thread...

I think janta will like it that way more...


reproduced work of a maestro never sells as the maestro himself.

ankit.

[ankit mishra]

girl poser...

(techno tip: Girls posers exist too.... and problem is they are even more reckless and dangerous than the guys in every way. And believe me, a guy can forgive another guy for aggressive overtaking, never a girl

Slight rain and dung on the road combined with a speeding bike can have interesting results.)

Hey I am baccck.. PoserX has finally returned to his posing. 2 months after my crash, I have decided to..

i. pose only near girls colleges.
ii. no heavy duty stunting.
iii. bike modding postponed for now. (have decided to paint my Pulsar 180 bright pink as girls love pink).

See. posing is now gonna be risk free. So, PoserZ, my Honda "CB1000F" friend and me decide to pay a newly opened girls college a visit. Now, PoserZ is naturally nervous about his bike as he had a very bad experience during his offroading stint with me. So makes certain that we dont race guys at all. He tells me in his fake John Abraham accent" Let only ZMAs and P220s pass. Nothing else". See how magnanimous is PoserZ. he is actually letting guys overtake him.

Now on the road we ride a bit "slowly" at 70 kmph. Suddenly we spot a couple of girls riding their Activas and Scootys ahead, all in jeans and assorted wear. Cute looking girls.. he he he.. Now at the red light ahead we pull up next to them... Now most of them take one look at us and giggle... (Must be our macho looks). When the light turns green a chick on a silver activa starts to zoom off.. We overtake her and PoserZ comments that no girl can beat us...

Suddenly... a silver streak passes us from the left and rockets off. PoserZ is dumbfounded.. HOW DARE A GIRL OVERTAKE US?? GRRRRRRR. Both of us are heated up and start racing. But what we see dismays us.... That girl is weaving in and out of traffic and that too without caring.. PoserZ aggresively follows her with me in hot pursuit. Autos, cars, bikes we care for nothing. 3 rides and ultra fast reckless riding. HAVE TO BEAT THAT GIRL...

We near a slightly crowded place and the girls suddenly slows down without warning.. PoserZ applies brakes with all his might.. But how come a Boxer gonna stop at 70 kmph only on drum brakes!!!!!. God save him..

CRASHHHHHHHHH.

The girl is down and slightly bleeding and PoserZ has scratched his a$$ on the road pretty bad and people are already beginning to thrash him up for ramming into the girl. WHAT A SCENE... I run to his rescue and somehow manage to extricate him from the situation. Now, PoserZ runs for his life and mounts his bike and zooms off. I follow suit soon.

As I forgot to mention before, it was an overcast day and it was already drizzling a bit. Now we come to a semi-highway with a little traffic and PoserZ is angry for not being able to pose.. He vrooms at a high speed and I too follow suit.... and when we realize the road ahead is covered with a smear of dung where a herd of cows had defecated while passing.. Now a P-180 and Boxer at 80 - 90 on a wet road with dung... Perfect recipe for a crash...

PoserZ's bike starts fishtailing and slaloming like a drunk and me following suit a cuple of seconds later. Now just when we look like gaining a bit of control..

A GODDAMN EMPTY TROLLEY IS PARKED BESIDE THE ROAD with an autorickshaw in the right.... NO ROOMTO SWERVE...

A loud WHUMP later, a vision of "The Flying Posers" is seen. PoserZ lands on the roof of the auto and my head somehow manages to tear through the back of the auto canopy and I am stuck like a guy with his head stuck in the auto's behind.

The auto driver thinks we are hooligans and calls his pals and we get a sound thrashing...

Thank God our bikes are not too badly damaged...

(Next: Poser goes advanced modding...)

[ankit mishra]

welcome back --the king.

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[technoraj2004]

Ahem Ahem!!!!

Allright guys!! Enough obituaries for me..

Thanks L.P., cyclone and ankit for keeping this thread alive.. Many thanks to your kind words..

(Coming up: The much anticipated PoserX takes on the Chetak)

Request please repost any content you have of my posts as I have lost my backups.

I promise I will make that blasted %&$# xbhp hacker sit on heated underseat silencers if I ever catch him. grrrr. PoserX agrees on the same too but he wants to introduce sharp parts to tender regions but I have him on leash on humanitarian grounds.

[ankit mishra]

for those who are new to this thread...

the POSER diaries were never my brain child...

these were conceived and written by Mr. TechnoRaj and since he has not joined the forum so I'm posting it on his behalf.
All humble kudos to Mr. TechnoRaj.