Thanks all for the help till now.
I have come home without crossing 70 km/hr today. After reading many comments here from the office, I have the following points to make -
1) Sorry for being unable to name the suggester but one thing I noticed is that I am engrossed in other thoughts all the time whether I am riding or not. I am a scientist by profession and thinking is my 'forte'. When I ride fast, my thoughts vanish and I concentrate on the road better. It may be one of the reasons, but I am riding fast from ages and when I was a kid I never thought that much.
2) One good suggestion I came across was to leave early. This would help at times.
3) The thought that someone would hit me from behind crosses my mind too often and I want to be the fastest on the road just to avoid this thing from happening.
4) Regarding being an irresponsible and dangerous rider for other commuters - I left riding motorcycle when I was 29.. but realised that I am driving way too fast and I may harm someone who would change lane without looking in the rear view. I then bought my second bike (Fazer - to answere a ques in this thread) and have been riding it when the weather is fine that is when its not raining.
The problem with me is that I am too concerned about others and this thread is just to avoid causing harm to anyone as I know that I am riding too rash now. I really dont care about my life. The only thing I pray is - If I fall, either I should rise unharmed or die. Dont want to cause burden to anyone by living in a wheelchair.
5) There are some other suggestions like - meet an accident and slow down. I dont think that would help me. I have seen nearly all the accidents on liveleak.com and there was a similar website called ogrish.com which converted to liveleak later.. these contain some gruesome accident videos. I dont enjoy watching them, just watch them to get an insight of causes of various accidents.
6) Would try meditation from tomorrow morning.
Thanks again for the suggestions. If I was to die today, you saved me!


I also have that anxiety that somebody would fender bender me. I developed this phobia from bicycling on the narrow NH37 where truckers and express buses' handyman would either piss, throw hot water or whack us bicyclists with a stick from moving bus for no apparent reason.


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