that's a sensible deed on your part.

Hi Sunny,

the first long rides are always special for everybody, just like you.

We could feel your happiness oozing out in your blog.

However, as everyone pointed out here, it is not a wise idea to keep your parents in dark about your travel plans. The fact that your parents probably wouldn't understand your passion is something we've all been through. It is going to take some time before they understand it. Even if they understand it, they are more concerned about your safety rather than your passion.

The only way to convince them is to show that you are a sensible and responsible rider and would not do stupid things while on the road. It is going to take some time but eventually they will understand.

Now, while posting on xBhp there are few rules that you must follow or else your posts will be removed immediately and you might face ban:
1. Do not post in SMS language. Dis iz nOt d wAy U shud rite on xBhp...Got it?
2. Do not make consecutive posts. Edit your previous post if nobody has posted after you on your thread. Edit/Append it if you want to add something.
3. To reply many people at a time, please use the multi-quote button.

Please read this thread to know how to use the multi-quote button.


Also this thread might help you on how to convince your parents



@all: Please do not be so harsh and judgemental. We all have committed some stupid things in the past and I think we all have evolved as a biker over the time. Please guide him as to what the correct way is, just pointing out mistakes won't do.

thank you sunilg

well as this was my first trip & blog here, so sorry for the mistakes here. I will always keep in mind the points & suggestions you all gave.

Some advice

@SunilG. Thank you for a most timely intervention and sane advice. SMS language is increasing on xbhp and it is most rude to the eyes. Thanks again.

Sunny,
I am going to tell you the ghastly story of my nephew whose brains spilled out on the road when he hit a truck from the rear, at night, without a helmet and WITHOUT HIS PARENTS KNOWING WHERE HE WAS. His mother, my cousin, thought that he had gone in a bus to visit another of his friend a couple of hundred kms away. When she did get to know of his whereabouts, it was from the city hospital to tell her to reach there to claim the body. Apparently, he went to visit his friend on a bike and the two of them were returning home at night when the truck they were following slammed the brakes hard. The pillion flew off to land in the ditch. But the rider was catapulted forward by the sudden brake application, straight onto the steel chassis member of the truck. His head (without a helmet) struck the steel member, his skull was split open like a walnut and he was dead before he hit the ground. His mother is a changed woman now. The spark in her eyes is dulled and sometimes, I see a wistful look in her eyes and I know she remembers her son and wants him so very badly. What is keeping her from dying inside is her daughter. The body heals but the heart never stops bleeding.

Why I have written this in graphic detail is that this would have been the state of YOUR MOTHER had something similar happened to you. Knowing the kid is going out prepares parents mentally for the risks. Not knowing is causing them the greatest trauma a child can subject them to.

There are many young men, of your age, in a particular organisation leading troops against militants in the disturbed parts of our country. Similarly aged men are leading 2 aircraft formations in mock battles in our skies. Others are braving storms on warships and setting examples to enlisted men on how to command RESPECT. They are all below 25 or 26, yet are immensely mature in what they do. Their parents know the attendant risks and have braced themselves for the worst; their parents are prepared. And here, we have you, of a similar age, not informing possibly your nearest and dearest ones about your escapade? This speaks very poorly indeed of your maturity, sense of responsibility and awareness of parent-child relationships. You are NOT a child anymore. You are a grown man with a job at Hexaware. Will your company retain you if you tell your boss, with the same cavalier nonchalance that you exhibited here, about your trip? Think.

How do you earn the respect of your parents so that they enjoy your rides through your eyes and your narrations and photos?( Kids are unconditionally loved by parents but respect is a different matter altogether) By being sensitive to their fears and allaying them through information of your thorough preparations - gear, route charts, schedules, details down to the last nut, bolt and washer, peer meetings etc. Why? So that your parents realise that you are a MAN now, not a child. You are capable to understanding the risks, preparing for them, handling them when they become dangers and emerging from them, a little scarred but still wiser, still more mature. Do this and see the new-found respect in your parents eyes and the expression in especially your mother's eyes - mera baccha ab bada ho gaya hai...

Why am I writing so much? "cause I have a 14 year old son who is learning to ride his mother's Dio under my supervision. In a blink of an eye, he will be 20 plus and I will get him his own bike. If he does something like this, I will be half-dead with worry, NOT anger. Just thinking of that causes my eyes to moisten while I am writing this.

Trust your parents to trust you and I am 100% sure that you father will gift you the best helmet and gloves and gear in town.

Regards,

Maneesh

Icemang, very well said, this is the same point I was trying to make, but the kids misunderstood me.

well..there must be a reason why you all are asking me to inform my parents.
i understood i now. sorry for being so late. please forgive me since i'm still a small kid.

I PROMISE YOU ALL THAT I WON'T HIDE MY PLANS FROM MY PARENTS ANYMORE !. I will always tell them about my trip before leaving, even if they deny, i will try to convince them.
I now know that it was mistake done by me. But now I will always tell them in advance about my trip.

If i face any problem regarding the same then i will ask you guys for help, so be ready to help me

i'm planning to hit the roads soon.
THIS MONTH mumbai-banglore-mumbai [ this time i'll definitely tell my mom dad ].

thank you all for making me realize my stupid action.It won't be done ever again & sorry once again. !

i am 20,if i say i am mature that would be most-unmature thing to say on my part,i had quite a few escapades,some of them thoroughly planned ,some of them in a frenzy.my parents know most of them.so they have grounded me,cause my fault was i told them everything.being parents is different thing altogether,i understand your concern,i am sorry to hear about your nephew,not all youngsters are like that,atleast not me.hope my parents understand me gradually.

Much ado about nothing!

@Maneeshji:

My Parents are not into biking. As a matter of fact, nobody and I say NOBODY in my entire family tree is into biking.

I'm 21. I have an elder brother who's 26 and married. When I asked him to buy a helmet since it was just recently made compulsory (which is why he agreed and not out of any safety reasons) he got a Vega worth 250bucks. When I was like he stated it has an ISI mark. I belong to a family of arrogant and ridiculously obstinate males. When I (very politely) tried to explain the need for proper helmets given safety being a concern they said, 'Hum koi teri tarha kal hi nahi seekhe hai gaadi chalaana. Hum mat sikhaa kya zaruri hai aur kya nahi. Jaa pehle dhang se gaadi chalana seekh. Office se ghar aate aate gaadi ko dus baar bandh kar deta hai. Jab dekho faaltu ki bakwas.' I flipped and walked into my room.

I've been slogging my behind in the family business for over 3 years now. 3 years of slogging+begging (quite literally) for a bike.

When they finally agreed to buy me a bike, I took my dad to the Yamaha showroom and showed him the R15v2.0
We came back without booking a bike.

The Splendor that stalls 10times while I'm riding it doesnt even idle when kickstarted and left even on a hot summer morning. I,unlike my father, dont EVER pull the throttle 1st and then leave the cluth making the engine vibrate like tractor. I play in sync,which is why it stalls.


Commanding respect is THE most convoluted statement i've seen being used more than google.
It IS hideously subjective and hurts the sentiments of the likes of me.

My R15v2.0 is booked. Needless to say after a stern and I mean STERN rebellion.
I have without the knowledge of my parents asked a 3riend in Bangalore to get a pair of elbow+knee guards and a helmet more than 12 times than what my brother had got earlier (its either a LS2 or Sol Black Dragon which ever he finds more comfortable). I will have to make an excuse for the gears. And I will. I will have to spin several stories about my roadtrips to follow. Amd I most certainly will.
Carrying a business card (which I always have and I always will) might not make me a responsible biker but not telling the truth about my trips to my family will not make me a negligent,irresponsible biker either.



P.S: You're twice my age too. With all due sincere respect, you should know the minimum age to ride a motorcyle is 16 and that too a 50cc gearless 4T,not a 102cc Dio.


Please do not find any offense anywhere in this
post. If at all you do, I humbly apologize for the unintended.


Regards,
Me.

Shabash. Now this is what I call being a man - accepting your mistake with squared shoulders and resolving to not repeat it.

The first time, your parents will throw a huge fit, lots of shouting, screaming (father) and huge rivers of tears (mother). Then, when they see you wilting and looking like a little lost puppy, they will melt (the mother definitely shows that she has melted, the father also melts but men don't show their emotions so he just shrugs his shoulders ) and will let you out with one million cautions and two millions questions. When you bombard them with details as I mentioned in the earlier post, their fears and concerns will be answered and they will feel confident that YOU are confident, got that? After that, be ready to discuss all your trips in details with them and you will see for yourself as to how pleased they are. It works, always, every time, without fail. And don't forget, they will boast about you to their friends and relatives - my son goes from Mumbai to Bangalore on his bike, looking so smart in jacket, gloves and helmet, solid chap, kisi ki nazar lag na jaye, we will have to start looking for a good girl for him etc etc.

And when this stage is reached, how happy will you be... because your mom and dad are happy with your happiness.

That is why I said UNDER MY SUPERVISION meaning with me on the pillion always.

As for the rest, what can I say when you deride your family in public in this manner. Better for me to keep silent. You can take a horse to the river but you cannot make him drink...

Sunny, Dont worry mate..!!

Many from here, including myself have committed such mistakes in the 'initial' times..!! More than the words, try to extract the purpose of each post from the fellow bikers.! The only reason behind their posts was - 'Concern'.
So just chill, take time to convey parents. And then see, how happy will you be, when they bid you bye happily while you start the ride early morning.!

Maybe, its time for you to go through this thread

Congratulations to you for completing a lovely ride. I am glad your trip was safe. Being a parent myself I agree with Sunilg wholeheartedly.

Read inbetween the lines,Sir.
Some parents are highly conservative and sternly orthodox minded. Convincing someone with a closed mindset is highly subjective. And criticizing someone on the same grounds was wrong.


As for your son, teaching an underage kid how to ride even if under your 'highly professional' supervision doesnt make you any less irresponsible. But what can I say, he's your son, not mine. Better for me to keep silent. Afterall,its the adage of the horse who wasnt thirsty.

Thank you!

i second that.

I disagree with you completely. Nobody is deriding their parents over here, merely accepting the fact that some people are conservative and will never understand and this I say based on personal experience. Just because you are an understanding parent (and envy your child(ren) for that) doesn't not mean the rest of the planet is as fortunate. I've had the experience of trying to explain a single view point to my parents right from the age of 16 to the age of 30 (I'm 34 now) and NEVER succeeded despite showing them success in my way of doing things and not unlike others I had to rebel and rebel hard to have my way and live the life I wanted to lead. I have no regrets in doing so and I honestly don't think Sunny did anything wrong here to deserve the wrath of so many. Yes it would be stupid if nobody knew about his whereabouts but given that he had the good sense to keep in touch with senior members (which he mentioned early on) I think what you are doing now (enforcing YOUR view point on him) tantamounts to bullying which is uncalled for and unnecessary.

Oh come on. You know it as well as I do that there are plenty senior members who offer half truths and complete lies at work, at home (parents/girl friends/wives) to fullfill their desire for riding. So long as you are geared and carrying all the information and keeping SOMEONE responsible informed it shouldn't be a problem. This is NOT a mistake merely acceptance of a fact that people can't/won't/don't sometimes understand our perspective to riding and we either have a choice of causing them great grief or circumventing it - and YES I have personally tried to explain things to people but sometimes they just dont want to understand.

+1,000,000

How do you know? What if it causes anger and anguish in his father who lands up blaming his mother and this thing turns into a family fiasco? What happens if his bike gets taken away for good? Don't you think it would perhaps be better NOT to assume knowledge of his family's dynamics before offering suggestions? All of us, each one of us, have VERY different dynamics - my views are different from yours simply because my experience differs from yours and so will his experience be different. And instead of assuming that we know his family better than he does, we should instead appreciate the fact that he kept people in the loop on his own (which by the way everyone seems to have conveniently neglected in their pro-parent tirade).

Anyway since Sunny seems to be open to letting his parents know, good for him. But I don't see why this entire thread had to take such a bullying tone. I still say he did nothing wrong.