Since '02 xBhp is different things to different people. From a close knit national community of bikers to India's only motorcycling lifestyle magazine and a place to make like-minded biker friends. Join us

Castrol Power 1

Fatigue, sleepiness, & alcohol are the same.

Our Partners

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    There was this robbery in
    Guangzhou , the robber shouted to
    everyone: "All don't move, money
    belongs to the state, life belongs to
    you".
    Everyone in the bank laid down
    quietly.
    This is called "Mind Changing
    Concept --> Changing the
    conventional way of thinking".
    -------------------------------------------------
    One lady lay on the table
    provocatively, the robber shouted at
    her "Please be civilised! This is a
    robbery and not a rape!"
    This is called "Being Professional -->
    Focus only on what you are trained to
    do!"
    -------------------------------------------------
    When the robbers got back, the
    younger robber (MBA trained) told
    the older robber (who is only primary
    school educated), "Big bro, let's count
    how much we got", the older robber
    rebutted and said, "You very stupid,
    so much money, how to count, tonight
    TV will tell us how much we robbed
    from the bank!"
    This is called "Experience -->
    nowadays experience is more
    important than paper qualifications!"
    -------------------------------------------------
    After the robbers left, the bank
    manager told the bank supervisor to
    call the police quickly. The supervisor
    says "Wait, wait wait, let's put the 5
    million RMB we embezzled into the
    amount the robbers robbed".
    This is called "Swim with the tide -->
    converting an unfavorable situation
    to your advantage!"
    -------------------------------------------------
    The supervisor says "It will be good if
    there is a robbery every month".
    This is called "Killing Boredom -->
    Happiness is most important."
    -------------------------------------------------
    The next day, TV news reported that
    100 million RMB was taken from the
    bank. The robbers counted and
    counted and counted, but they could
    only count 20 million RMB. The
    robbers were very angry and
    complained "We risked our lives and
    only took 20 million RMB, the bank
    manager took 80 million RMB with a
    snap of his fingers. It looks like it is
    better to be educated to be a thief!"
    This is called "Knowledge is worth as
    much as gold !"
    -------------------------------------------------
    The bank manager was smiling and
    happy because his loss in the
    CINOPEC shares are now covered by
    this robbery.
    This is called "Seizing the
    opportunity --> daring to take
    risks!"

    The Dream come true


    Comment


    • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

      Murphys Funny laws: 😆

      1) Law of Queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

      2) Law of Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone.😅

      3) Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

      4) Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.😐

      6) Bath Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

      7) Law of Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

      8) Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. 

      9) Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 

      10) Theatre Rule: People with the seats at the furthest from the screen arrive last. 😅

      11) Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will
      last until the coffee is cold. 😩

      12) Law of Proposal : After u accept a proposal you will get a better one..

      The Dream come true


      Comment


      • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

        Sardar ne Railway reservation form main L**g ke saamne Likkha = 8 Inch
        Lady Clerk:- Ye kya hai?? Kaato ese.
        Sardar: Kitna Kaatoon??
        Lady Clerk:- Poora Kaato Aur Kya..
        Sardar:- Apni M** Chu**** Salo Main to Bus main hi chala jaaunga....

        - - - Updated - - -

        1 Bhakt Nirmal Baba Se Bola:- Baba Ji har Saal Bacche Ho jaate hai bada pareshan Hu kya karu kuch Upaye batao.
        Nirmal Baba:- Beta ye batao Condom Use Karte ho??
        Bhakt: Karta hu Baba..
        Nirmal Baba:- Condoms Mohalle main Baant do, Kripa Wahi se aa rahi hai...

        - - - Updated - - -

        Baba Ramdev:- Beta Apne se Badi Naari ko Maa, Barabar wali ko Behan aur apne se choti ko beti mana karo.
        Bhakt:- To Baba ji ye L***a Aap hi rakh Lo Mere to kisi kaam ka raha nahi aapke jadi booti kootne ke kaam aayega..
        Last edited by sumitro_d; 05-24-2013, 06:36 PM.

        Comment


        • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

          Originally posted by sumitro_d View Post
          Sardar ne Railway reservation form main Ling ke saamne Likkha = 8 Inch
          Lady Clerk:- Ye kya hai?? Kaato ese.
          .
          .
          .
          jadi booti kootne ke kaam aayega..
          Bro, please avoid fully exposed vulgar words. You can edit your post and add *'s wherever required.
          Samajhdaar ko ishaara kaafi hota hai.

          Thanks.
          Got a $5 head? Get a $5 helmet.
          Because everyone who passes, isn't a martyr!

          Bullet Service Guide CBR 250R Parts Manual Fz16 service manual - https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1-...VFQmJzakk/view
          Hero Moto Corp Bikes' Parts RE STD 350 Wiring Diagram (CI) Service Manual - Classic 350/500
          ZMR parts - https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-U...it?usp=sharing
          P200NS Spares' prices - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/...taGd5R2c#gid=0

          Comment


          • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

            [MENTION=55222]Praj zm[/MENTION], excellent. My chilhood almost flashed in front of me .


            Click image for larger version

Name:	181440_534398056595911_1469911311_n.jpg
Views:	1
Size:	36.0 KB
ID:	1846246

            Cheers!
            VJ
            Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
            The girl said, 'NO!'


            And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


            THE END

            Comment


            • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

              Skill is what keeps you on a Motorcycle
              Awareness + Skill is what keeps you out of harm's way
              ATGATT + Awareness + Skill means you might Live To Ride another day

              Comment


              • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                Originally posted by aargee View Post
                Enna koduma Aargee Sir Ithu
                Splendor - 2k to 2006
                Karizma - 2k3 to 2009
                P180 - 2k6 to 2k9
                Hunk - Oct 2k7 til now
                ZMR - 2010 to Forever
                RX135(2k) - 2013 to 2018
                Ninja 250R (2010) - 2016 til now
                RayZ - 2015 til now
                Ninja 650 (2014) - 2017 til now


                Delhi to Narkanda
                Delhi to Coimbatore
                Delhi to Nepal

                Comment


                • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                  SVC: Sir, We've filled in one full tank petrol in your car sir.
                  Customer: WTF?
                  SVC: Sir, it's an offer sir.
                  Customer: Do you understand that my car runs on Diesel?

                  SVC: Sir, Why didn't you tell us what your car runs on in the first place?

                  Full audio here> https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151448776246973

                  Comment


                  • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                    Originally posted by Ezilkannan View Post
                    You a gun nut man? Well, guns only kill people if spoons make people fat

                    Well, that explains Rosie O'Donnel....
                    I am back!

                    Comment


                    • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                      Originally posted by sumitro_d View Post
                      Sorry Pic is not in proper size.
                      Can't read buddy
                      OF THE BIKERS, BY THE BIKERS, FOR THE BIKERs

                      Comment


                      • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                        2013 R15(Sold) | 2014-?? Duke 390

                        Comment


                        • Ride like you are invisible.

                          Comment


                          • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                            dear bro..
                            i'm really worried i've been afraid my wife has been fooling around on me.
                            So i hid behind the shop the other night when
                            i saw her getting out of some one else's truck buttoning her shirt.
                            I squated down behind my bike as she pulled
                            her panties out of her purse and put them on.
                            As i hid behind my bike i noticed the swing arm was cracked
                            do you think i can weld it or do i need to replace it??

                            Comment


                            • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                              What happens when a lady visit a Gynecologist who is a male doctor?

                              LADY : Doctor please call in my husband
                              .
                              .
                              .


                              DOCTOR : Trust me, I am a gentleman.
                              .
                              .
                              .
                              .
                              LADY : No doc, your nurse is sitting outside alone and my husband is not a gentleman
                              Skill is what keeps you on a Motorcycle
                              Awareness + Skill is what keeps you out of harm's way
                              ATGATT + Awareness + Skill means you might Live To Ride another day

                              Comment


                              • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                                Originally posted by B7ACKTHORN View Post
                                @Praj zm, excellent. My childhood almost flashed in front of me .

                                Cheers!
                                VJ
                                thanks dude
                                great to know that it cherished childhood memories of so many members

                                The Dream come true


                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X