Darn so so true!



LOL!



Cheers!
VJ

HA HA HA!!!






Cheers!
VJ

FORD explained....Find them On the Road...

Two WIFES ...?

There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.


Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor?
The perfect woman.
She’s the only one that really existed in the first place.


Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.


* A Male’s Response *
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

The Brave Bustardo
=============


A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. 'I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.'


So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the
party run to the pool to see what has happened.


In the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.


The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, 'I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?' the millionaire asks.


The guy grabs the microphone and says, 'Why don't we start with the name of the bastard that pushed me in!'

Cheers!
VJ

Fall was upon a remote reservation when the Indian tribe asked their new Chief what the coming winter was going to be like. The modern day Chief had never been taught the secrets of the ancients. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.


Better safe than sorry, he said to himself and told his tribe that the winter was indeed expected to be cold and that the members of the village should
stock up on firewood to be prepared.


After several days, our modern Chief got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"


"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.


So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"


"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."


The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"


"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever."


"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.


The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."

Fabulous, thoroughly enjoyed it.

Cheers!
VJ