ROTFL Too much work...

Is this called crucifiction on a motorcycle.



Cheers!
VJ

A couple at doctor's clinic...

Doctor : Your husband needs a very good rest; here, use these sleeping pills
Wife : When should I give him? Should I give him one or half?
Doctor : This pills are not for him, it's for you. If your husband needs good rest & needs to recover faster, this is the only way!!!

Cheers!
VJ

Caution - You've the right to remain silent; if you give up this right, anything that you say can be used against you from the next second...

Cheers!
VJ

Son :"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"
Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son : "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter"
Father : "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that!!! I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister."


The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later...


Son : "Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter!"
Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son : "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father : "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister."


This went on couple of times and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying


Son : "Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because daddys their father!"


The mother hugshim affectionately and says:


"My love, you can date whoever you want. Dont listen to him He isn't your father."!!!


Son Fainted...!!!

SILENCE!
------------------------


There once was a farmer who discovered that he had lost his watch in the barn. It was no ordinary watch because it had sentimental value for him. After searching high and low among the hay for a long while; he gave up and enlisted the help of a group of children playing outside the barn. He promised them that the person who found it would be rewarded.


Hearing this, the children hurried inside the barn, went through and around the entire stack of hay but still could not find the watch.


Just when the farmer was about to give up looking for his watch, a little boy went up to him and asked to be given another chance. The farmer looked at him and thought, "Why not? After all, this kid looks sincere enough. So the farmer sent the little boy back in the barn.


After a while the little boy came out with the watch in his hand! The farmer was both happy and surprised and so he asked the boy how he succeeded where the rest had failed.


The boy replied, "I did nothing but sit on the ground and listen. In the silence, I heard the ticking of the watch and just looked for it in that direction.


MORAL:


A peaceful mind can think better than a worked up mind. Allow a few minutes of silence to your mind every day, and see, how sharply it helps you to set your life the way you expect it to be...!

Woman comes home and tells her husband "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."


"No more headaches?" The husband asks, "What happened?"


His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It worked. The headaches are all gone."


His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"


The husband agrees to try it...


Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and Jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.


His wife says, "Damn! That was wonderful!"


The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning..


Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying,


She's not my wife.
She's not my wife.
She's not my wife.


Note:-
His funeral service will be held today!!!

At a wedding ceremony at Church...

Kid : Why does the bride wear white color dress?
Mother : White color symbolizes happiness & today is the happiest day for her
Kid : Then why does the groom wear black color suit?

Valentine day tip...
Surprise your girlfriend this Valentine's Day
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
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Introduce her to your wife

This is ultimate...

Ok, the latest one on Rajinikanth.

One day Rajini went to the church for a confession.
.
.
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.
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End result - Pope resigned!

(source - FB)

What MOVIES TEACH US..


1. At least one of the identical twins
is born evil. :-(


2. While defusing a b0mb, do not
w0rry, which ever wire y0u cut
y0u always ch0ose the right one. ;-)


3. A hero will sh0w no pain, while
getting beaten up; but will sh0w
pain when a girl cleans up his
wound. :-D


4. A detective can solve a case
onlywhen he is suspended from
duty. :-D


5. If you decide to start dancing on
the street, every0ne you meet
will kn0w the steps :-D:-D

Cheers!
VJ