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  • If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman

    He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility ...

    Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'

    A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'

    Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'

    A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'

    Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'

    A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'

    Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'

    A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

    Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'

    A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'

    Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

    A: 'Yes, sir.'

    Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'

    A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

    The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
    Last edited by aargee; 02-25-2013, 11:44 AM.
    Skill is what keeps you on a Motorcycle
    Awareness + Skill is what keeps you out of harm's way
    ATGATT + Awareness + Skill means you might Live To Ride another day

    Comment


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      Even though there was a blizzard raging outside, I made it the half-mile to the bakery, where I asked the owner for six rolls.
      “Your wife must like rolls,” he said. “How do you know these are for my wife?” I asked.
      “Because your mother wouldn’t send you out in weather like this.”

      Cheers!
      VJ
      Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
      The girl said, 'NO!'


      And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


      THE END

      Comment


      • WOW !!! Fabulous good posts....The posts are not only in good spirit but also make you think.....
        When Was The Last Time,You Did Something For The First Time.

        Comment


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          Do check out my Photography page on fb :)
          http://www.facebook.com/KeshavsFotugraphy

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          • Virginity Test
            Banta: I am getting married. How would I know if my wife is a virgin?

            Santa: Get an Irish Virginity test kit.

            Banta: What's that?

            Santa: Get a Can of Red Paint, a can of Blue Paint and a Shovel.

            Banta: What ? Are you mad?

            Santa: Paint your right Ball Red and Left Ball Blue and as you remove your underwear, if your wife says, 'that's the strangest pair of balls I've ever seen' Hit her head with the Shovel !
            Do check out my Photography page on fb :)
            http://www.facebook.com/KeshavsFotugraphy

            Comment


            • A very nice collection of quotations for women







              Cheers!
              VJ
              Last edited by The Monk; 02-26-2013, 04:38 PM. Reason: Images were not attached properly
              Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
              The girl said, 'NO!'


              And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


              THE END

              Comment


              • Be cautious on what you teach your kid; it's not just with the court that anything said by you can be used against you, it's true also with kids...


                A curious child asked her mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?

                The smart (ass) mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!

                The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.
                Skill is what keeps you on a Motorcycle
                Awareness + Skill is what keeps you out of harm's way
                ATGATT + Awareness + Skill means you might Live To Ride another day

                Comment


                • Who is deaf?

                  Boy 1 : Poor girl, she's deaf; I said something & she replies something to it
                  Boy 2 : Why? What happened?
                  Boy 1 : I said I love you & she says she'll hit me with slippers!!!
                  Skill is what keeps you on a Motorcycle
                  Awareness + Skill is what keeps you out of harm's way
                  ATGATT + Awareness + Skill means you might Live To Ride another day

                  Comment


                  • Timing is everything...


                    Man 1 : Last week, I went for shopping & the cops arrested me
                    Man 2 : Shopping? They arrested you for shopping? What the hell???
                    Man 1 : Yes, for shopping; I went for shopping in the night after they closed for the day
                    Skill is what keeps you on a Motorcycle
                    Awareness + Skill is what keeps you out of harm's way
                    ATGATT + Awareness + Skill means you might Live To Ride another day

                    Comment


                    • Science Professor : If a girl falls unconscious, give her mouth 2 mouth, blow air into her lungs and keep on pressing her chest with both your palms in quick succession...any questions..?

                      Student : How to make her unconscious?
                      Skill is what keeps you on a Motorcycle
                      Awareness + Skill is what keeps you out of harm's way
                      ATGATT + Awareness + Skill means you might Live To Ride another day

                      Comment


                      • Levels of Stress

                        Probably a old joke, but, gives me a smile till date...


                        You pick up a hitchhiker, a beautiful young girl. Suddenly she faints inside your car & you take her to hospital.

                        Now that's stressful

                        But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant & congratulate you that you are going to be a Father.

                        You say that you are not the Father, but the girl says you are.

                        This is getting very stressful

                        So then, you request a DNA test to prove that you are not the Father

                        After the tests are completed, the doctor says that you are infertile, and probably have been since birth.

                        You are extremely stressed but relieved.

                        On your way home, you think about your 3 kids.

                        NOW THAT'S STRESS!!!
                        Skill is what keeps you on a Motorcycle
                        Awareness + Skill is what keeps you out of harm's way
                        ATGATT + Awareness + Skill means you might Live To Ride another day

                        Comment


                        • Skill is what keeps you on a Motorcycle
                          Awareness + Skill is what keeps you out of harm's way
                          ATGATT + Awareness + Skill means you might Live To Ride another day

                          Comment


                          • Two misers were arguing who were saving more money...

                            Miser 1 : I save more money than you do; when I got married, I went all alone on my honeymoon & saved the money to be spent on my Wife & that cut my expenses by half
                            Miser 2 : You're boasting too much; when I got married, I saved my entire expenses on my honeymoon
                            Miser 1 : How come?
                            Miser 2 : Haha, there's my sheer intelligence; one of my friend was on his way to Darjeeling; I sent my Wife along with him. Beat that!!!
                            Skill is what keeps you on a Motorcycle
                            Awareness + Skill is what keeps you out of harm's way
                            ATGATT + Awareness + Skill means you might Live To Ride another day

                            Comment


                            • Skill is what keeps you on a Motorcycle
                              Awareness + Skill is what keeps you out of harm's way
                              ATGATT + Awareness + Skill means you might Live To Ride another day

                              Comment


                              • Captain!!! Mind it!!!

                                Last edited by aargee; 02-26-2013, 01:28 PM.
                                Skill is what keeps you on a Motorcycle
                                Awareness + Skill is what keeps you out of harm's way
                                ATGATT + Awareness + Skill means you might Live To Ride another day

                                Comment

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