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[emoji3]

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True Story

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An Old lady gets into the bus and offers the conductor some fried nuts. Conductor without asking eats them. She has been doing this for a while.

The Bus conductor one day asks her - Lady, why are you offering me everyday, you dont you eat them yourself.
Lady replies - I cant , I dont have teeth, but I just love the chocolate around them

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Because we are awesome like that!

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Guys, I'm searching for a video I saw on Fb wherein a Ducati rider slaps the head of an activa rider who cut in front of him. Can anyone help?

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*OT*
Couldn't attach an MP4 file here. Please check your mail.

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I found this fuel saving tip in Suzuki gixxer manual. "If you loose your way and run extra miles. More fuel is consumed".
The dude who wrote is trying very hard to meet his boss's requirement in number of pages.

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Hilariously pathetic English too!

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A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of firecrackers on her right thigh, below her bikini line. She also wants him to put 'Happy Diwali' under the firecrackers.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good.

The woman then instructs him to put a tattoo of buckets of water with 'Happy Holi' up on her left thigh.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too.

As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says, 'If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?'

She said, 'I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Diwali and Holi.'

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A guy goes to his doctor and says, "Doc, I have a problem."

"My girlfriend is sleeping over this Friday, my ex-wife is sleeping over this Saturday and my wife is coming home Sunday."

"I need 3 Viagra pills to satisfy them all."

The doctor says, "You know 3 Viagra pills 3 nights in a row is pretty dangerous for any man. I will give them to you on the condition that you return to my office on Monday so that I can check you out."

The man says, "You have a deal Doc."

Monday morning the man returns with his arm in a sling.

The doctor asks, "What happened"?

The man answered, "Nobody showed up!"

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A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the restroom. A few minutes later, a loud, bloodcurdling scream is heard.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes my nuts really hard."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"

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*A good one* [emoji38][emoji38]

In the middle of a fight, husband said, "Let's not quarrel, let's discuss things sensibly."

"No," said the angry wife, "Every time we discuss sensibly, I lose!"
[emoji16][emoji16][emoji16][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji6][emoji6][emoji6]

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*Smart Answer*[emoji6]


*HR*: Why should I hire you?


.

.

.

*ME*: Mere baad koi aur ayega, phirse interview lena padega, aptitude, technical round, kitna kaam karoge sir wohi salary mein ?

(You'll interview someone else after me, conduct aptitude test, technical rounds...why work so much for the same salary, sir?)

*Hired* [emoji43][emoji12]

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RE fans please dont take it personal and bash me!

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A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with 3 young mothers and their children. "You all have obsessions". he observed.

To the first mother he said, " You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the 2nd mom, "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name- Penny".

At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand, and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go..."

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Well, no one knows!!

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Husband to wife , at lunch: “What is this?
I found quite a few 2 rupee coins in my sambar.”


Wife : “ For the past few days, you have been saying that you would like some change in my cooking !”[emoji3][emoji23]