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What do all the members feel like when they participate in the panel discussion on "News Hour" programme with Arnab Goswami on Times Now news channel??






Cheers,

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"What a pleasant surprise.. You came home early" Wife speaks so gladly.
Husband : "I was forced to do it. I have to obey what my boss told me to do. He ordered: "GO TO HELL"."

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Once a husband said his credit card was stolen but he made his mind to not to go for F.I.R.
Because that thief was spending less than his spouse used to!

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Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

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Kid: I got a 100 marks in school today.
Dad: Wow, what did you get a hundred for?
Kid: Two things -- 50 in English and 50 in Maths.

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A lost dog strays into a jungle. A tiger sees this from a distance and says with caution "this guy looks edible, never seen his kind before". So the tiger starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he's about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly "mmm...that was some good tiger meat!". The tiger abruptly stops and says " woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can". Over by the tree top, a monkey witnessed everything. Evidently, the monkey realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the tiger and getting something in return. So the monkey proceeds to tell the tiger what really happened and the tiger says angrily "get on my back, we'll get him together". So they start rushing back to the dog. The dog sees them and realized what happened and starts to panic even more. He then gets another idea and shouts "where the hell is that monkey! I told him to bring me another tiger an hour ago..."

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A successful marriage is based on 'Give & Take'
Where husband gives money, gifts, dresses & wife takes it.
And Wife gives Advices, lecturer, tensions & husband takes it.

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Judje : Suna hai pichale 10 saal se tmne apni biwi ko dara dhamka k rakha hai.
Santa : Par Janab ..........
Judje : Safai ki jarurat nahi bas itna batao ye tumne kiya kaise.

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Santa sharab pite pite rone laga.
Banta: Kya hua kyo ro rahe ho?
Santa: Yaar ki kara jis ladki ko bhulane k liye pi raha tha,uska naam yaad nhi aa raha hai.

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Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata.

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A blonde goes into a library and says, "Hello. I'm here to see the doctor."
The librarian replies, "This is a library."
So the blonde lowers her voice and says, "Oh sorry!" Then whispers, "I'm here to see the doctor."

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Superb one from frustated married man.

My wife is relative of Nathuram Godse, She kills all the "Gandhis" of my pocket

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Few more to add

{14} Prince cash - Kash-mir
{15} Hi Computer - Del-hi
{16} Chat fort - Chat-is-gargh

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For all the FB fans






Don't know if this one has been posted already but seems to be true in case of Telegu movies!!




Cheers,

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lol

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Indonesian English textbook. Looks like they used Google translate

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Never wear green clothes if you're a news host.
Because,

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These fellas never cease to amuse us!!

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What gives guys? Lots of deleted posts and no hilarity?