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A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon.

When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

"Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.

"Oh mamma!" she exclaimed. "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic!"

No sooner had she spoken the words than she burst out crying. "But mamma . . . as soon as we returned, Banta started using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mamma!"

"Now Preeto . . ." her mother answered. "Calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words has he been using?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mamma." wept the daughter.

"I'm so embarrassed! They're just too awful! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mamma!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset . . .

Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
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Still sobbing, the bride replied, "Oh, mamma . . . words like dust, wash, iron, and cook!"

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Present day scenario of those so called genuine/professional autobloggers :P. . .



Cheers!!!

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Err, I find that an accurate comparison.

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Very wise words:
Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.
Jerry Lewis.

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Lols hehehe too good [emoji106]

God save us from apple [emoji120]

Englishman will loot indians again..... [emoji12]

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A drunk guy was stumbling home one day when he got lost and found himself in the bush. He fell to the ground and noticed a lamp. He picked it up, and rubbed it, and out came a genie.

"You have three wishes, choose them wisely." says the Genie.

The guy, looking down at his last, and empty, bottle of beer, smashes it on some rocks and says, "I want a beer that will never run out."

*Poof*

A bottle appears in front of the guy. He takes it, looks at it, and downs it. He looks at it again, and to his surprise, it was still full. The guy being very content starts walking away.

"Where are you going," asks the Genie, "You still have two wishes left!"

"Well," replies the guy, "Give me TWO more of these!"

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Cheers!!!

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Don't know if this has been posted earlier... but!!:





Cheers,

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Dream wife

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Wife : Kya main tumhaare sapno’n mein aati hoon ?

Husband : Nahin

Wife : Kyon ?

Husband : Main Hanuman Chalisa padh kar sota hoon

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What would happen If Mahabharata would happen in this era:

1. Kauravas would have starved to death with only 9 subsidized LPG cylinders for 102 of them.

2. Duryodhana would claim he did Draupadi's Vastraharan because she didn't call him, "Bhaiya".

3. Media would target Shree Krishna as Dwarka was in Gujarat.

4. Duryodhan would get Draupadi arrested u/s 66A of IT Act for updating her FB status; "Andhe ka putra andha hi hoga."

5. Nandan Nilkeni would go mad during AADHAR data collection at the Kaurava household.

6. India TV headlines will be 'Draupadi ki Saaree ka Raaz, Khulega Aaj, Theek Raat 8 baje!’

7. News channels would pay millions for exclusive rights for live telecast of Draupadi's Vastraharan.

8. TV reporters will ask Bheesm Pitaamah on the bed of arrows: "How are you feeling? Kaise lag raha hai?"

9. After 13 years of Vanwaas Pandavas would have turned into Naxals.

10. Abhimanyu would have got the GYAAN that getting out of Chakravyuh was easier than booking a Tatkal ticket on IRCTC."

11. Aishwarya would've replaced by Draupadi in L'Oreal shampoo advt. "5 problems, 1 solution."

12. Sanjay would have minted billions by selling satellite rights for the Kurukshetra war.

13. Barkha's show would be renamed: 'The Yudh Stops Here'; Sagarika's: 'Face the Yudh' and Arnab's: 'The Yudh Hour'

14. Only ND Tiwari will come close to having 100 children.

15. US would be begging India to share the Dron'e technology with them.

16. Lord Krishna will be Political Guru & Shakuni will be Management Guru.

17. There would be a 'Justice for Kauravas' campaign by Civil Society at India Gate against Pandavas for massacring the whole family. Kejriwal will sit on Dharna at Jantar Mantar.

18. Pandavas would have had to shift frequently because DLF and Jaypee Group would frequently take over jungles for housing projects!!!

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Alia bhatt writing medical entrance exam, gives definitions as follows :

*Antibody : Against everybody.

*Artery : Study of fine paintings.

*Genes : Blue denims.

*Labour pain : Hurt at work.

*Liposuction : French kiss.

*Microbes : Small dressing gowns.

*Cardiology : Advanced study of playing cards.

*Cat scan : Searching lost cat.

*Coma : Punctuation mark.

*Bacteria : Back door to cafeteria.