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Mods, please feel free to remove any pic if found breaching the rules of this thread.

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A man went to the marriage hall to reserve wedding date. Office was closed and he read the following notice outside the office "Office closed between 1pm and 3pm, you may use this time to think again"

Selfie lovers, time for you to memorize one more formula

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In ancient Greece, throwing an apple at a woman was considered a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL.

This tradition still continues - throw an apple (iPhone6) and she will say YES!

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LOL......... Ha ha

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"


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Alligator Shoes

A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting "I don't give two hoots for your shoes man, I'll go and kill my own "croc!," to which the shopkeeper replied, "by all means, just watch out for those two "ole boys" who are doing the same!". So the man went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. 'They must be the 'ole boys' he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The guy stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer. Just as the beast was about to swallow the him, he struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already laying Together the two guys threw the gator onto its back, where-upon one exclaimed "Darn! This one doesn't have any shoes either!".

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Coutesy: Forwards from friends

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Few more,



Another one,

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So many times i have wished i had something like this on my bike, for those idiots who come with high beam even inside the city.

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^^^ I am imagining it on a bike

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Hell yeah !!!

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A blonde in a speeding car was stopped by a police patrol car.
The police officer, a blonde as well, came to the driver's side, tapped on the window and said -"can I see your Liscence please"
Blonde driver - "What's that?"
Blonde officer - "Its a little card with your photo on it."
Blonde Driver searches through her hand bag, finds a small makeup mirror, looks into it and says "Duh, here it is", and hands it to the officer.
Blonde officer looks into the mirror for a moment and says -"Why didn't you tell me that you too were a police officer".

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Santa was recruited by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber shaved off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Santa a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth out.
On the third day, the Army issued him underwear.
The Army still hasn’t found Santa after all these years.

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A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.
She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!”
The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?”
“Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get out.”

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A very old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a sample tomorrow.”
The next day the man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, “Well, doc, it’s like this: first I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.”
The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?”
The old man replied, “Yep,but none of us could get the jar open.”

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I didnt get this! Why!

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She's rich now and she just dumped her husband. He's not needed anymore!