Since '02 xBhp is different things to different people. From a close knit national community of
bikers to India's only motorcycling lifestyle magazine and a place to make like-minded biker
friends. Join us
If this is your first visit, be sure to
check out the FAQ by clicking the
link above. You may have to register
before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages,
select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
The girl said, 'NO!'
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
Boy, I'm scared," John said to one of his friends.
"I got a letter from a guy who said he'd break my legs if I didn't stop seeing his wife."
"Well," replied his friend, "I guess you'll have to stop seeing his wife."
"Easy for you to say."
"You like her that much?" the friend asks.
"It's not that," declared John.
.
.
.
.
"He didn't sign his name!
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where St. Peter meets them at the Pearly Gates.
Since they’ve all led exemplary lives, he lets each say any woman’s name and she’ll go back to Earth for six months as that person.
“Sophia Loren,” says the first nun - and poof, she disappears.
“Madonna,” says the second nun, and she disappears, too.
“Sara Piplini,” says the third nun. “Who’s that?” asks St. Peter.
The nun hands him a newspaper clipping.
He reads and says, “I’m sorry, sister, but you’ve got it all wrong. It’s the Sahara Pipeline that was laid by 1,400 men in six months.”
Worried about their less than exciting sex life, a young wife sent her husband to a therapist who wound up treating him with self-hypnosis.
And, to her joy, everything got much better. However, she could not help but notice that each night, early into their lovemaking, the husband would dash out to the bathroom for several minutes.
This tormented her until finally, one night, she followed him.
There, in front of the mirror, she found him applying this therapeutic technique: "She's not my wife... She's not my wife...She's not my wife..."
When Was The Last Time,You Did Something For The First Time.
A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.
His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''
''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.
''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.
''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid.
Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!''
********
LITTLE JOHNNY... KNOW IT ALL
Little Johnny asks his mother her age.
She replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."
Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.
Again his mother replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."
The boy then asks, "Why did Daddy leave you?"
To this, the mother says, "You shouldn't ask that," and sends him to his room.
On the way, Johnny trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out.
Johnny runs back into the room. "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an 'F' in sex!"
Man: Write"Getting older but You are getting better."
Salesman: How do you want me to put it?
Man: Well.. put"You are getting older"at the top and"but You are getting better"at the bottom.
When the cake was unveiled all guests were aghast at the msg.
It read:"You are getting older at the top, but you are getting better at the bottom!"
Moral:- Don't order cakes over phone......
A man & a woman who never met before, find themselves on upper & lower berth of a long distance train.
At 2 am, Man leans over saying,"Ma'm, sorry to bother you, Would you be kind enough to give me a 2nd blanket
from the side table. Its awfully cold.
"I have a better idea",she replied,"Just for tonight, why don't we pretend that we are married !!
"Great idea Madam.". He replied in excitement.
She says,"Well then Get up & take it yourself."
Being Married Is Like Having 64 GB iPod With Only One Song
I phoned my wife today and said,"Pack a bag dear, I've booked us into a hotel for a few nights."
"Ooh, why's that?"she asked.
I said,"Well I've been playing poker all day, havent I!"
"Really?"she asked again in excitement,"How much have you won?"
"Nothing,"I replied."I've lost the house."
Live life like a pair of walking legs..
The foot forward has no pride and the foot behind has no shame. Bcoz both know their situation will change...!
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said 'nothing'.
The reason I said that instead of saying 'just thinking' is because she would have said 'about what'. At that point I would have to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions.
Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
A few days late, but still chuckles me. (Source - TBHP)
Ishant Sharma trolled after Mohali ODI
Ishant Sharma leaked 30 runs in the 48th over of Australia's 304-run chase with the visitors needing 44 runs. James Faulkner's assault was pivotal as Australia cruised to a win.
1. Ishant Sharma is God’s answer to BCCI’s wrongdoings.
2. Newton’s 3rd law modified: For every N Srinivasan, there is an equal and opposite Ishant Sharma.
3. Dear Dhoni, Ishant Sharma ko OLX pe bech de.
4. Ishant Sharma makes people miss Ashish Nehra.
5. Dhoni would have bowled better than Ishant Sharma. In fact, even Duncan Fletcher would have.Ishant Sharma: Going from bad to worse.
6. It wasn’t Faulkner, it wasn’t Voges. Australia’s match winner tonight was Ishant Sharma.
7. If ever there was an Orange Cap award for bowlers, Ishant Sharma would win it hands down.
8. Ajit Agarkar would be having second thoughts on his retirement after looking at Ishant Sharma bowl.
9. Restaurants to rename ‘unlimited’ offer packages to ‘Ishant Sharma’ packages.
10. Ishant Sharma should be called Lord Ishant Sharma henceforth.
11. Ishant Sharma doesn’t like to cut his hair because he wants to hide his face when bowlers thrash him around the park.
12. BCCI should consider giving Ishant Sharma voluntary retirement.
13. When Ishant Sharma bowls, it’s a working holiday for all fielders. Of course, the spectators are the real fielders.
14. Ishant Sharma doesn’t need a towel to indicate that he’s giving away runs.
15. Colors to give Ishant Sharma a wild card entry to Big Boss season 7.
16. Abey Kuruvilla can bowl better than Ishant Sharma.
17. Dhoni isn’t India’s greatest finisher, Ishant Sharma is.
18. Ishant Sharma has the ability to overshadow Sir Ravindra Jadeja.
19. At this rate, Ishant Sharma would end up with the most number of centuries (with the ball) for India in ODIs.
20. LOL is Ishant Sharma’s middle name.
Got a $5 head? Get a $5 helmet.
Because everyone who passes, isn't a martyr!
Comment