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Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

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  • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    When Was The Last Time,You Did Something For The First Time.

    Comment


    • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

      Overly Cautious Daddy

      No one is more cautious than a first-time parent.
      Similarly, there was man who was very cautious in parenting. After his daughter was big enough to ride on the back of his bicycle, he bought a special carrier with a seat belt and got her a little helmet. The day of the first ride her put her in the seat, double-checked all the equipment, wheeled the bike to the end of the driveway, carefully looked both ways and, swinging his leg up over the crossbar, accidentally kicked her in the chin...

      One Wish
      An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean, “In return for your unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward you with your choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.”

      “Give me infinite wisdom!” declares the dean, without hesitation.
      Done!” says the angel before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.
      All heads now turn to the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. “Well,” says a colleague, “say something brilliant.”

      The dean stands and, with the poise of Socrates, opines, “I should have taken the money.”
      Last edited by petrolhead_chn; 08-17-2013, 12:43 PM.
      My DIY(s) - Sprocket bearing change | Paint job | Custom speedo dial

      Getting angry at somebody is the same as getting angry with a bike that just won't go. You should stop and start thinking.
      A good mechanic will let you watch even without charging you for it. | Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees youll ride alone.

      It is funny to know that we've been imitated and copied so well
      and surprising when we notice our mistakes are copied as well.

      Comment


      • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

        Sorry for continuing this but wanted to reply to you and biker4life.

        I am hardly the calm sorts but then i think of how i used to be when i was 9 posts old and maybe this makes me not go ballistic. Secondly, the best thing about the interwebs is that you can get away from it, come back with a cool head and then reply.

        And of course you can have fancy for bullets. I might mock you but that is till the time we are just on this forum, on the road if i see you all packed up and going thumping along i will do a thumbs up.

        Like satyen said somewhere in this post, it is the fanboys that get you, not the bikes. Every time you say something about a bullet it becomes a free for all. For all who have a bullet that is. Which is rather strange.

        Anywho, thanks for writing in and making my mail notification go into overdrive. Lastly, how can you be pissed of at people who don't know how to scroll. Because just after the moderator approved this post is another one which i have pasted below. Rather surprisingly it is by me.

        Also biker4life: It was not a review per se but a personal experience. Also if you treat it as a review i am more form topgear school of thought than autocar.

        "I know i have derided Bullet for being agricultural, old and to some extent snooty. And like a petrol pump attendant, i stand by all that.

        But that is like judging a Ferrari just by its looks or just by its engine. A Ferrari brings occasion to every sense and sometimes sense to occasions. Now, Bullet can give you Parkinsons due to its shaky ride, and maybe, Syphilis too, but more importantly like Ferrari it can also give sense to some occasions.

        Occasions like good weather.

        You have to be on a Bullet to enjoy good weather and feel smug about it. In the same way you have to be in an old house with 15 foot high ceiling, old creaky ceiling fans, a bright summer day with light filtering through the drapes, lemonade on call and an old transistor to really enjoy Rafi or Kishore songs.

        You do need a Bullet to enjoy good weather.

        And that's because Bullet's are not supposed to go fast. At 70 you're at the Bike's limit and at 80 you are at yours. So you tend to drive at a middle-ground 60. Perfect speed for the breeze to gently brush past by, rather than the full-on rugby assault it is at 110 on my Pulsar.


        Riding into the sunset is old-school. So is smiling at fellow motorist. So is eating bugs; because you are wearing a half-face helmet. And so is riding a slow and crude bullet. It is the perfect tool to bring some old-school joy to good old-school things, like good old good weather.

        After all occasions are old-school too."


        Originally posted by petrolhead_chn View Post
        @forty6 - Your review is excellent. Good review on the Bullet. Had I been in your situation, I could have lost my cool. Great man!. I have my fancies for Bullets though

        @xpranav - I am amazed by the support you extended to a fellow member. I can see you trying to keep things clear and facilitate settling down - Social responsibility. Alas! You can wake up somebody who is really asleep but not the ones who pretend to be asleep. Hope you get it mate???

        @Sherwin - FYI! You quoted @forty6 which itself is OT. Do you realize that? You must accept the fact that the post by forty6 on Bullets were sincere with some playing around words for some humor. Everybody have their own opinions and they can post it out here. It doesn't make sense to post another member's post and comment so rudely. That was not even hilarious or professional. You put him down with those last few lines. If you want to comment please post on that relevant thread and concerned member would explain. I guess you lack sense of humor and do not understand other's communication. Request you to please stay away from this thread until you know what this thread is all about. You've made this thread a lot serious in your last few interactions.

        It clearly shows that you are trying to be dominant or something in a short span. Else why such drama Sherwin? Remember that there are always members here who can use stronger words than you and comment harder than you. It is all about vocabulary, comprehension and an important question - "Is it worth responding to this fella?". If all of them start responding, it would not be good for everybody and trust me you would give up signing in to xbhp.

        Please do not get my response the other way. I am not trying to put you down, but simply requesting you to encourage fellow members and be a part of the community. Share your biking knowledge and use your vocabulary for a good beneficial posts. Still if you want to be defensive and continue with the hungama you are in for lot of surprises, of course in a professional and ethical manner unlike what you have exhibited here. Thank you for reading and hope this ends here.


        @All; Maybe I responded a little late to this. I am still wondering as to how many such mushrooms are going to crop up. I guess this is a usual ritual religiously performed by some attention-seeking fellas. I guess Sherwin is already on his way to clean up the errors and rejoin the group afresh and be a fellow BHPian. If this does not happen it is best to just ignore and continue with our hilarious posts .

        Comment


        • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

          Kindly be advised, this post is only meant to clear some air and is not-at-all a personal attack to anyone. I would also like to ask our honorable moderator [MENTION=38603]The Monk[/MENTION] about this post ( http://www.xbhp.com/talkies/coffee-l...tml#post979805 ) if it is a personal attack or an attack on the forum,specially the "PS" part.

          Originally posted by petrolhead_chn View Post
          @xpranav - I am amazed by the support you extended to a fellow member. I can see you trying to keep things clear and facilitate settling down - Social responsibility. Alas! You can wake up somebody who is really asleep but not the ones who pretend to be asleep. Hope you get it mate???
          , actually I am still served with furious PM(s) from "the person".

          Originally posted by biker4life View Post
          @xpranav Though You tried to bring this crap to an end but You could have done something like what petrolhead did in a mature and unbiased way. That's what even mods do. I understand that one can not expect everyone to behave in a mature manner.
          Thank you for the humble suggestion but please take a look at the page no. 247 where I had by myself removed my post which was humbly asking "the person" to end all this and with his approval of cleaning up all I did delete my post. But later on the replies from "the person" made me go little harder , after all it was unnecessarily dragging a judgement on the name of our transparent Forum.

          Originally posted by forty6 View Post
          But that is like judging a Ferrari just by its looks or just by its engine. A Ferrari brings occasion to every sense and sometimes sense to occasions.
          Is that an Indian version of Jeremy Clarkson

          Warm Regards,
          Pranav


          Use riding gears because Safety doesn't happen by Accident

          Spot me covered in:
          Vega Shadow - SPG Icarus - SPG Ares - SPG Perseus

          Honda CBF Stunner - Oct'11 to till date | Barky's Baby: Honda CBF 125 Modification

          Comment


          • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

            Originally posted by xpranav View Post
            specially the "PS" part.
            A personal attack on a member will be deleted, irrespective of the attacker or the attackee! Especially with unparliamentary (considering the way our parliament functions, I shouldn't bother using this word!) language. On the other hand, b****in about the forum, in the guise of 'constructive' criticism is old hat. A lot of johnny walkers have come and gone who have indulged in this. Can't get rankled about that anymore

            A small PS from me

            Any more reference to THAT on THIS thread will be deleted blindly, irrespective of good, bad or ugly. So kindly continue with the hilarious and laughter challenge PSR sir please lead the way
            Last edited by The Monk; 08-17-2013, 05:39 PM.
            Biking is not about what you have between your legs, its all about how well you use it!!!!!!!

            Give your details here if you want to help your fellow xBhpian stranded in your city

            Touring Blog: Cycling in Mongolia!

            Comment


            • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

              Originally posted by The Monk View Post
              A personal attack on a member will be deleted, irrespective of the attacker or the attackee! Especially with unparliamentary (considering the way our parliament functions, I shouldn't bother using this word!) language. On the other hand, b****in about the forum, in the guise of 'constructive' criticism is old hat. A lot of johnny walkers have come and gone who have indulged in this. Can't get rankled about that anymore

              A small PS from me
              Thank you Monk for the intervention....I feel the posts that do not contribute to the essence of the thread may be deleted....I find every week new members viewing this thread and liking the content, for whom these OTs will be an eye sore...
              Let me start again with an appropriate post...





              Last edited by psr; 08-17-2013, 09:22 PM.
              When Was The Last Time,You Did Something For The First Time.

              Comment


              • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                True story.

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                Cheers!
                VJ
                Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
                The girl said, 'NO!'


                And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


                THE END

                Comment


                • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                  since drunk is the topic.. One more fact

                  Ride safe and have fun.
                  Regards
                  Nadeem

                  Comment


                  • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                    gal: hiii....
                    boy: hii...

                    gal: free hai...
                    boy: ha ha..bol na...

                    gal: Lootera...???
                    boy: ha ha le le yaar....

                    gal: kamine, i was talking about the movie...

                    Comment


                    • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                      ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
                      Telesales agent getting the customer's credit card info:

                      Agent: Can I have your expiration date, sir?
                      Customer: My what?!!
                      ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
                      Agent verifying info from the customer:

                      Agent: Is that a P for Ping-Pong?
                      Customer: No, it's B.
                      Agent: Oh, B, like Bing-Bong...
                      ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
                      Customer trying to return a defective product:

                      Customer: I need to return this defective sauna belt that you delivered yesterday.
                      Agent: For that concern, you can call our customer service at www. saunabelt . com
                      Customer: Call where??!!
                      ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------
                      Agent wrapping up the sale:

                      Agent: Our INSTALLATORS will contact you within the next 24 hours to verify your installation schedules...
                      Customer: Uhm.... say what, now. Who's gonna call me?
                      Agent: The INSTALLATORS, sir.
                      ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
                      Agent trying to create urgency over the available promotion:

                      Agent: Are you sure you don't want to take advantage of me?
                      Customer: Say, what?
                      ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
                      Agent asking the customer to be put on hold:

                      Tech Agent: Sir, Can I hold you for just a minute?
                      Customer: Sure, baby, go ahead!
                      ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
                      Tech Support: Okay, Bob, just type P on your keyboard?
                      Customer: What? Could you repeat that?
                      Tech Support: 'P' on your keyboard, Bob.
                      Customer: No way. I'm not going to do that.
                      ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
                      Irate Customer: F***k you!
                      Tech Support: Sir, we're not allowed to say "F***k you!" here...
                      ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
                      Agent: It's C as in CAT.
                      Customer: what?
                      Agent: C as in CAT. C-A-T as in meow meow...
                      ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
                      Agent: Alright, let me verify that... Was that a "G" as in golf?
                      Customer (with a different accent): NO! That was a "G" as! in GEBRA! (z as in zebra)
                      Agent: Oh, Gebra! like the one in the Goo?!
                      ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
                      Tech support: We're going to perform a check disk to see if your hard drive has errors in it. Please type in C-H-K-D-S-K.
                      Customer: What is that again?
                      Tech Support: C-H-K-D-S-K. .. that is... C as in Charlie... H as in Harley... K as in Karly.. D as in Darley... S as in Sarley... and K as in Karly... got it?
                      My DIY(s) - Sprocket bearing change | Paint job | Custom speedo dial

                      Getting angry at somebody is the same as getting angry with a bike that just won't go. You should stop and start thinking.
                      A good mechanic will let you watch even without charging you for it. | Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees youll ride alone.

                      It is funny to know that we've been imitated and copied so well
                      and surprising when we notice our mistakes are copied as well.

                      Comment


                      • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...






                        Last edited by psr; 08-18-2013, 10:42 AM.
                        When Was The Last Time,You Did Something For The First Time.

                        Comment


                        • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                          A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.

                          She comes up to the guy and she says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

                          "Ten years!" he says.

                          She reaches over, unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.

                          He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"

                          Then she asks, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"

                          He replies, "Ten years!"

                          She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.

                          He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"

                          Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?"

                          And the man replies, "My God! Don't tell me you've got a motorcycle in there!"




                          Originally posted by psr View Post



                          Well, kids in the back seat causes accidents, accident in the back seat causes kids
                          Please don't drink and park, accidents causes kids.

                          About being the weird one among friends, I'm that weird guy, it's very true in case of me, some childhood problems made me very unstable, now no matter what I do, I can't become normal. Trust me, I have tried many times.
                          I am back!

                          Comment


                          • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                            Guess why the boys became sad


                            Ride safe and have fun.
                            Regards
                            Nadeem

                            Comment


                            • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                              A Doctor wishes we had more diseases
                              A Lawyer wishes we had more problems
                              A Mechanic wishes we had more problems with our vehicle
                              But, only a burglar wishes we live with more money

                              Please help understand my dilemma, who is good?
                              Skill is what keeps you on a Motorcycle
                              Awareness + Skill is what keeps you out of harm's way
                              ATGATT + Awareness + Skill means you might Live To Ride another day

                              Comment


                              • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                                Poor Loki.

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                                Sent from my GT-N7100 using xBhp Connect mobile app
                                -Valkyrie

                                Help and get helped! Enrol for the All India Emergency Rescue System (AIERS), powered by the members of xBhp.

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