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Grammar matters



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Seriously,




Cheers!!!

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Smoking

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Cheers!
VJ

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Q: Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?


A: He was looking for loopholes!



****************

Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding. In Heaven, they ask St. Peter if they can still be married.

"Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay here and I will be right back."

Six months pass and Peter returns. "Yes, we can do this for you."

The couple asks, "Well, as we have spent so much time together waiting for your answer, we need to know that if things don't work out, is there a possibility that we can be divorced?"

To which St. Peter answers, "It took me six months to find a priest up here -- how long do you think it will take me to find a lawyer?"

**************

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Sambha: Sardar, Is Thakur Ka Kya Karna Hai
Gabbar: Is Saale Ke Dono Haath Kaat Do
Aur Isko Din Mein 03 Baar Blu Film Dikhao
Apne Aap Tarap Tarap Kar Mar Jaayega

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A young woman who was several months pregnant was sitting in a bus.
When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition.
She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.
She moved again and then on seeing him laughing more. She filed a court case on him.

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Bbm in android and iPhone is free...bt is chargeable to blackberry phone users ....it's like wife charging husband for sex..n giving free sex to the city... 

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Just for you.....



Cheers!
VJ

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Mike was beat the shit out of him at a pharmacy store to have done exactly what he had been told; he's still wondering, "What the hell went wrong?"


Mike was 16 or so, he went in to buy a packet of condoms at Walgreen's pharmacy

There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that he was new at it. She handed him the package and asked if he knew how to wear one. Mike answered honestly, "No, this is my first time"

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned to make sure it was on tight and secure.

Mike apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it were empty. It was indeed empty. "Just a minute," she said, and walked to the door, and locked it...

Taking Mike's hand, she led him into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside & asked, "Do these excite you?"

Mike was so dumb-struck that all he could do was nod his head

She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As he was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk & said, "Well, come on, we don't have much time..."

So he climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, he could no longer hold back and KAPOW, he was done within a few moments.

She looked at Mike with a bit of a frown. "Did you put that condom on?' she asked.

He said, "I sure did" and held up his thumb to show her!!!

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Three friends had a good friend named Jack and he was an eternal optimist. For every bad situation he would always say ''Gee, it could have been worse.''

His friends hated that quality about him, so they cooked up a story one day so horrible that he couldn't come up with a bright side.

So the next day, only two of his friends showed up at Golf course.

Jack asked, ''Where's Harry?''

And one of his friends said, ''Didn't you hear? Yesterday, Harry found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both, and then turned the gun on himself.''

So naturally, our man Jack says,''Gee, it could have been worse.''

Both his friends, waiting for this exclaimed, ''How the hell could it be worse dude? Your friend just killed himself!''

Jack said, ''If it had happened two days ago, I'd be dead now!''

And folks in the neigborhood say that Jack was never heard or seen again