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A husband gets love bite on neck from his secretary. He goes home worried, allows his pet dog to jump on him and shouts, "He bit my neck".

The wife removes bra and says, "See what he did to me!"

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Too many launches !! so much confusion !!

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Trolled ,


Forever Alone, (little edited )






IF YOU DONT HAVE A VALENTINE ON VALENTINES-DAY DONT BE SAD
BECAUSE ! MOST OF THEM DONT HAVE AIDS ON WORLD AIDS DAY, so cheer up and be happy . . .

Cheers!!!

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Read it on some forum

"There is also a Electric Superbike of 1000cc to be launched" .. LOL ....

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You missed the joke.

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Dude, the joke was electric and displacement in a single sentence.

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Apologies . I did indeed

------------------------

The Minister's Widow

There was a nice lady, a minister's widow, who was a little old fashioned. She was planning a week's vacation in California at Skylake Yosemite campground (Bass Lake, to the uninitiated), but she wanted to make sure of the accommodations first. Uppermost in her mind were bathroom facilities, but she couldn't bring herself to write "toilet" in a letter. After considerable deliberation, she settled on "bathroom commode," but when she wrote that down, it still sounded too forward, so, after the first page of her letter, she referred to the bathroom commode as "BC." "Does the cabin where I will be staying have its own 'BC'? If not, where is the 'BC' located?" is what she actually wrote.

The campground owner took the first page of the letter and the lady's check and gave it to his secretary. He put the remainder of the letter on the desk of the senior member of his staff without noticing that the staffer would have no way of knowing what "BC" meant. Then the owner went off to town to run some errands.

The staff member came in after lunch, found the letter, and was baffled by the euphemism, so he showed the letter around to several counselors, but they couldn't decipher it either. The staff member's wife, who knew that the lady was the widow of a famous Baptist preacher, was sure that it must be a question about the local Baptist Church. "Of course," the first staffer exclaimed, "'BC' stands for 'Baptist Church.' " And he sat down and wrote:

Dear Madam,

I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure in informing you that the BC is located nine miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late.

The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now there is a supper planned to raise money to buy more seats. They are going to hold it in the basement of the 'BC.'

I would like to say that it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely no lack of desire on my part. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather. If you decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time, sit with you, and introduce you to all the folks. Remember, this is a friendly community."

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Valentines day..



Smart Question-







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The Biggest Lie Ever Told..

When preparing for 10th board exams, mom said bs ye mushkil hai, iske baad aish..
Then came 12th board exams, mom again said bs ye nikal le, iske baad aish hai..
Then entrance exams, mom again said bs ye nikal le, college milte hi aish hai..
Then came engineering college, mom again said, degree le le, phir to aish hai..

Saala sab kr liya, ab bi ganta milta hai mehnat krke. Bike chalane ke liye bi lakh bari sochna padta hai or bank balance ke naam pe hai 'babaji ka thullu'

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Notice on a TEMPLE wall:

Do not leave your wife alone in crowded areas.

If she gets lost, you may mistakenly think that your prayers have been answered.

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Very Interesting facts..................Might be an old one but still very good analysis.

TO KILL A " LION" COMPANIES FOLLOWS METHOD




Satyam Method:

Hire a lion....

Place him in "QRU"(Bench) for 1 year
Tell him to change his technology from ASP.NET to JAVA or Powerbuilder

Lion dies in confusion he is Cat or lion......



Cognizant Method:
hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more ........

TCS method:

hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration


IBM's method:

hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ....
he dies of unemployment...

Syntel Method:-

Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....

TechMahindra method:

hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain

i-Flex method:

hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari
for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes
alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion

HCL Method:

hire a lion .
tell him to merge with Goats (Polaris) and reduce his allowance...
lion dies from fear that tomorrow he might become a goat....

Polaris Method :

hire ..sorry....purchase a lion( HCL ) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ....change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....


Patni method:

hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....


Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die receiving stupid mails all day........!!!!

Accenture Method:

Hire a lion....
Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat idly,Dosa and Vada
No hindi, kanaka or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...
No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls
And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......

HUAWEI Method:

Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die

THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST


INFOSYS METHOD:
HIRE A LION �..
SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE
.................................................. .KING OF THE JUNGLE! J
MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM
............... LION TURNS INTO CAT
MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM
� ...........................................� .CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE
SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG
................................. MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!
SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS
................................................MO USE COMMITS SUICIDE

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If a tiger attacks your mother-in-law and your wife at the same time, whom would u save?

Santa : Ofcourse the Tiger, very few are left..!!!!

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Why newton was shocked when he saw women for the 1st time without clothes..?
.
.
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Bcoz
.
.
.

He realized dat one of the part of his own body was going against his own law of Gravity.