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Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...
Two blondes approach the perfume counter. They pick up a sample bottle. Nancy sprays it on her wrist and sniffs it.
"That's quite nice," she says. "Don't you think so, Anna?"
Anna takes a whiff, "That is nice," she says. "What's it called?"
"Viens a moi," replies Nancy.
"Viens a moi? What the heck does that mean?"
"Viens a moi, ladies," the clerk intervenes helpfully, "is 'come to me' in French."
Nancy takes another sniff, then offers her arm to Anna again.
"That doesn't smell like cum to me," she opines. "Does that smell like cum to you?"
=====
A salesman was traveling through the country side, flogging insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. "Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again. I guarantee it."
The farmer was dubious. "Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my cornfield absolutely without clothes, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you come morning, I'll buy a whole case from you and get everyone in the county to buy a case we will make you rich.
The salesman was delighted. They went to the field and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a stake. Back to the house went the farmer.
The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the cornfield. Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck!
Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him.
The farmer was perplexed. "Son," he said, "Now, you don't have a bite on you but you look like hell! What the hell happened?"
The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked, "Doesn't that calf have a mother?"
=====
During work, Raman and Narayan were chatting:
Raman: Narain, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
Narayan: oh!
Raman: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night Courses you would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
Raman: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.
The next day, once again:
Raman: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, Narayan got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy?
Raman: No
Narayan: He's the guy who's screwing your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this.
==
A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his
mother asks if he had done his chores.
"Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any
breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little ticked off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and
kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes
to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry
cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have milk in my
cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken,
so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you
don't get any bacon, for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so,
for a week you aren't getting an y milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the pussycat as
he's walking into the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and
says:
"Are you going to tell him, or should I?"
Two blondes approach the perfume counter. They pick up a sample bottle. Nancy sprays it on her wrist and sniffs it.
"That's quite nice," she says. "Don't you think so, Anna?"
Anna takes a whiff, "That is nice," she says. "What's it called?"
"Viens a moi," replies Nancy.
"Viens a moi? What the heck does that mean?"
"Viens a moi, ladies," the clerk intervenes helpfully, "is 'come to me' in French."
Nancy takes another sniff, then offers her arm to Anna again.
"That doesn't smell like cum to me," she opines. "Does that smell like cum to you?"
=====
A salesman was traveling through the country side, flogging insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. "Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again. I guarantee it."
The farmer was dubious. "Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out in my cornfield absolutely without clothes, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you come morning, I'll buy a whole case from you and get everyone in the county to buy a case we will make you rich.
The salesman was delighted. They went to the field and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to a stake. Back to the house went the farmer.
The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the cornfield. Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck!
Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him.
The farmer was perplexed. "Son," he said, "Now, you don't have a bite on you but you look like hell! What the hell happened?"
The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked, "Doesn't that calf have a mother?"
=====
During work, Raman and Narayan were chatting:
Raman: Narain, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
Narayan: oh!
Raman: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night Courses you would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
Raman: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.
The next day, once again:
Raman: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?
Narayan: No
Raman: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, Narayan got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy?
Raman: No
Narayan: He's the guy who's screwing your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this.
==
A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his
mother asks if he had done his chores.
"Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any
breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little ticked off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and
kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes
to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry
cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have milk in my
cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken,
so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you
don't get any bacon, for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so,
for a week you aren't getting an y milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the pussycat as
he's walking into the kitchen.
The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and
says:
"Are you going to tell him, or should I?"
, I am serious guys, let me try this some day.....
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