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[MENTION=39214]B7ACKTHORN[/MENTION].. Was the applause for me? If so, thanks for that bro

Pappu in fire brigade:

Lady called: "Mere ghar mein aag lagi hai"

Pappu: "pani dalo pani"

Lady: "Pani dala hai per aag phir bhi nahin bhuji"

Pappu: "Phir hum akar kya krenge, hum bhito pani hi dalte hein"

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Every middle-aged man

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@ Devil's Friend.....You are getting closer to the truth in life.........
@B7ACKTHORN.... You are also getting to be very realistic ....

Thanks for making me happy with your posts...keep it up.

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[MENTION=32286]psr[/MENTION]... Sir, always a pleasure to put a smile on everybody's face

Cheerz!!

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What most of our politicians do..$h!t through their mouth..

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Haha.. How many times have you heard this
'Ab mummy ko kya bataye hum, unki future bahu ko to banana hi nai aata

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There's a big difference between men and women when they say :

" I finished an entire box of tissues watching that film last night "

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nothing funny but FYI

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How does a women looks after wearing seat belt.
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Farming Skills:

A Kiwi man in New Zealand buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.


After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help..


The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.


The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant..


The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.


The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.


So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.


Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again.


He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure,
Brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted..


Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round..


Try again, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods.
He spends all day having sex with the sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.


The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window.


He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.


No, she says, they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is beeping the horn.

====

A young man moved out from home and into a new apartment, all of his own, he went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.


While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him, as they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.


The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.


After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, let’s go to my apartment....I hear somebody coming.


He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now without any clothes at all, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?' Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears.'


Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'my ears?!?!?'' Look at these assets. They are a full 38 inches and 100% natural. I work out every day and my buns are firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?'


Clearing his throat, he stammered... 'Outside, when you said you heard someone coming...That was me.'

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Girls be like..

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I dun wana liv on dis plant nemur

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...............

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it sure is fast