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HOW TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT CITIES OF
INDIA :

Scenario 1 : Two guys are fighting & a
third guy comes along, sees them and
walks on..
That's MUMBAI..

Scenario 2 : Two guys are fighting & a
third guy comes along and tries to make
peace.. The first two get together and
beat him up..
That's DELHI.

Scenario 3 : Two guys fighting and third
guy comes from a nearby house and says
"don't fight in front of my place, go
somewhere else."
That's BANGALORE..

Scenario 4 : Two guys fighting third guy
comes along with a carton of beer.. All sit
together drink beer and abuse each other
and go home as friends..
You are definitely in GOA...

Scenario 5 : Two guys are fighting. Both of
them take time out & call their friends on
their mobiles.. Now 50 guys are fighting..
You are in PUNJAB.

Scenario 6 : Two guys fighting. Third guy
comes and shoots both of them..
You are in BIHAR..

Scenario 7: Two guys are fighting. A crowd
gathers to watch.. A guy comes along and
quietly opens a tea stall there
That's KERALA.

Last Scenario: two guys fighting and a
third guy comes...after a little discussion
they become friends and drinks few pegs
of whiskey together and then beats a
stranger on the road...That's Assam

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Inzuma Quotes:

I wanted a bike, not something to scare my kids with...

If i remove the screws that mount the headlights... i'm scared its gonna start floating around my garage.

Hey... Park your Inzuma and let your headlights go ahead... seems like its caught on to something... lets follow and see if we can track a hunt down.

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Nothing funny about this post. just found it in OLX

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Making a Point!

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

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Sometimes things look so romantic in hindi like:
Main kho gaya hun tere pyar mein, ab tum b kho jao..


Now try in english:
I am lost in ur love, now u get lost...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Legal Voting age for Boys: 18 years
Legal Marrying age for Boys : 21 years...
What does this mean?
.
You need more experience to Handle a girl than a country.!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height of Lazyness :-
Dad :- why didn't you go to the exam ?
Pappu :- Paper was tough ..
Dad :- Without going how do you know ?
.
Pappu :- paper leaked 2 days ago

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I got an email today "bored housewife in ur city looking for some hot action!"

So I sent her my clothes that needed to be ironed.......


Marriage is just a game, and the name of the game is Mortal Kombat.....


Santa: My wife died yesterday..I m trying to cry but tears are not coming , what to do?

Banta: Imagine she is Back...

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I would love to have such a meeting before getting engaged.. wish my parents allow

Sent from my Spice Mi-530 using Tapatalk 4

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gf: "Teri ZIP khul nahi rahi yaar"

bf: "Thoda aur try kar"

gf: "Kar to rahi hoon. Nahi khul rahi"










bf: "Accha ruk. PDF bhejta hoon"

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That's exactly what the doctors told me and yes, I do have a limp.

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Papa's BMW!!!

A Boyfriend sends a message to his girlfriend on WhatsApp...

Boyfriend - Hi.
Girlfriend - Hello.

Boyfriend - Kahan par ho?

Girlfriend: Main apne papa ki BMW mein club ja rahi hun, abhi driver mujhe club chor dega, uske baad mall mein shopping ke liye jaungi, tab tumhe call karti hun, tum kahan par ho?

Boyfriend: 401 no ki bus mein, TUMHARI SEAT SE 2 SEATS PEECHE, TUM TICKET MAT LENA.. Maine Le Li hai...!!!
----------------------------------------------

Aam Admi's Aam Underwear!

Latest News: Arvind Kejriwal has stopped wearing his underwears bcoz...

He can't wear VIP underwears as they have VIP written on them.

He can't wear Rupa since people would say he always keeps Rupa around his private parts, and in Delhi that's a dangerous thing to do.

Or Jockey as horse riding is a rich man's pastime.

He can't wear Macroman since he is a common man.

He can't wear Dixcy since he does not want people to see his d***.

And he can't go Commando since he has refused security.

So now all he needs is cover his private parts with mango leaves to prove that he is a "aam" admi and his protection depicts the same.

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Women will be women



Accidents..





Sent from my Spice Mi-530 using Tapatalk 4

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If Saturday And Sunday Don't Excite You, then change your Friends.

If Monday doesn't Motivate you, then change your profession.

If Monday is too exciting, and you are dying to get to work, then you should probably change your spouse!!!

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Haha.. That was a twist

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Co-pilot was welcoming the passengers on the plane shortly after take off.

"Thank you for flying with us this morning. The weather is....."

When suddenly he starts screaming while he is still on the loud speakers.

"Oh my God! OMG!!! OMG!!! This is going to hurt....Its burning"

A ghostly silence reigned, he gets back on the microphone talking to the passengers.

"I sincerely apologise for the incident but the air hostess just dropped a very hot cup of coffee on my leg... you should see my pants from the front"

A passenger replies, "Why don't you come here and see our PANTS FROM BEHIND!"

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devils friend, excellente.

I think this guy deserves a round of applause




Cheers!
VJ