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i was in full gears and this guy... no words....

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Haha India buddy..
He had Goat God for his protection..

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To his doctor, seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars. The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy.


"When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and stick it completely up your butt. Then remove it, rewrap it, and place it back with all the others, in such a fashion as you can`t tell which one it is. The aversion is obvious, you won`t dare smoke any of them, not knowing which is the treated cigar."


"Thanks doc, I`ll try it." And he did. But three weeks later he came back and saw the doctor again.


"What? My recommendation didn`t work? It was supposed to be effective even in the most addictive of cases, such as yours is!" answered the doctor.


"Well, it kind of worked, doc. At least I was able to transfer my addiction," replied the patient.


"What is that supposed to mean?" demanded the doctor.


"Well, I don`t smoke cigars anymore, but now I can`t go to sleep at night unless I have a cigar shoved up my butt."

=======

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads:


Dear Wife (that's what he called her),
I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel
with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary.


When he arrived at the hotel there was a letter waiting for him
as follows:


Dear Husband (that's what she called him),


I too am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Hilton Hotel
with my handsome and virile 18 year old boy toy.....
You being stupid accountant, will therefore, appreciate that.....


18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18.

====

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Some funnies that I love. Hope you enjoy them as I did.

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High carb diet

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Didn't really get the time to check if this has been shared in the past

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Goat god... hahahahaha..

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Bar Girl Dancing, Public Claping .
She Removes Her Top, More Claps..
..
Removes Her Skirt, Louder Claps ..
& P@nty, Total Silence????.
.
.
.
Moral : You Cant Clap With 1Hand.

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A bus full of housewives going on a picnic fell into a river, all aboard died.

Each husband cried for a week, one husband continued for more than two weeks.

When asked, he replied miserably "My wife missed the bus"

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Following are the comments I read from quora which had discussion going on about Rahul Gandhi (RAGa) interview with Arnab Goswami

Sonia: How was the interview beta?
Raga: Mom, I prepared for history exam and arnab took math's

Rahul Gandhi’s interview reminded me of the Azharuddin days.
Commentator: How is the pitch? Azhar: The boys played well

Arnab: What came first? The chicken or the egg??
RaGa: We want to empower the chicken and give RTI to the egg.

If RaGa becomes PM, the red beacon that he'll get for his vehicle will be called LOL batti

Rahul talked of empowering people a 100 times in 10 minutes. And he has not been able to empower his PM in 10 years!

Rahul Gandhi just told Arnab Goswami that the questions are out of syllabus.

You know how in exams we know very little and try to fit it in every answer? That's what Rahul is trying to do in every question!

The fundamental issue at hand is by the time Rahul understands the question Arnab is on 3th question

Rahul Gandhi has now said 'empowering women' more number of times than total women population of the country.

This is like watching 2 different shows. Arnab's questions and Rahul's answers.

Arnab: "Would you have a debate with Modi?"
Rahul: "Look we need an alternative. Tap global energy. Empower women!!!"

Arnab: What is your name?
Rahul: Empower women.

Just In: Arnab Goswami booked for raping Rahul Gandhi under section 377

If Stupidity was measured in bricks, Rahul Gandhi would be the great wall of China.

Every time Congress try to dig a grave for Narendra Modi, Rahul Gandhi jumps into it.

and the best....

If you missed, Rahul Gandhi interview will be repeated on Pogo Channel !!!

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Cheers!!!

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Every single friggin time.



Cheers!
VJ

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And this is the only reason, people dont know me by "face" . hehehehe

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Guys, I just caught my girlfriend sleeping with my best friend, I have photographic evidence. Go see for yourself http://i.imgur.com/i3ZBPwM.jpg

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LOL. Just tell me which one is your girlfriend.