A man posted a personal ad that read, “Wife wanted.”

The next day he received hundreds of letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”



Ever wonder why married men are fatter than single men?

It’s because single men look to see what’s in the refrigerator, then go to bed. Married men see what’s in bed, then go to the refrigerator.


Having been married ten years and still living in an apartment, the wife would often complain about anything, as she was tired of saving every penny to buy a “dream home.”

Trying to comfort her, the husband found a new apartment, within their budget. However, after the first week, she began complaining again. John, she said, I don’t like this place at all. There are no curtains in the bathroom. The neighbors can see me everytime I take a bath.
Don’t worry. replied her husband. If the neighbors do see you, they’ll buy you some curtains.



A man is standing on the side of the basin in the swimming pool and calls “Wow, that’s impossible!” Some minutes later: “Wow, that’s really something!” After the fifth time the guard is approaching him, asking what’s wrong. The man says: “You cannot imagine that! Just yesterday my wife learned how to swim, and today she’s diving for 30 minutes already!”

A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer in charge looked at the photograph she handed him, questioned her, and then asked if she wished to give her husband any message if they found him. “Yes,” she quickly replied. “Tell him…Mother didn’t come after all.”

Two men were talking in a bar:
“How did the argument with your wife end yesterday?”
“Ha, she came crawling to me on her knees!”
“And what did she say?”
“You can’t stay under the table forever, coward…!”


An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.
The farmer simply replied, “They’re all lookin’ to get married, so you came to the right place. Look them over and select the one you want.”
The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the man’s opinion.
“Well” said the man, “She’s just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice, but pigeon-toed.”
The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter. The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.

“Well,” the man replied, “She’s just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell, cross-eyed.”
The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.
The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, “She’s perfect, just perfect! She’s the one I want to marry!” So they were wed right away.
Months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the parents.
“Well,” explained the farmer, “She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell, pregnant when you met her.”


Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. What do you do to control your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet.
Husband: What does that help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush.



Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.” “We’re short-handed, Smith” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.”
“Thanks, boss,” says Smith “I knew I could count on you!”


The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect.
The next day, he brought a small sign that
Read:
“I’m the Boss!”
He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:
” Your wife called, she wants her sign back!”

Need bath?

Need bath? It's not karabath or kesari bath, well...

Dragon Dragon. Dragon "BALL Z"




Cheers!
VJ

Evolution...

My Son asked me what is the difference between import & export; ain't this a classic example?

LOL!



Cheers!
VJ

I'm waiting from last evening for her to finish her job...