Aiyoo Raamaa

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend, however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she decided to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home. The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst... my wife came home with no panties!!". "That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said......"From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you!"

this joke belongs to a class ahead of all !!!!

A 70 year old man and a 65 year old woman got married ..

After marriage, when guests asked what they planned to do later both said they were going on a Honey Moon Trip.
This greatly amused the guests,but went along with it, and wished them well...

After returning from the " Honey Moon " trip the lady's best friend called on her and wanted to chat up girly things..
She asked " How was The Honey Moon ?"
Replied the Old Lady...." Ohh it was great,we had good time to-gether"
Friend ," You mean ..errr..like physical relationship ?"
Old lady, " yes we did "
Friend." Oh my God you mean to say you actually did ?"
Old lady, " Ofcourse we did it Almost Every Night "..
Friend , " That is unbelievable, Tell me how was it possible ?"

Old lady, " Well we did it Sunday Night ALMOST,... Monday night ALMOST, ...Tuesday night ALMOST,... Wednesday day night ALMOST, ....Thursday Night ALMOST........

Rule of Divorce


A man and his wife were getting a divorce in court, but the custody of their children posed a problem

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain their custody

The man also wanted custody of his children

The judge asked for his side of the story too

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from the chair and replied:

"Judge, when I put a dollar into a vending machine, and Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?"

Don't laugh, he won!!!

A MUST READ

This is english......
Worth Reading ..
This is an actual letter taken from the Times of India in response to a `Marriage Proposal' advertisement.

Madam, I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna . I am seeing ur advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily newspaper. So I decide to press myself on u and I am hopping you will make the marriage with me.
I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside Patna . I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in Patna only. I educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School , Bezna Road . I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am playing also hardly. Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good batter also I am fast baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling, all batters are running everywhere why because they are afraiding my balls. My balls are bouncing too much high. That is very danger for them.I am very nice gentleman. I always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy always and gay also. Ladies they are saying I am nice and soft because I giving respect to them. I am always liking if ladies are on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad things. I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because it not good for all the peoples. So I am not doing so. I am keep fitting everyday. Morning I am going to jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can came and see how I pumping the dumb bells in the jim. And now good muscles are come outing everywhere.I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is everyday open for you why because I am nice gentleman, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking my things into my own hands everyday. That is why I want to press myself on you, so that you will come and take my things into your hands
RIP ENG

A man joined a Satanic cult and started praying to the dark one. Lo and behold, Satan actually appeared with a big hammer in his hand and asked him to make 3 wishes."3 wishes? But I wanted 100.""No, you can only have 3.""But I want 100.""Do you want to ask your 3 wishes, or should I leave?"So this guy agrees.His first wish is, "I want you to change this giant hammer into a small wooden stick."And so it happens.His second wish is, "I want you to stick this wooden stick up your ass."No choice left, Satan pushes the stick up his ass with tears flowing down his cheeks. He roars, "Ask your third wish!""I want you to grant me my remaining 97 wishes, else I'm going to convert this stick back into the giant hammer..."Moral of the story: You cannot get anything from the management until you put a hammer up their ass.

Rahul Gandhi to Sonia Gandhi - Why so much fuss mom? Why can’t they make Pope’s son the new Pope?

Epic fail!

SAMUEL L JACKSON Pretty Close I say!



Cheers!
VJ

Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear, if you tell me the name and room number of the patient?" The sweet lady in a weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302"

The operator said, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room"

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news.... Her nurse just told me that Norma is going normal.... Her blood pressure is fine, her blood report just came in and - all is ok, and by the way her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow"

The sweet lady said, "Thank you... That's wonderful..!! I was so worried. God bless you for the good news..!!"

The operator replied, "You're more than welcome... Is Norma your daughter?"

The lady said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302... no one frigging tells me anything"

I need a man, I need a man!Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!

The merits of keeping one's mouth shut.....tightly

Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking to my wife about life... In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying.

... I told her : Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive, I'd much rather die!

My wife got up from the sofa with this real look of admiration towards me....and proceeded to disconnect the TV, the Cable, the Dish, the DVD, the Computer, the Cell Phone, the iPod, and the Xbox, and then went to the bar and threw away all my whisky, rum, gin, vodka & the beer in the fridge...

I ALMOST DIED!!

Morals: 1. Think about what you wish for..!!!! 2. The female brain works on a different wavelength from the male's !!!

Absolutely; here's your support, go through patiently; after understanding this, I always win by flipping out