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Some Memes made by me!

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A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:

Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?

The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant,

In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant,

In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant,

In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant,

In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant,

In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant,

And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant !

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Can't stop laughing at this one though.



Cheers!
VJ

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A "Husband Shopping Centre" was opened where a woman could go to choose from among many men, to be her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place. So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men.


First floor, the door had a sign saying: "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say: "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they go.


Second floor says: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking". "Hmmm", say the girls, "But, I wonder what's further up?".


Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow!" say the women. "Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up!" And so again, they go up.


Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me. But just think!?!?! What must be awaiting us further on!" So up to the fifth floor they go.


The sign on that door said: "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping and have a nice day!!"

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A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon.
He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship". The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat".
The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft".
Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She comes up to the guy and she says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years!" he says.
She reaches over, unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"
Then she asks, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"
He replies, "Ten years!"
She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.
He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"
Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and
she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?"

And the man replies, "My God! Don't tell me you've got a motorcycle in there!"


A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and
walked up to the car.
The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally
said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?"
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small,
rectangular mirror down at the bottom.
She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license"
and handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the
driver and said,
"You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a
police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."

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Teacher : Google is a girl or a boy..?

Student: Google is a Girl...because it won't let you complete
the whole sentence and start guessing, suggesting...and
you ask only one question...
but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds..

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Hindi Names Of Hollywood Movies:

Taken: Le Li.

Taken 2 : Uski bhi Le Li.

The Dark Knight - Sannwla Shoorveer.

The Italian job - Gandhi Parivar.

Wrong turn - Galat mod le liya bey.

Wrong turn 2 - Saala fir se galat mod liya.

Terminator - Bhasmasur.

Welcome to the Jungle - Anil Kapoor Ki Chhaati Me Aap Ka Swagat Hai.

The Mummy returns - Mataji vaapas aa rahi hain.

Inception - Khwab Mein Khwab, Dimaag Ka Dahi Janaab

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Cant stop laughing... already I have heard some people saying duke as modified fz ignorantly

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LOL!





Cheers!
VJ

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Gabbar to sambha: ye le 500 rupye mumbai me 2 din ka khane ka kharcha

Sambha: lekin maine to suna hai mumbai me 2 din ke khane ke liye 24 rupye kafi hai!

Gabbar: Sambha main gabbar hu babbar nahi !

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and God Continued..." There are no woman to bug you, or grab the Remote "..

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This is why we need to think before making a wish...

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

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[MENTION=32286]psr[/MENTION] Sir the list is very long, I would add 1 more

"You are free to roam wherever you want without being radio collared"