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Aishwarya Rai Bachchan has filed copyright case against Pepsi India for using her bedroom lines "Oh Yes Abhi!"

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There were two nuns ....

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM) & the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL)

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM : Have u noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL : It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM : Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL : The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster ......

SM : It's not working.

SL : Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM : So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL : The only logical thing we can do is split. U go that way & I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM : Sister Logical! Thank God u are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL : The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM : Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL : The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM : And?

SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me

SM : Oh, dear! What did u do?

SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL : The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM :Oh, no! What happened then?

SL : Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,
I'll pray for u!......

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Source: Manbat - The Oatmeal

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An older lady visited her daughter and found her naked. She asked her why she is naked and she said it is 'the dress of love' for her husband.. The old lady decided to do same for her husband & wear 'The dress of love'. When the old man came from the farm, he found his wife naked..! He asked her why she is naked & she said she is wearing 'The dress of love..! The husband said to her calmly "Go & iron it first"!!!!

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Amazing puzzle

Priya is 21 years older than her son Raju. In 6 years from now, Priya will be 5 times as old as Raju.

Question : Where is Priya's husband?
(There is a mathematical solution for this. Try it before scrolling down)





























Solution :

Priya (MOM =M) is 21 years older than Raju (Child = C).
M = C + 21

In 6 years from now, Mom will be 5 times as old as her Child.

M + 6 = ( C + 6 ) x 5
C + 21 + 6 = ( C + 6) x 5
C + 27 = 5C + 30
-3 = 4C
C = -3/4

The child is -3/4 years old, that is, -9 months
Child will be born in 9 months
So, right now, Priya's Husband is..


ON TOP OF HER...

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Woman says to her mother:
'I'm divorcing him...
All he wants is anal sex..
My asshole is now the size of a 50 paise coin.
Earlier it used to be the size of a 5 paise coin.
'Mother responds:
'You're married to a crorepati lawyer ... you live in an 8 bedroom mansion in Ludhiana,
You drive a Mercedes 300SEL...
You get 100,000 a week allowance...
You take 6 vacations a year..
and
You want to throw all that away
Just for 45 paise?

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Boy n girl chating on facebook...
.
.
.
Girl- din bhar facebook pe online hai..chutiya hai kya ?

Boy- tu hogi chutiya...tera pura khandan chutiyaa..aur fb tere baap ka hai kya ????

Girl (after 3-4 minutes) - i was asking about holidays.


Desperation is when ur in a taxi.
Ur girlfriend texts u,
"SEX TONIGHT?"
You type, "YES"
Then a thief snatches
ur phone thru d window and instead of shouting for "HELP!"
You shout,
"send mar.....!
Send mar! Bhenchod
Phone leja magar Send to maarrr"

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Cant stop laughingA man ordered for a voice automated robot car that does anything he tells it to do correctly without any error.

He got the car and started sending it on errands. He became very proud of what the car could do without mistakes.

One day, he was home and his wife told him to tell the car to go and pick the children from school as she was very tired.

The man agreed and said to the car; Car, go and bring my children from school.

The car went and didn't return in time as expected, they knew something must be wrong.

Several hours later and no car, the man became apprehensive.

He dressed up and got ready to lodge a report at the police station. As he and his wife stepped outside they saw the car coming with an overload of children.

The car parked right in front of them and said; "These are your children sir". In the car were their Landlady's two daughters, their choir mistress's two sons, his wife's best friend's daughter, their pastor's son and their neighbours two sons.

The Wife said; Don't tell me all these are your children ?.

The man asked her calmly; Can you first tell me why our children are not in the car?. ...

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Never understood this joke! Some one explain

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Got two back to back mails from BOOKMYSHOW:

So what is the actual rating?? Whatever it is.. not booking from bookmyshow.. Actually not interested to even see the movie now..

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what are holidays called in hindi???

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Thats what happens when we type hindi ...She wanted to ask if holidays were going on ..he thought well you know...