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**anilp** · 07-27-2013, 12:06 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

In case you have to go "shopping" this weekend.

**chaosaddict** · 07-27-2013, 12:32 PM

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FB - hope its not offensive

**nadz11.ns** · 07-27-2013, 12:42 PM

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when in an argument with wife/gf.. just remember this..

**anilp** · 07-27-2013, 01:25 PM

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Valid point

)

**psr** · 07-27-2013, 05:56 PM

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The AMAZING Lyre bird which can mimic any sound......the bird is endowed with enhanced FOXP2 gene...

This Bird can copy the sound of everybody including Human - LyreBird - YouTube

Amazing! Bird Sounds From The Lyre Bird - David Attenborough - BBC Wildlife

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjE0Kdfos4Y

Want more natural history and wildlife videos? Visit the official BBC Earth channel: http://bit.ly/BBCEarthWWBBC EarthThe BBC Earth YouTube channel is home t...

**anilp** · 07-27-2013, 06:44 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Weight issues

**rreneav1987** · 07-27-2013, 07:58 PM

**petrolhead_chn** · 07-28-2013, 10:02 AM

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This one made me laugh for sometime...

BETRAYAL

**xpranav** · 07-28-2013, 11:37 AM

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This is what happens in a SHARK Cinema Theater

**icemang** · 07-28-2013, 02:33 PM

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This is mildly amusing. The last part is immensely introspective...

**devils_friend** · 07-28-2013, 03:07 PM

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Har insaan ki 5 maa hoti hai.
.
.
1st apni maa.
.
.
2nd dadi maa.
.
.
3rd nani maa.
.
.
4th saasu ma.
.
.
.
.
Aur 1 maa wo jiske baare me mummy kehti hai: ye har roz 12 bje raat ko teri kaun si maa ka phone aata
hai...??

**rreneav1987** · 07-28-2013, 09:24 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

A Bit Long.. But you might LoL after reading this

New HR Policy must read

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Transportation

It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary

If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise

If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise

If you drive a pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise

Sick Leave:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY:

Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

ABSENCE DUE TO YOUR OWN DEATH:

This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

Casual leave:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

**aargee** · 07-28-2013, 10:11 PM

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ROTFL

Revised 3 idiots...

**anilp** · 07-28-2013, 11:42 PM

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))

**anilp** · 07-28-2013, 11:45 PM

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There's a vegetarian answer for every requirement.

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