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Good one bro...good one...

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Irony



True Dat


I wouldn't wanna fly in that plane.

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Shiv18.... You have understood Administration and accounting procedures perfectly....


Balgi....the first one about pothole repair actually happened in my area, and the crane which came to lift toppled over since the boom was extended above safe level of lifting...I had such a laugh then...and now with your post.. To both of you gentlemen,..Thanks for making my morning a Happy one

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In a 'joy' ful mood!

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Squeezing in after a long time.


An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use the rubber all the time.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he awakes one morning to find his johnson in terrible shape. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: “I’ve got bad news for you. You’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.”

The man looks a little perplexed and says: “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc.”

The doctor answers: “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate.”

The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!”

The doctor replies: “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice.”

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease.

The Chinese doctor examines his johnson and proclaims: “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease.”

The guy says to the doctor: “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate it!”

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: “Stupid American doctor, always want to operate. Make more money, that way. No need to operate!”

“Oh, Thank God!,” the man replies.

“Yes,” says the Chinese doctor, “you no worry! Wait two weeks... it fall off by itself!”

Cheers!
VJ

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weight reduction everywhere

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For all IT engg

Sent from my HM 1SW using xBhp Connect mobile app

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Some people have a different sense of humor......

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It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.

Thomas Sowell

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the

newspaper.

Jerry Seinfeld

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

Joey Adams

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

Fred Allen

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.

Gloria Steinem

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Robert Orben

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Erma Bombeck

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.

Calvin Coolidge

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Don't drink water after eating fish, because drinkng water may cause the fish to swim & then u will feel gulu gulu in ur stomach.

Doctor-IIN Nalasopara

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Teacher in a mythology class asks it students to give names of 2 Demons they are aware of....

Indian : Ahirawan and Mahirawan
Greek: Hercules and Pericles
Indonesian: Machuku and Pickuku

South African: Duckworth and Lewis...

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HR addressing employees -
HR Head: This year too, increments will be as per the Bell Curve 🔔

Employee: what is that ?

HR Head: Let me put it in Hindi, "Ghanta milega"..!

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A woman brought a very limp duck in to Dr.Santa,a veterinary surgeon.As she laid her pet on the table,
the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the duck’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead,” replied Dr.Santa.

“How can you be so sure?” she protested.“I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something.” The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.

He returned a few minutes later with a Labrador. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement,
the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck
from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat.The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the
bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

Dr.Santa turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!” she cried, “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!”

The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
the bill would have been $10, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”

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A very touching story ....

A man purchased an Enfield Bullet 350cc...so that he could take his girlfriend for long drives. But, unfortunately, he was not able to talk to his girlfriend while riding on it because of the loud Bullet sound. He got fed up and sold his Bullet n bought an 100cc bike.
He got married to his girlfriend and one year later.....

He bought an Enfield Bullet 500cc.
😜😝😂