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If " Nike " was founded by a Woman... its tagline would have been-

Just do it if you want to... I don't want to force you... it's your life... Do what you want to... Who am I to say anything?

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Once upon a time ..a small boy named Hameed lived in a tiny Moroccan village. All his classmates hated him for his stupidity especially his teacher who was always yelling at him "you are driving me crazy Hameed" ..one day his mother went to check out how he is doing at school and the teacher told her honestly that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her whole career...the mother could not accept such a feed back and she took her son out from that school. she even shifted to another city ...

25 years later, that teacher got a cardiac disorder and all the doctors have advised her to go for an open heart operation which only one surgeon could perform..
left with no other choice she did it and the surgery was successful ...when she opened her eyes ,she saw a handsome doctor smiling to her, being under anesthesia effect, she wanted to thank him but could not talk, in turn, he was staring at her face which started turning blue, she was raising her hand trying to tell him some thing but in vain and eventually died...
the doctor was shocked and was trying to understand what just happened, till he turned back and saw our friend Hameed working as a cleaner in that hospital who unplugged the ventilator to connect his vacuum cleaner......

If you were thinking that Hameed became a doctor, its because you have been watching too many hindi movies or have been reading too many motivational books... 😂😝

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New Guy....Really enjoyable jokes about teacher and the end...esp the take on movies , and motivational books....

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Thanks psr ji.


😜
IN A COMPETITION FOR POEMS,
IN WHICH THE FIRST LINE MUST BE ROMANTIC,
BUT SECOND LINE SHOULD BE THE OPPOSITE.


Here is the ultimate prize winning poem...

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,

Marrying you messed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not.

I love your smile, your face and your eyes,

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My feelings for you, no words can tell,

Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

What inspired this amazing rhyme?

A bottle of tequila, with some lime !
😂😂😂😂

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A man walks into a bar and sees a pianist, who is only one foot tall, playing the piano. He talks to the bartender and says, "That's amazing! Where did you find a 12 inch pianist?" The bartender replies, "Oh, I have a genie in the back room who grants wishes. Give it a try if you want." The man goes to the genie and says, "Oh genie, I wish I had a 100 million bucks." The genie nods his head and a few seconds later there's a puff of smoke and 100 million ducks fly over the man's head. The man goes back to the bartender and complains, "I wished for 100 million bucks, not 100 million ducks!" And the bartender says, "Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"

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Now this is logic............ :P

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Honest answer from a guru...

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English Vinglish!

Can any one say the difference between 'Complete' and 'Finished'?

No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between 'Complete' and 'Finished.'

However, in a linguistic conference, held in London England, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clever winner.

His final challenge was this. Some say there is no difference between 'Complete' and 'Finished.' Please explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand.

His response was: When you marry the right woman, you are 'Complete.' If you marry the wrong woman, you are 'Finished.' And, when the right woman catches you with the wrong woman, you are 'Completely Finished.'

His answer received a five minute standing ovation.

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The only crush left in life after being married is ''Candy crush''

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Best answer ever

"Wife asks - why is the girl on left side and boy on right side in all marriages?

"Husband's reply - According to profit and loss statement a/c, all income is on right side and expenses are on left side".....

😄Happy march ending.😄😜

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Sometimes banks are helpful!!!!....

Rajesh and Mona are flying to Australia to celebrate their anniversary
when suddenly, over the PA system, the Pilot announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.

Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued as it is a totally unknown island. So we may have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later after deep thought, Rajesh turns to his wife and still shaken from the crash landing, asks "Mona, have we paid our Credit Card dues yet?"

"Oh, No! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque,"

"And Did you send cheque for the auto loan this month?" he asks.

"Oh! Forgive me, Rajesh," begged Mona. "I didn't send that one, either."

Rajesh grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 20 years. Mona pulls away and asks him, "So, why are you kissing me?"

Rajesh : "We are Saved! ICICI will find us!"
😜😄😄😄

Cheers,

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7 categories of Girls in one's life:

1. Hard disk girl - Remembers everything you say
2. RAM girl - Forgets everything the moment you turn off .
3. Screensaver Girl - Just for Looking
4. Internet Girl - Hard to reach and pocket burner
5. Server Girl - Always busy with something or someone
6. Multimedia Girl - All fashionable, Looks Hot, and teases with your brain
7. Virus Girl - This type is normally called as WIFE, once inherited, never goes off unless formatted.

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Oye, where are you taking that pregnant lady to....You should take her to a hospital you idiot, not to Pizza Hut

Abbe saale, In Pizza Hut, the delivery is free.

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GoPro is passe. GoAmateur!

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The age of corruption since, the dawn of time (warning: the joke below to be taken in the right spirit.. )

After the war, Hanumanji submitted his Travel Allowance Bill for his official tour for collecting Sanjeevani Booti to Ayodhya administration.

The Auditor in Bill Section raised 3 objections :

(1) Hanumanji did not take prior permission of the appropriate authority (Bharat), the King of Ayodhya, during the relevant time for his travel

(2) Hanumanji being Grade 2-officer was not entitled to air travel;

(3) Hanumanji was asked to bring Sanjeevani Booti, just a single plant, but he carried a whole mountain (unauthorized excess baggage).

The Auditor returned the bill. King Ram could do nothing except mark it down for re-examination.

A worried Hanumanji approached the Auditor and offered a bribe of 20% of the T.A.Bill amount.

The Auditor now wrote on the Bill :

Re-examined :
1. Even during the relevant time, Ram was still the king through his Paduka.

2. Further in an emergency, non-entitled officers can be authorized ex-post facto to fly.

3. Also excess baggage is justified as bringing a wrong plant would have entailed multiple journeys with extra cost; hence bill may be paid.

Ram ji shocked !!
Accounts department rocks😂😝😝 Wish u a happy financial year ending

Cheers,

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I asked myself once, How to handle things.....

My bedroom gave me the perfect answer

Roof said : Always aim higher
Fan said: Be cool always
Clock said: You should value time
Calendar said: Always be upto date
Wallet said: Save for your future too...
Mirron said: Admire yourself for things done
Window said: Look outside as well
Floor said: Be down to earth

And then i looked up to my bed, who said
"Arey kyun tension yaar, come and sleep, lets see those later"

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Cupboard said: Lock all your problems in me, and forget about them.