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Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

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  • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    Originally posted by rreneav1987 View Post

    This guy couldn't afford a car hence the below

    Dude, that modification must be gaining popularity (Maybe licensed as invalid carriage) just like how we made the Rodeo 3-wheller conversion popular here for handicapped people.

    Seriousness aside, here's some nerdy fun for IT guys.

    The case of the 500-mile email

    I was working in a job running the campus email system some years ago when
    I got a call from the chairman of the statistics department.

    "We're having a problem sending email out of the department."

    "What's the problem?" I asked.

    "We can't send mail more than 500 miles," the chairman explained.

    I choked on my latte. "Come again?"

    "We can't send mail farther than 500 miles from here," he repeated. "A
    little bit more, actually. Call it 520 miles. But no farther."

    "Um... Email really doesn't work that way, generally," I said, trying to
    keep panic out of my voice. One doesn't display panic when speaking to a
    department chairman, even of a relatively impoverished department like
    statistics. "What makes you think you can't send mail more than 500
    miles?"

    "It's not what I *think*," the chairman replied testily. "You see, when
    we first noticed this happening, a few days ago--"

    "You waited a few DAYS?" I interrupted, a tremor tinging my voice. "And
    you couldn't send email this whole time?"

    "We could send email. Just not more than--"

    "--500 miles, yes," I finished for him, "I got that. But why didn't you
    call earlier?"

    "Well, we hadn't collected enough data to be sure of what was going on
    until just now." Right. This is the chairman of *statistics*. "Anyway, I
    asked one of the geostatisticians to look into it--"

    "Geostatisticians..."

    "--yes, and she's produced a map showing the radius within which we can
    send email to be slightly more than 500 miles. There are a number of
    destinations within that radius that we can't reach, either, or reach
    sporadically, but we can never email farther than this radius."

    "I see," I said, and put my head in my hands. "When did this start? A
    few days ago, you said, but did anything change in your systems at that
    time?"

    "Well, the consultant came in and patched our server and rebooted it.
    But I called him, and he said he didn't touch the mail system."

    "Okay, let me take a look, and I'll call you back," I said, scarcely
    believing that I was playing along. It wasn't April Fool's Day. I tried
    to remember if someone owed me a practical joke.

    I logged into their department's server, and sent a few test mails. This
    was in the Research Triangle of North Carolina, and a test mail to my own
    account was delivered without a hitch. Ditto for one sent to Richmond,
    and Atlanta, and Washington. Another to Princeton (400 miles) worked.

    But then I tried to send an email to Memphis (600 miles). It failed.
    Boston, failed. Detroit, failed. I got out my address book and started
    trying to narrow this down. New York (420 miles) worked, but Providence
    (580 miles) failed.

    I was beginning to wonder if I had lost my sanity. I tried emailing a
    friend who lived in North Carolina, but whose ISP was in Seattle.
    Thankfully, it failed. If the problem had had to do with the geography of
    the human recipient and not his mail server, I think I would have broken
    down in tears.

    Having established that--unbelievably--the problem as reported was true,
    and repeatable, I took a look at the sendmail.cf file. It looked fairly
    normal. In fact, it looked familiar.

    I diffed it against the sendmail.cf in my home directory. It hadn't been
    altered--it was a sendmail.cf I had written. And I was fairly certain I
    hadn't enabled the "FAIL_MAIL_OVER_500_MILES" option. At a loss, I
    telnetted into the SMTP port. The server happily responded with a SunOS
    sendmail banner.

    Wait a minute... a SunOS sendmail banner? At the time, Sun was still
    shipping Sendmail 5 with its operating system, even though Sendmail 8 was
    fairly mature. Being a good system administrator, I had standardized on
    Sendmail 8. And also being a good system administrator, I had written a
    sendmail.cf that used the nice long self-documenting option and variable
    names available in Sendmail 8 rather than the cryptic punctuation-mark
    codes that had been used in Sendmail 5.

    The pieces fell into place, all at once, and I again choked on the dregs
    of my now-cold latte. When the consultant had "patched the server," he
    had apparently upgraded the version of SunOS, and in so doing
    *downgraded* Sendmail. The upgrade helpfully left the sendmail.cf
    alone, even though it was now the wrong version.

    It so happens that Sendmail 5--at least, the version that Sun shipped,
    which had some tweaks--could deal with the Sendmail 8 sendmail.cf, as most
    of the rules had at that point remained unaltered. But the new long
    configuration options--those it saw as junk, and skipped. And the
    sendmail binary had no defaults compiled in for most of these, so, finding
    no suitable settings in the sendmail.cf file, they were set to zero.

    One of the settings that was set to zero was the timeout to connect to the
    remote SMTP server. Some experimentation established that on this
    particular machine with its typical load, a zero timeout would abort a
    connect call in slightly over three milliseconds.

    An odd feature of our campus network at the time was that it was 100%
    switched. An outgoing packet wouldn't incur a router delay until hitting
    the POP and reaching a router on the far side. So time to connect to a
    lightly-loaded remote host on a nearby network would actually largely be
    governed by the speed of light distance to the destination rather than by
    incidental router delays.

    Feeling slightly giddy, I typed into my shell:

    $ units
    1311 units, 63 prefixes

    You have: 3 millilightseconds
    You want: miles
    * 558.84719
    / 0.0017893979

    "500 miles, or a little bit more."
    I am back!

    Comment


    • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

      Australian PM, threatening to expel all 'illegal migrants' got this response for a true Australian

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      Sent from my XT1033 using xBhp Connect mobile app

      Comment


      • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

        Basic 'Modern' Needs

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        The real beauty lies in throttle's twist!!

        Headlight can be replaced, Head cannot be. Wear a helmet.

        Comment


        • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

          "If you win the lottery, the first thing I want you to get me is a face lift and a boob job," said my 49 year old girlfriend as I was checking my ticket.
          "Well, actually, the first thing I would buy is a reconditioned engine and a respray for my Mondeo," I replied.
          "Why would you waste your money tarting that old thing up, you might as well get yourself a new one," she said.
          "My point exactly."

          ----consecutive posts auto-merged-----

          "If you win the lottery, the first thing I want you to get me is a face lift and a boob job," said my 49 year old girlfriend as I was checking my ticket.
          "Well, actually, the first thing I would buy is a reconditioned engine and a respray for my Mondeo," I replied.
          "Why would you waste your money tarting that old thing up, you might as well get yourself a new one," she said.
          "My point exactly."
          I am back!

          Comment


          • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

            Click image for larger version

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            So true!
            Mumbai - Bangalore Solo Ride

            A Breath-Taking Ride (Literally)

            Comment


            • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

              A pregnant wife of an Automobile engineer is admitted for delivery. She calls her husband and says - Your new vehicle has been delivered.
              Engineer questions back - With or without the gear shift lever.
              R15S - Current
              Honda Dio - Current
              TNT 600i - Sold
              Classic 500 - Sold
              Pulsar 220 dtsi - Sold
              Yamaha YBX125 - Sold

              Comment


              • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                Wife: Dear, our computer is not working even if I give the command correctly
                Husband: Exactly, because, that is not your husband

                ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Laughing at your own mistakes, can lenghten your life - Willam Shakespear
                Laughing at your wife's mistakes, can shorten your life - Mrs. Shakespear

                ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                What is the definition of Happy couple

                HE does what SHE wants
                SHE does what SHE wants...

                Its so simple...

                ----consecutive posts auto-merged-----

                Wife: Dear, our computer is not working even if I give the command correctly
                Husband: Exactly, because, that is not your husband

                ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Laughing at your own mistakes, can lenghten your life - Willam Shakespear
                Laughing at your wife's mistakes, can shorten your life - Mrs. Shakespear

                ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                What is the definition of Happy couple

                HE does what SHE wants
                SHE does what SHE wants...

                Its so simple...
                R15S - Current
                Honda Dio - Current
                TNT 600i - Sold
                Classic 500 - Sold
                Pulsar 220 dtsi - Sold
                Yamaha YBX125 - Sold

                Comment


                • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                  Way to go for that Price

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                  The real beauty lies in throttle's twist!!

                  Headlight can be replaced, Head cannot be. Wear a helmet.

                  Comment


                  • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                    The Bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.

                    Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.

                    So he announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, today is the luckiest day of my life". Then he raised his hands with what is his daughter gave him and
                    said, "My daughter has finally returned my Credit Card to me!!!"

                    The whole audience burst into laughter, Except the Groom!!
                    The real beauty lies in throttle's twist!!

                    Headlight can be replaced, Head cannot be. Wear a helmet.

                    Comment


                    • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

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                      • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                        Teacher - What is d full form of MATHS?

                        Student - Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Student.
                        The real beauty lies in throttle's twist!!

                        Headlight can be replaced, Head cannot be. Wear a helmet.

                        Comment


                        • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                          How To Call A Family Meeting In 3 Easy Steps:

                          1. Find the Wi Fi router.

                          2. Turn it Off.

                          3. Wait in that Room !!
                          The real beauty lies in throttle's twist!!

                          Headlight can be replaced, Head cannot be. Wear a helmet.

                          Comment


                          • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

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                            The real beauty lies in throttle's twist!!

                            Headlight can be replaced, Head cannot be. Wear a helmet.

                            Comment


                            • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                              Cats when they sleep....

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                              Young riders pick a destination and go, Old riders pick a direction and go !
                              My best trip till date:http://www.xbhp.com/talkies/tourer/2...uke-390-a.html

                              Comment


                              • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                                When you are short enough to fit into the fridge

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                                The real beauty lies in throttle's twist!!

                                Headlight can be replaced, Head cannot be. Wear a helmet.

                                Comment

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