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I want to smoke what this guy is smoking!

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Yamaha Classic 350:what:

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A paradox?

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Doctor: Why is your tooth broken in half
Patient: I ate the sweet made by my wife


Doctor: If you know it was hard, you could have refused from eating it
Patient: I would have a broken tooth rather than being tooth-less

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Jurassic World [deleted scene]

Scientist: "Indominus Rex has escaped"

Irrfan Khan: "I had told you to put Syska LED in the cage"

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Jack Reacher (2012) comedy bit.

A young girl is assigned to lure a assumed/presumed molester out of the bar for a beat-up. After breaking the ice with target the girl says:

Sandy : It's kinda loud in here. Do you want to may be go some place quieter? I have a car!
JackReacher : You're old enough to drive?
Sandy : I'm old enough to do a lot of things. **raises eye brows**
JackReacher : I'm on a budget, Sandy.
Sandy : What?
JackReacher : I can't afford you.
Sandy : I'm not a hooker!
JackReacher : Oh, then I really can't afford you! **shakes his head**

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The other one is creative writing, right?

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credits : thedesistuff

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credits whatsapp

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India being india.

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Just joined xbhp and spent 4 hrs nonstop on this thread
haven't laughed so hard or so much in a long time....

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Good to know...The purpose of opening this thread was to share GOOD clean jokes to relieve members of boredom and stress .

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Husband: I will take you to Andaman and Nicobar islands for our 10th anniversary.
Wife: So nice of you, Where will you take me for our 25th anniversary then

Husband: I will bring you back to our home.

----consecutive posts auto-merged-----

One politician teaching his son the spelling of assassination

One ass behind another ass behind that is I and behind I the whole nation.

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This story is dedicated for those who should think before drunk driving..

I went to a birthday party
but I remember what you said.
You told me not to drink at all,
so I had a Sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
the way you said I would,
that i didn't chose to drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.
I knew I made a healthy choice and
your advice to me was right
as the party finally ended
and the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my own car,
sure to get home in one piece,
never knowing what was coming,
something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement.
I can hear the policeman say,
"The kid that caused this wreck was drunk."
His voice seems far away.
My own blood is all around me,
as I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
"This girl is going to die."
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
while he was flying high,
because he chose to drink and drive
that I would have to die.
So why do people do it,
knowing that it ruins lives?
But now the pain is cutting me
like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell my sister not to be afraid,
Tell Daddy to be brave,
and when I go to heaven to
put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.
Someone should have taught him
that it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his mom and dad had,
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter,
I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me, Mom,
as I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say
I love you and good-bye.

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Nike was found by a man, hence the tag line - Just Do it.


What if it had been found by a woman, the tag line will go as is -


Just do it..If you want to...I am not forcing you to...Its totally upto you...
Anyways you wont listen to me..so do what you want to do and it must happen