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  • While examining the the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen.

    "I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz," says the mortician, "But I can't send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity."

    The mortician removes the penis, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he decides to show it to his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he says, removing the jar from his briefcase.

    "Oh my God!" she screams, "Schwartz is dead!"



    Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?"

    "I have to do that, or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny."

    "That's not going to work."

    "Why not?"

    "Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."


    A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy her cigarettes. He walks there only to find it closed. So, he goes into a nearby bar to use their vending machine.

    At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and eventually end up in her apartment. After they've had some fun, he realizes it's 3 a.m. and says, "My wife's going to kill me. Do you have any talcum powder?"

    The woman gives him some talcum powder, which he rubs on his hands and then goes home.

    His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and screeches, "Where the hell have you been?!?!"

    "Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there, we had a few drinks, one thing led to another, and I ended up in bed with her."

    "Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!"

    She sees his hands are covered with powder and says, "You liar! You went bowling again!"



    Two guys show up in Heaven at the same time. The first guy says he froze to death, and the second guy tells him that he died of a heart attack.

    "How did that happen?" asks the first guy.

    "Well, I came home and thought I heard my wife with another man. But when I searched the house, I couldn't find anybody. I was so stricken with remorse for wrongly accusing my wife of infidelity, I had a heart attack and died on the spot."

    "Geez," says the first guy. "If you'd opened the fridge, we'd both be alive right now."
    When Was The Last Time,You Did Something For The First Time.

    Comment


    • Last edited by Honda_CBF; 04-08-2013, 06:09 PM.
      http://www.facebook.com/ateesh.kumar

      Comment


      • Some battles are even tough!

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        Cheers!
        VJ
        Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
        The girl said, 'NO!'


        And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


        THE END

        Comment


        • PSR ji going back to your post, is this what you meant, by AIRBAGS. You posted driver side, I posted both the passenger side and the driver side.


          I guess they are Made in Germany.

          Pssst. I am just talking about PURE mechanics here.

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          Cheers!
          VJ
          Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
          The girl said, 'NO!'


          And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


          THE END

          Comment


          • Originally posted by B7ACKTHORN View Post
            Well...


            [ATTACH=CONFIG]98172[/ATTACH]

            Cheers!
            VJ
            hate to disagree but Football's on my list too

            Warm Regards,
            Pranav


            Use riding gears because Safety doesn't happen by Accident

            Spot me covered in:
            Vega Shadow - SPG Icarus - SPG Ares - SPG Perseus

            Honda CBF Stunner - Oct'11 to till date | Barky's Baby: Honda CBF 125 Modification

            Comment


            • Hahaha!

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              Cheers!
              VJ
              Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
              The girl said, 'NO!'


              And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


              THE END

              Comment


              • Originally posted by B7ACKTHORN View Post
                Well...


                [ATTACH=CONFIG]98172[/ATTACH]

                Cheers!
                VJ
                Well, I would like to add cricket too..
                Last edited by Sushrut; 04-09-2013, 12:22 AM.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by B7ACKTHORN View Post

                  I guess they are Made in Germany.

                  Pssst. I am just talking about PURE mechanics here.


                  Cheers!
                  VJ
                  You are Technically correct....just like Microsoft....
                  Last edited by psr; 04-09-2013, 12:26 AM.
                  When Was The Last Time,You Did Something For The First Time.

                  Comment


                  • today I logged in to the forum after a couple of days and at this thread, while going through the pending pages and posts that I had missed, I was like

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                    Warm Regards,
                    Pranav


                    Use riding gears because Safety doesn't happen by Accident

                    Spot me covered in:
                    Vega Shadow - SPG Icarus - SPG Ares - SPG Perseus

                    Honda CBF Stunner - Oct'11 to till date | Barky's Baby: Honda CBF 125 Modification

                    Comment


                    • what about this quote by the way, hope no one has put it. . .


                      If you want to be happy
                      For a day, drink.
                      If you want to be happy
                      For a year, Marry.
                      but.,
                      If you want to be happy
                      For a Lifetime,

                      RIDE A MOTORCYCLE. . .
                      Yamaha Rx135 - 2005 - 2007 (stolen :mad:)
                      Scooty Pep - 2008 - 2012 (sold)
                      Honda Unicorn - 2012 - 2015 (crashed)
                      Hero Honda Splendor+ 2015 - present (temporary ride)
                      Bajaj Pulsar AS200 - 16th September 2015 - present ride

                      10 years into riding :D
                      Live2Race. . .

                      Comment


                      • @ Rakesh Rok - Good to see a Mysore Guy here

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Agni.Cool View Post
                          @ Rakesh Rok - Good to see a Mysore Guy here
                          Agni.Cool


                          tnk u :-). . .
                          Yamaha Rx135 - 2005 - 2007 (stolen :mad:)
                          Scooty Pep - 2008 - 2012 (sold)
                          Honda Unicorn - 2012 - 2015 (crashed)
                          Hero Honda Splendor+ 2015 - present (temporary ride)
                          Bajaj Pulsar AS200 - 16th September 2015 - present ride

                          10 years into riding :D
                          Live2Race. . .

                          Comment


                          • SURPRISE!! SURPRISE!!

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                            That must be BUMFORTABLE

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                            Cheers!
                            VJ
                            Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
                            The girl said, 'NO!'


                            And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


                            THE END

                            Comment


                            • This's so cool!
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                              facebook.com

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                                Cheers!
                                VJ
                                Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
                                The girl said, 'NO!'


                                And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


                                THE END

                                Comment

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