I guess this post won't violate forum rules. If it does, please remove it.

Like IPL if there was an ISL (Indan sex league) the names of teams would be something like
1)hyderabad hardcore humpers
2)chennai super dicks
3)kolkata night ****ers
4)rajhistan pussies
5)punjab rammers
6)mumbai lesbians
7)dehli daredrillers
and the all time favorates
8)banglore royal strippers

Its been a while since I posted here so let me start with this

ROFL

This one is hilarious.... cudnt stop laughing....

UP Bhaiya went to make a passport.

Offic er- Whats your Name?
Bhaiya - Ramkhilavan Mishra

Officer - Provide us your PAN Details.
Bhaiya -120/300, Banarasi, halka Chuna, double Kattha, navratan kivam , Kachi pakki Supari, long - ilaychi tanik hari patti .

Not sure if this is appropriate, but I'll take my chances

Isn't this feeling GOOD.



Cheers!
VJ

LOL!


Courtesy: 9GAG

Here goes another one

Great Engineers build great Works in Brick and mortar.........

All right class. Good morning again. Wakey, wakey.

Will you follow her from "BEHIND" Yes or No?



Cheers!
VJ

An Indian is calmly having his breakfast when an American, who is chewing gum, sits down beside him. The Indian ignores the American who begins to chat.

The American asks :"Do you eat the bread entirely?"
The Indian answers,"Of course"
American : "We do not. We only eat the inner part. The crust is put in a container and processed and transformed into flour and sold to India..."
The Indian says nothing.

The American continues,"Do you eat this jelly with the bread?"
Indian : "Of course"
American : "We do not. We eat fresh fruits for breakfast and then put the seeds and peels into a container. Later it is processed and transformed to jelly and sold to India."
The Indian says nothing.

Finding the conversation is not getting any interesting; the American says nothing more; but, as the Indian is leaving asks...
Indian : "And what do you do with the condoms after using them?"
American : "We throw them away,of course!"
Indian : "We do not. We keep them in containers, process them transform them into chewing gum and sell it to the United States"

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered"

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians, Everything inside them is color coded"

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order"

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers... those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would"

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no brains, no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable"

Life's like that...

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of the Theater - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Warning - Having experienced most of them above in my life, I vouch, they're not really jokes at the moment when we undergo them!!!

Based on True incident

Old George was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He called up the police, who asked 'Is someone in your house?' and he said 'no'. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, 'Okay' hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

'Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them.' Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response Unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: 'I thought you said that you'd shot them!'

George said, 'I thought you said there was nobody available!'


Moral - Don't mess with old people!!

Very true !! All these laws can be concised to one single law. The Murphy's Law which states "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong".



Sent from xBhp Connect for iOS

Arthur is in his mid 30's, goes to hospital one day, "Doc, I want to be castrated"
"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

Arthur : "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done."
Doctor : "But have you thought it through properly? It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"
Arthur : "I'm aware of that Doc and you're not going to change my mind; either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."
Doctor : "Well, OK," but it's against my better judgment!"

So, Arthur has his operation and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his IV stand.

Heading toward him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.

"Hi there." says Arthur.
"It looks like you've just had the same operation as me."

"Well," said the other patient, "I finally decided after 67 years that I would like to be circumcised"

Arthur stared at him in horror & said "OH SHIT! THAT'S THE WORD!!"