Thanks for this one. I am still smiling. Simply too good!
PS: You should get into politics

I'm not dying to get burned, I'm burning to live

Gotta catch em all.

APT



Cheers!
VJ

Friends envy, Father's pride...

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel, He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday"

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion"

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ....What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub"

The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment"

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends"

[ATTACH=CONFIG]99302[/ATTACH]

lol..............

ROFLMAO! (In Russel's Indian voice rendering) Toooo Good.

Ever thought about that?!

A Motorcyclist somewhere near Africa saves a calf enroute somewhere. Just beautiful.



Cheers!
VJ

A Fireman came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go"

"From now on when I say BELL 1 I want you to strip naked; when I say BELL 2 I want you to jump in bed; And when I say BELL 3 We are going to make love all night"

The next night he came home from work and yelled

'BELL 1!' The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled "BELL 3!", they began making love

After a few minutes the wife yelled 'BELL 4!'
"What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband?

"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."

Guess what I'm hinting at with this 'shloka'.

Charu puru bhayam naasthi.
Chashku pushku madhyamam.
Nisshabdam praana samkadam.



Clue: it's something like what Silencer recites in the speech scene in 3 idiots.
Let me know if anyone figures this out.

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes"

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten'

The woman said, "That's okay"

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to"

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me"

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you"

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine"

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack"

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife

Moral of the story: Women are really ________, but think they're really smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

Cheers!
VJ

Xolani, driving the latest BMW, wasPulled over by a Gauteng policeman at a roadblock.'Congratulation *s', said the cop. 'Because you are wearing your seat belt,You have just won R5,000 in the Arrive Alive safety competition'..Xolani could hardly believe his luck.'What are you going to do with your cash?' asked the traffic cop.'Eish! I'm going to get a driver's license,' Xolani answered.'AAUW!! Please sir, don't listen tohim sir,' yelled Sipho in the passengerSeat. 'He always tries to be smartwhen he is drunk!'With all this noise, Andiswa woke up in the back seat. He took one look atThe cop and moaned, 'YOH! Guys - I TOLD you, stealing the BMW was a bad, badIdea. WE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THE RED MAZDA! BUT YOU ARE ALWAYS CLEVA!!'At that moment, there was a knock from the boot and Zakele's voice said,'Are we over the border yet?Then the cop said : 'Okay, my brothers. How are we sharing this R5000?!!!!