Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Dude.. Take a chill pill, by responding it will only create more OTs.. so cool and go with the flow of Hilarious stuff and your post did keep me smiling thinking about the times I along with my mom might have died because of an accident but survived in matter of 10 minutes.. we missed a bus and we had to take another bus which started 10 mins later from Bangalore to Chennai.. the bus that we missed met with a fatal accident and we thanked God for not letting us take that bus but also prayed for the souls of the dead people to Rest In Peace..

Now back to the Topic.

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

1. When the doorbell rings, a male or kid goes to open the door. But the female runs for her dupatta. ;-)


2. Picking up/dropping a relative (airport / railway station) is an important family affair. :-D


3. We thrive on street food and we don’t get sick. :-)


4. Every Indian mother has 2 careers – Working / Housewife + Match Making. :-P :-D


5. We have all had secret boyfriends / girlfriends. We don’t care about them cheating on us but we dread getting caught by each others parents. :-D ;-)


6. Indian girls have 3 type of brothers. Real brother, Cousin brother, Rakhee brother. :-D


7. The bride must cry at her Vidai. She has no business looking happy. :-P


8. We go on cleaning sprees only during Diwali or when we have guests coming over. :-)


9. However old we are, our parents need to know every detail of our schedule. Daily. No excuses. No exemption. :-)


10. When Indian parents buy tickets, every child becomes under 12. Getting a half ticket is a huge victory! ;-)


11. If we live in another city and don’t call our Mom daily , she’ll freak out and call all our friends to make sure we are alive. :-D


12. No other nationality can beat Indians in bargaining. Chalo bhaiya . Na tera na mera. Itne paise theek hain. :-P ;-)


13. No matter if we are Convent educated. When we are actually angry, we switch to highly effective, dirty, swear words in our mother tongue. :-P :-D


14. We spend more time talking to guests at the door when they are leaving than while sitting in the living room. :-D


15. Why to change the remote batteries when you can just slap the shit out of the remote and make it work ;-)


16. Meeting a person with the same surname is like finding a long lost twin. :-D

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Some stupid facts from Hollywood movies.

1. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

2. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

3. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her.

4. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

5. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

6. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

7. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least a half-hour to escape.

8. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

9. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

10. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

11. If staying in a haunted house, women will investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

12. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

13. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off, but luckily hero will always blindly choose to cut the right wire.

14. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

15. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

----consecutive posts auto-merged-----

Don’t Mess With Engineers
WhatsApp | Doctor, Engineering, English, JOTD |



5 Doctors and 5 Engineers are travelling by rail from Pune to Mumbai.


They gather at Pune Railway Station.


Both groups desperately try to prove their superiority.


SCENE 1 (PUNE-MUMBAI):
————————————–
5 Engineers buy only 1 ticket, and 5 doctors buy 5 tickets. doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come



When TC arrives, all 5 Engineers get into one toilet, so when TC knocks, one hand comes out with the ticket and the TC goes away.


On the return journey, they don’t get a direct train to Pune, so both group decide to take a passenger train till Lonavala, from there they can easily get a Local Train to Pune.


SCENE 2 (MUMBAI-LONAVALA):
——————————————–


Doctorss decided, “This time, we will prove that we are smarter”.


5 doctors buy 1 ticket, Engineers don’t buy any ticket at all ! TC arrives


All doctor IN ONE TOILET.


ALL Engineers IN THE OPPOSITE TOILET.


One Engineer gets out and knocks the door of doctor toilet.


One doctor’s hand comes out with the tickets,


Engineer takes the ticket and enters toilet.


TC drives out all the doctor from the toilet,


And they are heavily fined.


SCENE 3 (LONAVALA):
——————————-
Now, both the groups are at LONAVALA Railway Station.


Doctors are planning their move for a last chance, They board the local train to Pune.


This time, doctors decide that they will play the same (1 ticket) trick.


ALL doctors take 1 ticket


Engineers buy 5 tickets.


TC Comes. All Engineers show their tickets,


AND Doctors are still searching for toilet in the Local train!!!!!


Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are geniuses, Don’t mess with Engineers.






=======================








Boy: I can’t marry u.
My family is totally against it.


Girl: Who are they to stop you?



Boy: My wife & 2 kids!




=====








Heights of :-


1) Fashion?
Lungi with a zip.


2) Laziness?
Asking lift for morning walk.


3) Craziness?
Get blank paper xerox.


4) Honesty?
Pregnant woman taking 2 tickets.

5) De-hydration?
Cow giving milk powder.


6) Hope?
A 99 yr. Old woman going for 295/-recharge to get lifetime incoming.


7) Stupidity?
Looking through key hole of a glass door.


8) Suicide attempt?
A dwarf jumps from the footpath on the road.


9) Height of free time?
You are reading the whole msg…




=====




Earlier people used to remove their hats to give respect


And…


Our new generation…


.


.


Removes head phones to give respect..!!!


====


This is the Hard Fact about youngsters..


.


.


They are always busy watching the “Desktop wallpaper”
Whenever their parents enter their room!

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

TRUE STORY:

Downsides of being a moderator on xBhp -

Receiving a message from pretty women on whatsapp, FB, SMS etc. and replying with "Please don't use SMS Lingo, I cannot comprehend your message!"

Needless to say that was the last message i got from those women

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

ROFL
Similar things used to happen a lot of times when you have worked for long in a BPO environment, more so if you are doing night shift for long. Mom Asks for coffee and you reply saying, "Kindly make a note of your request acceptance number for further assistance " or when somebody asks for a phone number, you tell them the number and add , " They are not case sensitive"

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

You sure they were pretty? - this part of the true story is undoubtedly untrue!

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Thought for Ladies:

If a man does all the things from your favorite movies. It is your responsibility to do all the things from his favorite movies.

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Hats off...
Sent from my Lenovo P780_ROW using xBhp Connect mobile app

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

A look into actual meaning of the words .....

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Meanwhile in UK.



Cheers!
VJ

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Guys, see this scene from the movie "Sau Crore", directed by Dev Anand (!).

It shows such weak and bad acting by people involved, and unless you know the plot (I don't know either), you'll end up ROFL'ing. Just to have a further laugh, also read the wikipedia of this film's story in the end.

Bride's name is Kamlesh. Man's name is Raj.... Someone else's name is Somnath.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2u1HvdJhRoo [/URL]



Sau Crore - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

True..:thumbup:

Sent from my Lenovo P780_ROW using xBhp Connect mobile app

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Differences between a Man and a Woman

CALLING NAMES
If Cindy, Suzanne, Sarah and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Cindy, Suzanne, Sarah and Rose.
If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Shithead, fartbreath, Dickface and f**Ktard.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

looks
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Lot of people don't understand the value of their wives, until a judge decides the alimony amount.