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**psr** · 07-03-2013, 09:53 AM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Originally posted by princesirohi View Post

now-a-days many of the jokes are repeated.... is the thread losing steam...

Many a time when we look or hear a joke it puts a smile on our face...some times we even forget that we have seen it before....it is the reason that some of the jokes are repeated...I guess may be 5 to 6 jokes have been repeated, and rest all are first time...imagine that in a thread with 1,9xx posts and 97 K views ... I feel it is better average than the regular threads where AFR ,head light bulb,FE and Tires are discussed to death.....

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**chaosaddict** · 07-03-2013, 10:48 AM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Originally posted by psr View Post

Sir, your posts made my day

Originally posted by psr View Post

Many a time when we look or hear a joke it puts a smile on our face...some times we even forget that we have seen it before....it is the reason that some of the jokes are repeated...I guess may be 5 to 6 jokes have been repeated, and rest all are first time...imagine that in a thread with 1,9xx posts and 97 K views ... I feel it is better average than the regular threads where AFR ,head light bulb,FE and Tires are discussed to death.....

Originally posted by aargee View Post

The original joke was between Israelis & Palestine & posted here before

If you follow carefully many are repeated but thanks to the religious contributors, the thread's alive & KICKING, not to mention, I start my day reading this thread updates

I am really grateful to all; this is a real stress-buster.

**princesirohi** · 07-03-2013, 10:50 AM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

[MENTION=32286]psr[/MENTION]: yes its still better than lot many other threads... cheers..!!!

**psr** · 07-03-2013, 11:31 AM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Originally posted by princesirohi View Post

@psr: yes its still better than lot many other threads... cheers..!!!

There are no BB kit, FFE,High lift cam and slug fest here..........All of us are equal and united in just pure enjoyment

**devils_friend** · 07-03-2013, 11:49 AM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Boy: I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 60).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching someone sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors - green, red, orange & blue - and my dad kept staring at her. The teen would look over and find my dad staring, every time. When she'd finally had enough, she sarcastically asked: "What's the matter old man, never done anything Wild in your life?" Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so I wouldn't choke on His response which I knew would be a great one. In classic style, he responded without batting an eyelid: "Got drunk years back and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my daughter!?"

**chaosaddict** · 07-03-2013, 11:54 AM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Originally posted by psr View Post

There are no BB kit, FFE,High lift cam and slug fest here..........All of us are equal and united in just pure enjoyment

LOL,, I think I get which thread you're referring to Sir..... now don't say 'nothing specific'

**xpranav** · 07-03-2013, 12:29 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

so this is how it is all about becoming successful

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and this one is specially dedicated to @princesirohi to make him feel cozy

today

A group of men are changing in locker room at a golf club. Suddenly a cell phone on the bench starts to ring, and a man puts it on speaker phone as he continues getting dressed. He says "Hello?", the woman on the other line says "Honey, it's me. Are you still at the golf club?"
"Yeah, what's going on?"
"I'm out shopping and found this great new leather coat, and it's only $500 dollars, can I get it?"
"Sure, if you like it."
"Thank you! I was also at the dealership earlier and saw the new Mercedes models, and there is one that's absolutely gorgeous, and I really want it!"
"How much is it?"
"About $80,000..."
"Alright, but for that price I want all the extra options included."
"Great! One other thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market, but they're asking for 1,500,000."
"Well, go ahead and make them an offer, but don't go above 1,250,000."
"Really? Okay! I love you, see you later!"
"Love you too."
The rest of the men in the club stare at him wide-eyed. As he hangs up the phone he looks at the men and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

source: Funny Golf Locker Room Phone Joke | Funny Joke Pictures

**rreneav1987** · 07-03-2013, 12:53 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

A young couple were on their way to Vegas to get married. Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she had a confession to make. The reason that they have not been too intimate is because she is very flat chested.

"If you want to cancel the wedding, then I'll understand," she said. The guy remarked, "I don't mind that you're flat, and sex is not the most important thing in a marriage anyway."

Several miles down the road, the guy turned to the girl and said that he also had a confession to make. The reason that they have not been too intimate is because he is just like a baby below the waist. The girl remarked, "I don't mind that like a baby below the
waist, and sex is not the most important thing in a marriage anyway."

And so, the happy couple went on to Vegas and got married. On their wedding night, the girl took off her clothes. True to her word, she is as flat as a washboard. Then, the guy took
off his clothes. After one glance at his naked body, the girl fainted and fell to the floor.

When she regained consciousness, the guy said, "I told you before we got married, so why were you so surprised?"

"You told me it was just like a baby." The guy replied, "It is! 8 pounds and 21 inches long!"

**The Monk** · 07-03-2013, 01:05 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Originally posted by xpranav View Post

so this is how it is all about becoming successful

A group of men are changing in locker room at a golf club. Suddenly a cell phone on the bench starts to ring, and a man puts it on speaker phone as he continues getting dressed. He says "Hello?", the woman on the other line says "Honey, it's me. Are you still at the golf club?"
"Yeah, what's going on?"
"I'm out shopping and found this great new leather coat, and it's only $500 dollars, can I get it?"
"Sure, if you like it."
"Thank you! I was also at the dealership earlier and saw the new Mercedes models, and there is one that's absolutely gorgeous, and I really want it!"
"How much is it?"
"About $80,000..."
"Alright, but for that price I want all the extra options included."
"Great! One other thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market, but they're asking for 1,500,000."
"Well, go ahead and make them an offer, but don't go above 1,250,000."
"Really? Okay! I love you, see you later!"
"Love you too."
The rest of the men in the club stare at him wide-eyed. As he hangs up the phone he looks at the men and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

source: Funny Golf Locker Room Phone Joke | Funny Joke Pictures

And you thought it was a joke !!!!

Indian women buyers rev up luxury car market - The Economic Times

**rreneav1987** · 07-03-2013, 01:08 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. what is it?" she asked. "an apple" replied little Raymond "no," said the teacher " it's a tomato but it shows your thinking." "I've now got something round, a greenish colored you can eat it." "An apple," replied little Ian "No it's an onion, but it shows your thinking." Little scruffy Johnny at the back of the class says "I've got something under my desk that's an inch long, white and it has a red end." "Dirty little boy," said the teacher "No it's a match, but it shows what you were thinking," he answered.

**psr** · 07-03-2013, 01:12 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

**Prith** · 07-03-2013, 01:27 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

See the hardcore truth is that we guys all come to this thread tired and frustrated from our days work, but leave refreshed, charged and energetic..thats the essence and all kudos goes to thread starter Mr. PSR

.

Think again, how many jokes shared here are all too real in everyone's life. Though we see them through a stern prism and serious attitude, here its all fun and makes us rethink the other perspective of those thoughts that we had.

All contributors, "Thanks" again on behalf of all other bikers for taking away our pains and making us fill with laughter even when we are in middle of a high profile meeting in Office

.

**psr** · 07-03-2013, 02:43 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Here is a Funny way to take out your depression and start feeling good.To the left of the boss you get the punching weapons and right top the medicine to make him alright,...so you can start again...

The bashing game is called " Hit The BOSS "

**rreneav1987** · 07-03-2013, 03:29 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

==

A vampire goes into a pub and asks for boiling water. The barman says "I thought you only drank blood?" The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says "I'm making tea".

==

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

"Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man," was the reply.

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her. He's naked as well! The b**ch!" He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a mate of mine, a bit of a lad, so just shoot his d*ck off to teach him a lesson."

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently. "Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a thousand dollars here....."

==

One day this man was driving for hours through the country side and needed to go to the bathroom urgently. He sees an old store off the side of the road, pulls up and proceeds to the bathroom. When he was done dumping his captains log, he looked around and noticed to his shock there was no toilet paper and a sign on the wall - "Sorry, there is no toilet paper, but if you wipe your arse with your index and middle fingers and stick them in this hole they will be licked clean." The man thought to himself that that was nasty and that he was not going to do that. So he sits for a further hour trying to figure out what to do, and eventually realizes that although its nasty, that he would do it. So he wipes his arse with his fingers and sticks them in the hole. Then a man on the other side slams two bricks onto the mans fingers so hard the unbelievable pain causes him to shove his fingers in his mouth.

==

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead. "I'm afraid he died last week." she explains. The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week." The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?" "Coz," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."

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This one is pretty old.. but still brings that laugh

A professor at the University of Texas was giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands. "Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you
who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" About 15 students raise their hands.

"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" 3 students raise their hands. "That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

Way in the back, Bubba raises! his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Bubba,
tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?" Bubba replied, "Heck! From way back there I thought you said "Goats!"

**devils_friend** · 07-03-2013, 04:11 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

A biker stops a young girl who's about to jump off a bridge.
He asks her: Do U mind giving me the final kiss before you jump?
She quietly accepted & gave him one of the deepest lingering kisses he had ever had.
When she finished, He said: Wow, this is the best Kiss I ever had.
Why R U committing suicide?
She replied: My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl..
The biker comitd suicide...

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