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Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

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  • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    Happy diwali folks!

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    Got a $5 head? Get a $5 helmet.
    Because everyone who passes, isn't a martyr!

    Bullet Service Guide CBR 250R Parts Manual Fz16 service manual - https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1-...VFQmJzakk/view
    Hero Moto Corp Bikes' Parts RE STD 350 Wiring Diagram (CI) Service Manual - Classic 350/500
    ZMR parts - https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-U...it?usp=sharing
    P200NS Spares' prices - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/...taGd5R2c#gid=0

    Comment


    • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

      Life can be a bi**h


      Ride safe and have fun.
      Regards
      Nadeem

      Comment


      • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

        Customer: I want to buy dog food. Seller: Do you have a dog? Customer: Yes Seller: Where is it? Customer: At home. Seller: Sorry, i can't sell you dog food unless i see the dog first, it is our policy.

        The Next Day.... Customer: Do you have cat food? Seller: Where is your cat? Customer: It is at home. Seller: Sorry, i can't sell cat food for you unless i see the cat. Two Days Later.... Customer went there holding a nylon bag. Seller: What is in your bag? Customer: Put your hand inside first. (The seller puts his hand inside) Seller: It's cold, what is it? Customer: It is my shit! I need toilet paper. . .


        Cheers!!!
        Yamaha Rx135 - 2005 - 2007 (stolen :mad:)
        Scooty Pep - 2008 - 2012 (sold)
        Honda Unicorn - 2012 - 2015 (crashed)
        Hero Honda Splendor+ 2015 - present (temporary ride)
        Bajaj Pulsar AS200 - 16th September 2015 - present ride

        10 years into riding :D
        Live2Race. . .

        Comment


        • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

          Click image for larger version

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          Cheers!
          VJ
          Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
          The girl said, 'NO!'


          And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


          THE END

          Comment


          • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

            I am back!

            Comment


            • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

              Chuha ped pe chad gaya,

              Monkey: Ped pe kyu aaya?

              Chuha:are chiku khane aya hu yaar.

              Monkey:ch*du ye toh aam ka ped hai.

              Chuha:zindagi me ek baat yad rakhna bh*sdike, majdoor ko khodna or baap ko ch*dna mat sikhana.
              Me chiku sath laya hu ch*tiye

              Comment


              • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                [MENTION=61791]Cleaner[/MENTION]

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                Cheers!
                VJ
                Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
                The girl said, 'NO!'


                And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


                THE END

                Comment


                • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                  Click image for larger version

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                  Cheers!!!
                  Yamaha Rx135 - 2005 - 2007 (stolen :mad:)
                  Scooty Pep - 2008 - 2012 (sold)
                  Honda Unicorn - 2012 - 2015 (crashed)
                  Hero Honda Splendor+ 2015 - present (temporary ride)
                  Bajaj Pulsar AS200 - 16th September 2015 - present ride

                  10 years into riding :D
                  Live2Race. . .

                  Comment


                  • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                    [MENTION=59533]Rakesh Rok[/MENTION] never ever date a biker girl, she redlines before you even warm up.
                    I am back!

                    Comment


                    • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

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                      When Was The Last Time,You Did Something For The First Time.

                      Comment


                      • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                        Now-a-days, kids be like.. I know it all


                        Ride safe and have fun.
                        Regards
                        Nadeem

                        Comment


                        • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                          The Pastor's Ass

                          The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

                          The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered
                          in another race and it won again.


                          The local paper read:


                          PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.


                          The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered
                          the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.

                          The next day the local paper headline read:

                          BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.



                          This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor
                          to get rid of the donkey.

                          The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

                          The local paper, hearing of the news,


                          Posted the following headline:


                          NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN.



                          The Bishop fainted.


                          He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey
                          so she sold it to a farmer for $10.


                          The next day the headlines read:

                          NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.



                          This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back
                          the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.


                          The next day the headlines read:


                          NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS

                          IS WILD AND FREE.



                          Alas ... The Bishop was buried the next day.

                          MORAL OF THE STORY???


                          Being overly concerned about public opinion can bring you
                          much grief and misery and even shorten your life :-)


                          So, be yourself and enjoy life.


                          Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer.


                          ----consecutive posts auto-merged-----

                          A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his mother to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is how he went about it..




                          .." So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a itch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something...
                          Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so.. he decided to get his wife and his bro along...you know...so that they could all chill out together.
                          But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man... they had monkeys and devils and shit like that.But this dude, Ram, kicked ass with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine.
                          But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man , and also his bro,Laxman,pissed. ..And you don't piss this son-of-a-gun cuz, he just kicks ass and like... all the gods were with him.. So anyways,you don't mess with gods.
                          So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys..Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok...So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this Gangsta's ass in his own hood.
                          Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest..and anyways...it gets kinda boring,you know...no TV or malls or shit like that. So, they decided to hitch a ride backhome... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home... they thought, well, you know at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or
                          clubs in those days...so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit...and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also... so it was pretty cooool...you know with all those fireworks...
                          Really, they even had some localband play along with the fireworks... and you know, what, dude, that was the very first diwali.

                          Comment


                          • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                            Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from many men.
                            It was laid out over five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.

                            The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.

                            A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping center to find some husbands...

                            First floor
                            The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids."
                            The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"
                            So up they went.

                            Second floor
                            The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."
                            "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But I wonder what's further up?"

                            Third floor
                            This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."
                            "Wow," said the women, "Very tempting."
                            But there was another floor so further up they went.

                            Fourth floor
                            This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."
                            "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on!"

                            So up to the fifth floor they went.

                            Fifth floor
                            The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are f*cking impossible to please.
                            The exit is to your left; we hope you fall down the stairs."
                            The real beauty lies in throttle's twist!!

                            Headlight can be replaced, Head cannot be. Wear a helmet.

                            Comment


                            • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                              A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the
                              older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the
                              youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short.
                              The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he
                              turned to his wife and said,"Honey, before I die, be totally honest
                              with me - is our youngest son my child?"
                              The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your
                              son."
                              With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered,"Thank God
                              he didn't ask about the other three."


                              A couple were driving at 70mph down the road, husband behind the wheel.
                              The wife suddenly says "Honey, I know we've been married twenty years but I want a divorce."
                              He says nothing but increases the speed to 80mph.
                              She says "Now don't try to talk me out of it, I've been screwing your best friend
                              for sometime now and he IS better at sex than you."
                              He stays quiet, but speeds up to 90mph.
                              She says "I want the house and the car."
                              (He is now doing 100mph.)
                              "I want the bank accounts and the credit cards too." she says
                              The husband starts to veer towards the side of the road and a large grove of trees.
                              The wife gets nervous and asks "Isn't there ANYTHING you want?"
                              "No, I've got all I need." He said
                              "Oh really, so what exactly do you have?"
                              Just before they hit the tree at 120mph he smiles and says: "The freaking air-bag!"
                              When Was The Last Time,You Did Something For The First Time.

                              Comment


                              • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...



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                                Cheers!
                                VJ
                                Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
                                The girl said, 'NO!'


                                And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


                                THE END

                                Comment

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