Since '02 xBhp is different things to different people. From a close knit national community of bikers to India's only motorcycling lifestyle magazine and a place to make like-minded biker friends. Join us

Castrol Power 1

Always keep the chain well lubricated.

Our Partner

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

    A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

    The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..

    She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

    Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5kg as promised.

    He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10kg program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

    Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

    Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10kg as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25kg program.

    "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

    The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."

    He lost 33 kilos that week.
    The real beauty lies in throttle's twist!!

    Headlight can be replaced, Head cannot be. Wear a helmet.

    Comment


    • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...











      Sent from my Spice Mi-530 using Tapatalk 4
      Splendor - 2k to 2006
      Karizma - 2k3 to 2009
      P180 - 2k6 to 2k9
      Hunk - Oct 2k7 til now
      ZMR - 2010 to Forever
      RX135(2k) - 2013 to 2018
      Ninja 250R (2010) - 2016 til now
      RayZ - 2015 til now
      Ninja 650 (2014) - 2017 til now


      Delhi to Narkanda
      Delhi to Coimbatore
      Delhi to Nepal

      Comment


      • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

        Santa Called @ vodafone /airtel/relaince/idea. care


        A girl picked up the phone


        Girl: ..........customer care mein aapka swaagat hai


        Santa:thank u


        Girl: mai aapki kya sahaayta kar sakti hu??


        Santa:kya aap shaadi karna chahti hai mujhse??


        Girl: jee aapne galat number laga diya hai



        Santa:nai nai maine sahi number lagaya hai, aap shaadi karengi?


        Girl: jee mai shaadi mein interested nai hu



        Santa:arre madam sun toh lijiye ek baar


        Girl: not interested


        Santa:love marriage karengi toh honeymoon mein switzerland, arrange marriage karengi toh paris


        Girl: jee mai aapse shaadi karna hee nai chahti toh aap offer kyu de rahe hai??


        Santa:court marriage ka expense 10,000rs
        Normal wedding ka expense 2,00,000rs
        Muslim style wedding mein sirf 200rs



        Girl: aapko samajh nai aata ki mujhe shaadi nai karni fir bhi aap samajte nai


        Santa:ab pata chala madam aapko humara dard, jabki hume nai interest hota phir bhi aap naye naye offer ke naam per baar baar call karti rehti hai



        Girl shocked, Santa rocked

        Sent from my GT-N7000 using Tapatalk

        Comment


        • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...


          Ride safe and have fun.
          Regards
          Nadeem

          Comment


          • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

            Originally posted by psr View Post
            Before you say " Money is not Everything " ...make sure you have enough of it.....
            And trust me sir, I happen to have a kinesis of some sort that this was going to be said by someone, and it happen to be you. Plus it's not about money, it's about make the best of what you have and be happy. But of course I knew you were just pulling my legs.

            Cheers!
            VJ
            Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
            The girl said, 'NO!'


            And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


            THE END

            Comment


            • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

              Hehe..


              Over shy guy


              Grown-ups can't seem to understand the imagination of kids..


              So much of democracy..


              Husbands by be


              Hehe.. seems to right..

              Ride safe and have fun.
              Regards
              Nadeem

              Comment


              • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                STICKY ISSUES


                Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
                A blind man joins them after a few
                minutes.
                When the bus arrives, they find it
                overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.

                After a while, the husband gets
                irritated by the ticking sound of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
                The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be in the bus right now...so shut up!!!"

                Cheers!
                VJ
                Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
                The girl said, 'NO!'


                And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and watched sport on a big screen TV, went fishing and surfing, and played golf a lot, and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.


                THE END

                Comment


                • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                  Originally posted by B7ACKTHORN View Post
                  And trust me sir, I happen to have a kinesis of some sort that this was going to be said by someone, and it happen to be you. Plus it's not about money, it's about make the best of what you have and be happy. But of course I knew you were just pulling my legs.

                  Cheers!
                  VJ
                  When Was The Last Time,You Did Something For The First Time.

                  Comment


                  • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                    Originally posted by rreneav1987


                    Use Motul 300v Double Easter, it has better lubricating quality so the piston won't scratch the cylinder wall
                    I am back!

                    Comment


                    • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                      Originally posted by Cleaner View Post
                      Use Motul 300v Double Easter, it has better lubricating quality so the piston won't scratch the cylinder wall
                      LoL.. I guess you know it well.. I understand that you have tried it already and you are saying it with experience.. but I rather not have that pain in my ass like you did

                      your suggestion might help others what say [MENTION=59533]Rakesh Rok[/MENTION] [MENTION=41586]Divya Sharan[/MENTION] [MENTION=63811]Night_Shade[/MENTION] ??
                      Splendor - 2k to 2006
                      Karizma - 2k3 to 2009
                      P180 - 2k6 to 2k9
                      Hunk - Oct 2k7 til now
                      ZMR - 2010 to Forever
                      RX135(2k) - 2013 to 2018
                      Ninja 250R (2010) - 2016 til now
                      RayZ - 2015 til now
                      Ninja 650 (2014) - 2017 til now


                      Delhi to Narkanda
                      Delhi to Coimbatore
                      Delhi to Nepal

                      Comment


                      • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                        Originally posted by rreneav1987 View Post
                        LoL.. I guess you know it well.. I understand that you have tried it already and you are saying it with experience.. but I rather not have that pain in my ass like you did

                        your suggestion might help others what say @Rakesh Rok @Divya Sharan @Night_Shade ??
                        LMAO.... you made my day buddy.... @Cleaner, Use different oils with care as you have already lost one machine(Reneav, I forgot her errr.. sorry the machine name)

                        P.S for [MENTION=61791]Cleaner[/MENTION] : Mate for pain in Ass, use better lubrication and 2% Jelly(Local Anaesthesia)
                        Last edited by Night_Shade; 11-11-2013, 11:46 AM.

                        Comment


                        • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                          Originally posted by rreneav1987 View Post
                          LoL.. I guess you know it well.. I understand that you have tried it already and you are saying it with experience.. but I rather not have that pain in my ass like you did

                          your suggestion might help others what say @Rakesh Rok @Divya Sharan @Night_Shade ??
                          Yeah, I'm speaking from personal experience, a lot of girls complained that putting my piston scratches the bore after long rides. I suggested to use Motul 300v as a temporary fix and after researching for months, found out the reason. My steel piston has hardened to due to rigorous friction generated through contact with my hand resulting in massive amount of heat, so the hardened piston easily scratches the bore. I later fixed the heating issue by using cutting fluid whenever I work on my pistons. One thing the girls reported though, this piston increased the throttle response and made the engine "rev happy", all contributing to more "riding fun".

                          Speaking of butt pain, a few reported it but they said it is due to more time they spend on the saddle as the "riding pleasure" has increased after putting in the new piston.
                          I am back!

                          Comment


                          • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                            Originally posted by Night_Shade View Post
                            LMAO.... you made my day buddy.... @Cleaner, Use different oils with care as you have already lost one machine(Reneav, I forgot her errr.. sorry the machine name)

                            P.S for @Cleaner : Mate for pain in Ass, use better lubrication and 2% Jelly(Local Anaesthesia)
                            The please is on my side brothaaa
                            Splendor - 2k to 2006
                            Karizma - 2k3 to 2009
                            P180 - 2k6 to 2k9
                            Hunk - Oct 2k7 til now
                            ZMR - 2010 to Forever
                            RX135(2k) - 2013 to 2018
                            Ninja 250R (2010) - 2016 til now
                            RayZ - 2015 til now
                            Ninja 650 (2014) - 2017 til now


                            Delhi to Narkanda
                            Delhi to Coimbatore
                            Delhi to Nepal

                            Comment


                            • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                              When Was The Last Time,You Did Something For The First Time.

                              Comment


                              • Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

                                Originally posted by Cleaner View Post
                                Yeah, I'm speaking from personal experience, a lot of girls complained that putting my piston scratches the bore after long rides. I suggested to use Motul 300v as a temporary fix and after researching for months, found out the reason. My steel piston has hardened to due to rigorous friction generated through contact with my hand resulting in massive amount of heat, so the hardened piston easily scratches the bore. I later fixed the heating issue by using cutting fluid whenever I work on my pistons. One thing the girls reported though, this piston increased the throttle response and made the engine "rev happy", all contributing to more "riding fun".

                                Speaking of butt pain, a few reported it but they said it is due to more time they spend on the saddle as the "riding pleasure" has increased after putting in the new piston.

                                Ahhh.. I see.. well.. please do be careful.. I don't wanna see you with STD.. please do remember you might have to re-bore or replace your piston and bore set sooner or later no matter which brand Oil/lubrication you are using..

                                My suggestion for you would be to use additives to protect the wear and tear of your piston and bore set
                                Splendor - 2k to 2006
                                Karizma - 2k3 to 2009
                                P180 - 2k6 to 2k9
                                Hunk - Oct 2k7 til now
                                ZMR - 2010 to Forever
                                RX135(2k) - 2013 to 2018
                                Ninja 250R (2010) - 2016 til now
                                RayZ - 2015 til now
                                Ninja 650 (2014) - 2017 til now


                                Delhi to Narkanda
                                Delhi to Coimbatore
                                Delhi to Nepal

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X