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**nadz11.ns** · 11-12-2013, 11:52 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

This haven't started for me yet.. But i can relate..

**sumitro_d** · 11-13-2013, 09:28 AM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

रात को सोने से पहले एक मच्छर जरूर मार दियाकरे, ताकि
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बाकी के मच्छर उसके जनाजे पर चले जायें,और आप मज़े से सो जायें।

कसम से बचपन से intelligent हूँ, पर कभी घमंड नहीं किया॥

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SCIENCE kehta hai ki paani ubalne se kitanu mar jate hai..
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Par Science ko ye nahi pata ki kitanu ke marne ke baad unki ''Dead Bodies'' to paani me hi reh jati hai !
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Stupid Science
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kasam se bachpan se genius hu... Lekin kabhi Ghamand nahi kiya

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Cow & Cat both are sisters..
Now you must be thinking ke kaise?

Jyada mat socho.
I'm telling you, Cow Mata hoti hai Aur Billi Mousi

Bola tha na bachpan se hi intelligent hoon, lekin kabhi Ghamand nahi kiya.

No claps plz....I dnt like publicity..
bas ab Thanks mat bolna, Jab tak knowledge hai dete rahenge...

Sent from my GT-N7000 using Tapatalk

**rreneav1987** · 11-13-2013, 04:04 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Few Adult Jokes

Kids.. keep away

Santa: My 8yr old son is very naughty, he has made my maid servant pregnant.
Confused Banta: How the hell?
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Santa: He took a pin & punctured all my condoms.

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Mr. Smith comes to his wife, "Honey, could you be sewing on a wee button that's come off of my fly? I cannot button my pants."

"Oh Dear ... I've got me hands in the dishpan, go up the stairs and see if Mrs. Jones could be helping you with it."

About five minutes later there's a terrible crash, a bang, a bit of yelling and the sound of a body falling down the stairs. Walking back in the door with a blackened eye and a bloody nose comes Mr. Smith.

Mrs. Smith looks at him and says, "My god, what happened to you? Did you ask her like I told you?"

"Yeah," says Mr. Smith. "I asked her to sew on the wee button and she did. Everything was going fine but when she bent on to bite off the wee thread, Mr. Jones walked in..."

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A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.

He says, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"
She says, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."

"And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?"

"We use it for xxx."

The researcher was a little taken back.

"Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's Bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for xxx. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for xxx?"

The woman says, "I don't mind telling you at all...My husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out."

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A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father." The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that. "

The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many."

The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way.. "

The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,

"Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar."

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The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift.

She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?

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One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake,
the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, ( thinking , 'Isn't that obvious ? ')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'For reading a book,' she replies ,

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault ,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL :
Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

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Two Indian women friends, Sheela and Kusum had gone for a girl's night out - both were very beautiful and loving wives.
However, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.
Incredibly drunk & walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with, so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend Sheela, however, was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next a grave that had a wreath with ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home.

The next day, Mr. Pernab, Kusum's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the Mr. Taran the other husband and said, 'These dam girls' night out have got to stop - I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties.'

You think that's bad' said Taran, the other husband, 'Sheela' is lying in bed with a card stuck in her bum that says....

"From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you"

**ashoka_bnglr** · 11-13-2013, 04:20 PM

**Night_Shade** · 11-13-2013, 05:01 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

[MENTION=27501]rreneav1987[/MENTION] [MENTION=59533]Rakesh Rok[/MENTION] [MENTION=41586]Divya Sharan[/MENTION] WATCH THIS!!!

**rreneav1987** · 11-13-2013, 06:26 PM

Re: Hilarious Quotes/Pictures/Answers ...

Wedding Invitation.. pretty Unique..

**B7ACKTHORN** · 11-13-2013, 07:56 PM